Exhausted toddler mum

[buzzkills]

Im so exhausted and just need a little rant 

I have a 2 year old who is fantastic, I love him to bits, but OMG being a parent is hard work!! I've been finding it hard since he was around 9 months. Some days I think it is starting to get a little bit easier, then he screams and tantrums all day and I think no it is still super hard!! 😬

I'm not sure what I'm looking for really. Just a bit of a moan I suppose. Unless anyone has any tips on how to cope with it better? I'm just so exhausted with the relentlessness of it all. I feel like I'm on a treadmill, running back to back marathons.

I work full time and I enjoy my work. I've finally got over the guilt of working full time. But every moment I'm not in work is spent either with DS or doing things for him (eg laundry, batch cooking, buying him new clothes, organising his toys, taking him for haircuts, to the dentist, to the drs, cleaning the house). I just thought by the time he was over 2 I'd start to get a little bit of the 'old me' back and have a little bit of time to myself. When can I expect this.. when he is 3? 4? 5? 😭😭😭

I’ve found age three gets easier, as this year has been the first mine can be left alone in a room for a minute or two without screaming for me! They get a little easier to reason with/bribe. Also they seem to catch fewer bugs, when he was two mine seemed to have a permanent cold or fever.

Some of the stuff you mention it might be possible to cut down on. For instance I don’t bother with professional haircuts. Dentist can be done just once a year. I only cook very simple meals as he gets more unusual things at nursery. Snacks are simple things like yoghurt or fruit.

Probably not on your radar right now but it got noticeably easier to parent my toddler daughter when she had a sibling (once the initial 6 months of a newborn and a 2-year old has passed!)

I think lowering your standards helps too. You don’t have to live in a hovel, but I found things that helped included only making ‘dishes’, eg. Lasagne, fish pie, when DH was around at the weekend and doing ‘component meals’ in the week - so something like a poached salmon breast with a few veg and potato.

You have my sympathy though - I found managing working with a toddler really hard. Do you have a partner who could take on some of the tasks, like dentist/doctor/cooking?

I found it really hard at that age OP, you miss them but when you get home they're exhausted and you're exhausted and there is so much to do that you can do really pay them all the attention they want. My youngest is 4 now and it's a whole new world of mostly calm. Things that helped were : just before you get out of the car to get him from nursery do 2 mins of calm breathing. I read this somewhere and it was about not rushing in frantic giving off panic vibes and just taking a moment. Then when you pick them up agree with the staff that you'll speak to your child first for a couple of mins. Mine started shouting because I'd go in and talk mainly to his key worker but of course to DS I was away all day then ignoring him when I arrived.

I always had a nice snack in the car (not popular but I needed him to stay calm for the drive home). At home I created a 3 week meal plan (nicked from MN) of kids foods so I always had exactly what I needed the night before. I stopped cooking proper adult meals in the week. Soup or a stir fry will do. Massively lowered my standards about housework too. Baskets in every room and just lob it in there. It's better now, I didn't enjoy the toddler years at all! It will get better, hang in there!