Playgroups and toy snatching

[MeadowHay]

Wasn't sure what to call this .

I have 1DD who is 15 months. What do you do if you take them to a playgroup and they're playing with something and

1. Another child comes and takes (or tries to take) the toy they're playing with off your DC?
2. Your DC takes/tries to take a toy that another DC is playing with?

At this age obv DD has no concept of sharing and lots (most?) of the DC at the playgroups also don't understand it. Also I have issue 1 far, far more because DD can't walk yet.

I play it by ear a bit. There was one older girl (I mean still preschool but older than DS, who was under 2 at the time) who really took against DS and would make a beeline to snatch whatever toy he was playing with, coming right from across the room just to take it. I tended to step in there and ask her to wait for a turn (and make sure she got it) as otherwise DS would have been flattened! He is a gentle soul and wouldn’t have hit or anything to defend himself, so I tried to intervene there. I also discourage DS from snatching, especially now he’s bigger himself, and encourage turn taking with plenty of praise.

However sometimes they sort themselves out and that’s ok too.

Same as settlers. I’d prefer not to intervene with other people’s kids but if they take something off my child and the parent is nowhere to be seen I do.

Declare it a Game of Thrones style battle. When bottles or snacks are spilt the winner shall be declared

Atm it hasn't occurred to DD to attempt any retaliation but then she can't really because it's almost always walking toddlers who grab it and walk off so my poor love is stuck on her bum reaching out towards it and crying . Having said that, nursery said recently that she had started trying to bite some of the other children when they have been sitting near her . They said 'in a curious way, not in a malicious way' (I know a 15 mo can't be 'malicious') and they made it sound like it was out of the blue other than a child sitting near her. She's never done that when I've taken her out she usually cries if any child comes close to her . Which I always think is weird as you would think she would be use to being around other children when she is in nursery 3 days a week

I guess some of it comes down to what you think is desirable as an outcome. I don't want my kids to hit other kids even if they have taken their toys. I wouldn't see that as assertiveness, to me hitting is never something that I would encourage or turn a blind eye to. I don't mind if my son pulls something back or takes it to play somewhere else. That to me is a helpful way to resolve things.

MeadowHay! How are you getting on? I almost posted on the criers thread the other day as DD has been teething a lot recently- luckily she’s back to normal (well her normal!) again now.

With toys I have been getting DD to share and making sure she doesn’t snatch. She is a bit of a diva at the moment, it’s great that she’s so confident but I have to rein her in. At 14 months there’s no way I’d leave her to ‘settle it herself’. As she’d probably end up throwing a toy at another child’s head. Almost happened yesterday with a chalk board!

All this talk of wrestling kids for a toy reminds of of this funny clip!

The best method I found was to offer the snatching child something else. "DD is playing with that, but look at this great thing you can have..." Same if my child wanted a toy "that's being played with, but I think the toy car is free, let's go."