Trapped at home by 12 week old DD

[MeredithGrey1]

DD is 12 weeks and I feel so miserable! She screams blue murder in the car seat, the pram and the sling, the only place she’s happy is being held. We have two sling/carriers, a wrap one and a more structured buckles and straps one and she hates them both.

I feel so trapped because I can’t take her out anywhere because she howls the whole time. I took her to a nearby country park this morning and got stranded because she was screaming in the pram and needed me to hold her with both arms to soothe her, and then I couldn’t push the pram so just ended up standing around for ages trying not to burst into tears in public! In the end I had to just put her down and leg it back to the car with her absolutely wailing - I mean really horrible sounding screaming - and then she cried the whole way home in the car. I don’t think there is anything wrong with her as she’s fine the second you pick her up, it’s like a switch that flicks, as you lower her down she starts bawling, stopping immediately when you pick her up again.
When it comes to naps she will only sleep on me, putting her down drowsy doesn’t work, putting her down once she’s asleep doesn’t work, so I spend almost my entire day just holding her either to stop her crying, or while she sleeps (she does allow me to put her down provided she’s awake and in a good mood, and I remain right next to her, but this only last max 15 mins before she wants picking up again).

Im going out of my mind, I know I should get out and about but I can’t put myself, or her, through the misery it brings.

What do I do? Will this get better by itself?

Are there any signs of reflux??

Do contact your GP. However in the meantime As this is impacting your MH, the safest thing to do when it all gets too much is to let her cry. If she’s safe and sound in her pram / cot etc then let her cry it out while you make yourself a cuppa in another room.

Reflux or CMPA? Is she breastfed or formula fed?

Are there any signs of reflux??

She absolutely never spits up, so it would be silent reflux if she had it, so to be honest I’m not sure how to tell. She does generally go down in her cot alright at night though, it’s just naps where she refuses. She wakes frequently but not excessively I don’t think.

Reflux or CMPA? Is she breastfed or formula fed?

She’s exclusively breastfed. CMPA has crossed my mind but I think it’s more a desperate attempt on my part to find something fixable iyswim, and there is a family history of allergies on both sides including DH who has a severe anaphylaxis allergy. She has very mucusy poo, and her weight gain has dropped off (from above 60th to below 20th percentile) plus she is quite congested and has a persistent cough (since she was a week old) but neither the GP or the HV are bothered about any of this. Her weight was at 25th then 20th percentile at the last two checks and as this wasn’t a big drop like the previous one (where it went from 60th to 25th) they said it wasn’t an issue. She does settle well when she’s held though so I don’t know if that makes an issue like cmpa less likely?

Have you tried a cranial osteopath? Might be some tension left over from the birth. Really helped my lb.

Look up the symptoms for silent reflux. My son has to be held upright to sleep most of the time during the day but sleeps fine at night. He has all the symptoms of silent reflux and we’ve had an uphill battle getting the doctor to give him the medication he needs. He cries a lot of the time he’s awake and struggles to sleep on his back during the day. At night his next to be is tilted slightly which helps a bit. Reflux and CMPA can go hand in hand I’ve read so we’ve got prescription formula to check that also. My sons weight is doing well so considered thriving but don’t let the doctors and HV fob you off.

How long has she been like this ?

My DD cried A LOT as a small baby, she was investigated for a few things but all the HCPs said they couldn't find anything physically wrong with her so we never got to the bottom of it. She cried most of the first 7 months of her life tbh but it gradually got less and less after about 4 months onwards. She didn't scream much in the pram usually though and never for more than 5/10 minutes in the Baby Bjorn, and never in the car. You say she is happy being held, but she still screams in the slings? Is there a sling or carrier you could buy or whatever that would be similar to the way that you carry her that she likes?

Also you say she screams, how long for? Because DD sometimes screamed but after 10 mins or so she would go to sleep. I know what it's like walking the street with a tiny baby screaming blue murder and everyone looking at you whilst you walk with tears coming down your face. But she did eventually go to sleep and nothing else I did would work so it needed to be done. I'm just wondering whether if you are stopping every time she screams, maybe she is just tired and after 10 mins or so she would stop and sleep?