So sorry it's a long one just desperate for advice ....have a 3 yr old boy, me and his father split up when he was 1 and ds has been going to his dad every weekend since the split. He used to get so excited to see his dad but recently (maybe in the past 6 months, but getting worse now) everytime dad comes to collect, ds will cry kick off and scream for me clinging on to me we have to prise his hands off me and it's so heartbreaking to watch, i try and comfort him but there's no consoling him in the end his father just drags him away and takes him to the car and I can just hear him screaming and crying for me, it makes me feel like such a bad mum hearing it and not being able to do anything. It's exactly the same situation when I drop him off at nursery I just have to leave and hear him crying for me. Even though he was fine there last year. Now the whole weekends he is with his dad and the days he is at nursery I'm just anxious and depressed and wanting to be back with him and make sure he's okay but i can't do that. The nursery will text update me but my ex has my number blocked so no way to see how he's doing for 2 days it's horrible!
Also at bedtime if I leave the room he will cry and scream until I come back in and have to sit by his bed until he's in a deep sleep, I am sometimes sitting in his room for hours every night and then he will wake in the night and see me gone and cry again . I'm so tired by that point I put him to bed with me - and again this behaviour is all in the last few months he used to be a great sleeper I'd just read to him tuck him in and leave and he would be fine :/ sleep perfectly through the night.
Now I obviously love that my ds has a good bond with me as when he was a newborn I felt like he hated me, always wanted everyone else but me. But it's getting so hard now I just want to be at ease when he's with his dad or at nursery and knowing he's fine, I want to be able to leave him with a family member for more than 5 minutes to do something without him kicking off. And I need to be able to put him to bed at 7 and be able to get house cleaned and everything organised and to bed myself rather than just sitting in his room till 10-11pm doing nothing just waiting, is this behaviour normal?? Has anyone got any advice or in the same boat just feel lost now I thought it was a phase but It's getting worse each week