Will a fed to sleep baby ever sleep through?

[Russell19]

My baby is 4 months old, has always fed to sleep at night (first time mum, ebf baby, now being told it's a bad habit etc).

He was going to sleep around 8pm and waking around 12 and 3 for feeds. Now he's asleep at 8pm but wakes at 8.30pm and then near enough every hour all night long. I am shattered. If I feed him he will sleep very quickly but wakes within an hour again. I have tried other means for him to sleep again, shush, pat, white noise, cuddling, husband taking over, nothing else seems to work.

I am sure he's doing it for comfort not because he's hungry, he doesn't wake up crying he is just kicking around groaning.

This has been going on around 3 weeks, please give me some advice or tell me he will sleep for longer soon! Haha. I don't mind feeding to sleep if he slept for longer in the night but will that ever happen?

Growth spurt? 4 months is a bit of a shitter I didn't breastfeed but usually fed my little one to sleep as it was easiest, and he's a great sleeper now x

4 months is still quite young - it’s not just feeding for comfort, they do still very much need the milk at that age. In a few months when he starts eating solid food confidently you can start working on not feeding to sleep or offering water instead etc as you can be more sure that he doesn’t actually need the milk at that many points during the night.

Yes, he will sleep through at some point even if you do nothing. It might not be anytime soon though. My 2ps worth based on many many hours of trawling sleep forums and FB groups is that many are sleeping through after 12 months and most are sleeping through after 24 months, regardless of parental choice on how to deal with sleep. If you want it to happen sooner you could sleep train after 6 months but there is no guarantee that it is a failsafe solution (or everyone would probably do it the night baby turned 6 months...).

It's a typical age for them to wake a lot. Some babies sort themselves out some dont. Annoying as you have lost the newborn sympathy by then. I fed all mine to sleep (am lazy) and they were all ok sleepers - slept through more often than not at 9 / 6 / 6 months, and generally only 1 night feed before then but all but oldest had a rubbish bit around 16 weeks.

@crazycatbaby thanks! When did it get easier? Haha!!! X

Although if you’re certain it’s just for comfort could you offer a dummy?

Thank you everyone. I know 4 months is a hard time due to leaps and growing but I see other mums complaining about 1 wake up in the night and I feel annoyed! I'd give anything at the moment for just one night wake up.

@RicStar did the feeding to sleep just gradually stop when they weaned/were ready?

@PuffHuffle5 I've tried, it gets spat out instantly!!! Tried different dummies too.

Sounds like the 4 month sleep regression, it's rubbish! I could never stop DS1 feeding to sleep so I stopped trying. They are all so different and things change by the month anyway. DS1 has always been a rubbish sleeper so I just did whatever got me the most sleep, if feeding him gets him back to sleep the quickest then I'd do it to be honest!

In exactly the same boat. First time mum, lots of advice/opinions thrown at me.

Download the wonder weeks app and it will tell you roughly when leaps/regressions/growth spurts happen. This helped me greatly when my daughter wasn't sleeping and I knew it wasn't because she was being difficult or because I'm breast feeding her, it's because she's having a tough time.

I'm 8 months in and my little one is still breast fed to sleep. She's never slept well since birth but just get used to it and at times I will have a crying breakdown when/if it gets too much. However as I'm returning back to work soon I have contacted the health visitor to see about a referral to a sleep team.

What I have found works sometimes is if I know I've fed her an hour ago or so I put her on my shoulder and rock her to sleep. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't but it gets them to stop relying on the boob. It's getting more successful as time goes on.

I had the same thing half of the people say to feed to sleep which is best for baby and there's nothing wrong with it and other half say it's wrong.

On a good night she ll wake three times going to bed at 8pm which is doable. At the worst it can be hourly.

Do what's best for you and your little one, stay strong, lots of tea and chocolate. It's physically, mentally and emotionally draining but this is what I wanted to do and what I think is best for baby. Just think it's not going to be forever

I've fed both of mine to sleep until roughly 15mnths. now 3yr and 18month they both go to sleep mostly with little fuss and apart from a spate of nightmares they sleep through. From memory one slept throught from 10months the other was later but each baby is different.

At that young age we did "split shifts" so we could both get a chunk of sleep.

I fed to sleep until DD was over 1yo. She BF until 20 months and I know that towards the end when she woke in the night she was not always seeking milk. Usually she just wanted comfort or reassurance.

I introduced a dummy for sleep early on, but BF on demand and coslept, so later on I would often give the dummy at night once she was usually sleeping through and no longer needing milk.

Basically feed your baby as often as they like, it's an annoying phase but it does stop. Once they're on solids they eat a bit more and don't need so much milk.
Cosleeping makes it less objectionable, if you can just roll over, pop them on, and go back to sleep again!

dd (who was dc1) was hardest to get to stop feeding to sleep - both boys just stopped falling asleep ds1 loves sleep and he was quite happy just popped in his cot, ds2 likes a bit of attention. I went back to work with both around 8 months so they had bottles then and I think that change broke the pattern.

I fed all mine to sleep and they are excellent sleepers now.
I went through this though and would say your baby might be getting tummy ache by feeding every hour so you might want to try just cuddling back to sleep or offering a sip of water from a bottle for a few of those wake ups. Maybe try just to breastfeed around 11pm and 3am (or whatever two times suit in the night) to break the habit.

They say it takes 3 days to make a habit and 3 days to break a habit!

Thanks again everyone your advice is much appreciated. For now I think I'll just go with it and wait until he is 5 months and see if there's a change.

I have tried expressing and my husband giving him a bottle to break to comfort thing but he just won't close his mouth around the teat! Ive tried tomee tippee, manm and dr browns bottles, no difference. Fussy baby! Anyone had this issue too?

My 13-month old is still fed to sleep and has slept through since a month, so when he was 12 months. We tried gently to get him to sleep through at 8 months and at 10 months, but he wasn't keen. :)

My view is that sleeping through has a lot less to do with what you do (feed to sleep/or not) and more to do with your baby, your baby's personality and your baby's development.

Oh, and 4-months was an awful time sleep-wise, but it will pass!

I'm breastfeeding my 14 month old. Breastfeeding (and obviously solids!) is all he's ever known. I've fed him to sleep almost his whole life and have never sleep trained. Always feed him if he wakes at night and got told all the same stuff you've been told - bad habit etc. I honestly ignored all of this and continued to just feed and comfort my baby as me and my fiancé best saw fit.

I can assure you that around the 10 month mark he started sleeping through the night. At first just once a week, gradually building up to most nights. No input from us, he really did just start doing it on his own.

Breastfeeding is never a 'bad habit' imo and 4 months is still so young. Breastfeed / settle your baby however you want for however long you want and ignore all the unwanted advice. Good luck

Haven't RTFT but yes. I fed and still feed my baby to sleep and since 7 months old she's slept 7.30-7.30.

Yup to bottle refusers too, the only way we got through the early days was sleeping when I could (harder with dc2), taking shifts so I feed to sleep then handed over and went for a sleep while dh (or anyone!)held her until she woke then tried to hold her off the next feed for as long as possible ( sounds harsher than it was), even once every few days helped.

We also had this understandimg that sleep was a priority over everything, quick easy meals, washed up when time, washing when time etc

Sorry, to confirm I definitely didn't mean breastfeeding is a bad habit!! I am very very pro breastfeeding and extended breastfeeding. I just meant if the baby had started waking every hour to suckle rather than feed that it might be a habit that you could change by offering a cuddle or water which after a few nights they might not bother waking for.

But I would definitely always feed a hungry baby whatever hour of the night it is!

Good luck xxx

Mine still isn't great but at 4 months we were still giving him a bottle at about midnight which would see him through to about 6am. I was happy enough with a 5-6 hour stretch at that stage.
I'd then recommend sleep training from 6 months once baby is doing ok on solids. We did crying it out...it was painful and my heart hurt to do it but it works!
I would keep trying with self settling for now also, it'll help down the line

To the people who fed to sleep past 6 months did you keep them in the same room as you?? Can't see any other way! I'll be walking from room to room like crazy if not. I'm sure the wake ups won't be as frequent then though (well I'm hoping!)

I still fed to sleep well past a year.
But I would put the baby in a different room now. I'm convinced they wake more if they can smell the milk!

Or at 6mnths

I am still BFing my 6-month-old DS to sleep every night, and he still wakes frequently. Some nights are better than others, and during the 4-month regression I had a shocker of a night with him much like OP describes, but it was followed by his best ever 6 hours straight.
He hasn't done either of those since I might add.
It's so tough with the frequent night feeds and co-sleeping is the only way I can cope. On the other hand though, I don't want to stop BFing as it is easy, baby is growing so well and he enjoys it!
I have been back at work since DS was 4 months old and haven't had a full night's sleep since I was about 7 months pregnant.
We have tried dummies (spat out), bottle feeding (went OK, then DH did a 10-week stint at parental leave and DS slowly reduced intake, reversed his feeding to night times and now refuses all bottles) and DH has tried comforting to sleep.
Easiest way to keep me and baby happy? BFing to sleep and co-sleeping. I haven't doubted it, but I get so many comments unsolicited advice about how to get him sleeping through (tried many approaches, non work), DH wants to be able to cuddle baby to sleep and feels rejected when I eventually BF DS to sleep. My MIL makes comments about wanting DS to take a bottle when she babysits (so I can get a break apparently). If other people would back off and leave me and DS to our routine, we would both be happy (admittedly I will still have tired days at work). I feel like there are so many societal pressures to get babies sleeping through so you can get on with your life but in reality BFing is natural and benefits both you and the baby (I fall asleep so quickly when I BF at night).