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Original poster

Child HATES breakfast club

10 replies

NM171986 · 19/09/2019 09:19

So my 4 year old has been at school the last 2 weeks and loves it, really happy going in etc. Except on thursdays and fridays when he has to go to breakfast club for 30 mins. We didnt do it the first week but last week we went and he cried, still went in and stopped crying after 5 mins according to teacher.

Today was his 3rd breakfast there and he got so upset, I mean he clung to me, sobbed and screamed, I couldnt leave because he was physically stuck to me. It was awful! So I caved and we waited for 8.30 (I'm on MAT leave currently for another few weeks). I know that was a mistake as now he knows he can kick off and get own way, but I had my baby with me making it difficult, and had no choice.

I dont know what to do...stick it out and keep trying, risk him dreading going into school? Or cave and beg grandparents to take him to school on those days? Ideas welcome!

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adagio · 19/09/2019 09:24

Oh it’s so difficult when they are small. At least he is enjoying school in general - that’s very positive! I would try and find out what he doesn’t like about it - is it the food? big kids? Noise? (I guess it’s in the hall with all ages mixed) and take from there. It might be you decide he would be better with childminder or grandparents just for reception year - by year 1 he will be much more used to things and better able to cope as they grow up and become so much more independent in that first year.

Having just had a week off work (childminder is on hol) I have been doing all my children’s drops off/pick ups and loving it - I am dreading going back next week so you gave my sincere sympathy.

PhilipJennings · 19/09/2019 09:25

Keep going. It takes a few weeks to accept it as normal and tbh I'd think longer given that he gets to stay home the other days. You have to train the pattern so it is going to be harder.

It's like settling in at nursery, the first day is exciting, the next six weeks are hell, and after that it balances out.

It took my son about a month to get used to it although he's 6 now and while he doesn't complain about breakfast club, he often complains about the one morning he has to do gymnastics (but he knows Mummy has to go - I have never missed my train and I'm not about to start now!)

JenniR29 · 19/09/2019 15:41

He probably doesn’t hate breakfast club he just hates the change to his routine and the fact that you are ‘leaving him’ earlier than you normally would. Keep going, he will eventually get used to it and probably will even enjoy it when he has friends there, it’s still early days.

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StockTakeFucks · 19/09/2019 18:13

Why does he "hate" breakfast club?
Before ignoring it I'd try to get to the bottom of this first. Different reasons will need different actions. It could be anything from waking up earlier,change in routine etc to it being too noisy, someone being mean to him,feeling overwhelmed amongst the older kids and so on.

Normandy144 · 19/09/2019 18:31

He's only been 3 times, it is way too early to give in on this. Keep going, discuss what it is he doesn't like and try and give positive suggestions of how he can enjoy it. It is after all only 30 minutes. Ask the staff if he has any friends there as that will help if he has a friendly face he is looking forward to seeing.
It takes a long time for them to settle. That first term can be a roller-coaster with kids who were fine for the first few weeks hating it after a month etc. You just have to remain constant.

Teddybear45 · 19/09/2019 18:35

Honestly I would try the club all week to begin with if possible as it’s possible not many working parents put their kids in just Thurs / Fri (they are typically work from home days where I am). Then as he sees it’s normal you could cut it down (or not).

Zuma76 · 19/09/2019 21:19

I know a little girl who really struggled with breakfast club. The team at the school helped her settle in but it took a few weeks. I would speak to the school and see if they can give your DS a buddy a year or two older than him who will find him out and play with him.

IncyWincySpiderOnRepeat · 23/09/2019 12:38

Hi, no real advice but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, I am having exactly the same problem with DD started school this September.

She has always gone to breakfast club at nursery (4 days a week) so our morning routine hasn’t changed at all. School is fine, but she absolutely hates the breakfast club so far.

I think in our case it is the mix of older children and there not being anyone she knows or can play with.

I’m hoping this will improve this week now that the other reception children are also full time and a few of her class members will also be doing breakfast club.

It is very, very early days still for your DS if he has only been three times so I think I would try to establish what is bothering him and persevere with taking him so that he gets used to the new routine.

You have my sympathy, it is awful leaving them when they are so upset but hopefully it will be worth it in the long run...

BeckyJ19 · 06/11/2019 16:27

I'm having the exact same problem. My son turned 4 in September and started nursery. He had already been to a different nursery but moved him in for the September term. Started breakfast club cried and screamed. Trying to stick to it but he is now refusing to go in until a certain teacher comes and takes him in. It's really stressing me out I'm getting upset on the way to work and not having much support from anyone really. I have parents evening next week so am going to mention it. Hopefully something will improve. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Liverpoolgirl52 · 10/11/2019 13:49

I would recommend looking into a childminder to take your son to school. We often take children to school and quite a few children have left breakfast club to come to ours instead. They much prefer it here because it’s much more laid back and doesn’t feel like they’re at school for so many hours. Is your son able to tell you why he doesn’t like it? One of ours really hated it because their friends were playing in the playground and running around, whilst the breakfast club children have to stand and watch, due to staff supervision I guess. The school children we look after see our home as a second home, rather than like school. Definitely visit local childminders and get a feel for them. You could always persevere with breakfast club for say a week or two but if it doesn’t improve then I’d be looking at your other options. 4 is still so little to cope with being at school for 6, then the added time of breakfast/after school clubs where they can’t really relax or have downtime if needed

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