DS just wants daddy

[Daisydaisy3]

Hi
My DS 4 seems to not want me to do anything with him anymore. I've always worked part time, his dad full time. He has been close to me for the first 3 years but now he only wants daddy to put him to bed, daddy to bath him, daddy to sit next to him, daddy to pretty much do everything. I feel like a spare part and it's getting me down.
I'm really pleased they have such a close relationship but I feel redundant. If it had only been a few months I think I could deal with it but it's been almost a year now.
We do fun things together on my days off, I also play with him lots and we do things he enjoys and he seems OK during that time but then I'm instantly dumped when daddy comes home and I find weekends tough as he doesn't really care if I'm there or not.
I've had to put him to bed when my H is out and he just cries for him.
Has anyone got any experience of this? He's our only child so maybe feels harder to take. I've also done the whole trying to make the most of the breaks but ultimately I just feel sad that he never really wants me

I have no personal experience but just wanted to say I have read A LOT of threads like this on MN and it seems to be fairly common. Lots of reassurance from others that it is a phase. Albeit a hard one I can imagine x

Yes my second son is like a limpet to his dad. My first son is too sometimes. If I'm tired it really upsets me as i thoughts boys were more inclined to want their mums. I wish my youngest would want to cuddle on the sofa with me instead sometimes but I'm glad they love their dad and he is great with them. I don't have any answers but just wanted to say i get it too and it is upsetting. It's just a phase I'm hoping and mummy cuddles will be back on the agenda soon!

OP have you heard of the book Raising Boys by Steve Biddulph? I really recommend it, it explains an awful lot about how boys and young men are and the different phases they go through. I think the book would reassure you that identifying more closely with one parent or the other is a completely normal part of development and it'll keep evolving.

They do this. Last few weeks it was all mummy but now I can't get a cuddle or to read a story. I am acting like a needy girlfriend! Enjoy your free time and it will swing back the other day!

No I haven't read that book, I will check it out thanks.
I think If it was just a few weeks or months I could view it differently but as its been a year I sort of feel like this can't be classed as a phase anymore and I just feel a bit sad that we've lost the relationship we had. I feel like my nieces and nephews value me more and want to be around me more than my own child.
I know they haven't got the language skills at 4 but he's been saying stuff like I'm bored of you now, I'm fed up of you, I just want daddy or I don't love you, I need daddy etc