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Parenting

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My partner is constantly undermining me with the kids

1 reply

nprall · 19/09/2019 00:20

I'll try to keep this short and sweet. Basically, my boyfriend of 4 years is constantly undermining me in front of the kids. He has two kids from a previous relationship and I have one.

Last night for example at 8:00 pm I told the kids that electronics were going off. We have the same routine every night, electronics are off one hour before bedtime.

About 5 minutes later my boyfriend turns on the Nintendo and starts playing with the kids. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed that he hadn't heard me relaying to the kids that there were no electronics but he told me today that he had hurt me but decided to do it with them anyway because he couldn't think of any other way to spend time with the kids.

If it were this one thing I wouldn't be so frustrated but it feels constant. I'm not okay with being undermined like this. I've always told him that if he disagrees with a parenting decision I've made that he needs to speak to me in private and we'll work it out. But he says he doesn't want to do that because he just expects it will be an argument.

I don't know what to do, this has been going on for years with him and despite all of our conversations about it, he never changes. He's good cop and I'm bad cop, I want to be good cop for once!

Sometimes I get so frustrated and petty that I just want to turn the tables and be good cop. Guess what kids, candy for dinner and we're staying up until midnight every night this week watching horror films! If you wake up in the middle of the night scared, your dad won't mind if you wake him up or crawl into bed with him. Ha.

OP posts:
LouMumsnet · 20/09/2019 16:38

OP, this all sounds really frustrating for you. Hopefully there will be someone else along soon to offer support.

Also, another option is that we could shift your thread over to Relationships - you may get more useful advice in that topic.

Give us a shout if you'd like us to do that.

Smile
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