How do couples organise parenting at weekends?

[Rayner82]

Currently TTC so I know this is fairly premature but I'm interested in how other couples work out their weekend childcare routine (if / when breast feeding not an issue).

DH works extremely long hours during the week and we are both aware that majority of childcare will fall to me during the week (plus childcare with me working from home p/t), and that we will obviously both be knackered the whole time.

At weekends, how do couples manage looking after the DC? We have talked about each having a bit of time off where the other parent looks after DC by themselves, but also want time together as a family. I often see dads out with babies on a Sunday morning round my area - does this work? I'm conscious of finding a structure which helps us both feel supported and also both get that little bit of headspace. Also I know how lucky I am to have this option and a supportive DH.

Would be interested in knowing your weekend structure if you are part of a couple.

DH also works pretty long hours in the week, I only work one day. We have one DD aged 2.

We tend to just do everything together as a family at the weekend. Pottering & playing in the garden, dog walks, trips to the pub! (good food and lovely garden, DD loves it!), riding bikes to the park etc.

To be honest I don’t really feel like I want time on my own at the weekend as I want to see DH. It works for us to just do stuff all together.

When we just had one baby we played it by ear, eg. If I’d been up with her a lot in the night then after a feed DH would take her downstairs while I went back to sleep. Now we have two children (3.5 and 1.5) we tend to take turns having a ‘lie in’ (which is usually until about 8/8.30am!) while the other gets the children their breakfast and dresses them.
The rest of the weekend will depend on what we have on, but we will usually get a bit of alone time each, but that’s usually used for chores/DIY/errands rather than anything exciting!

We mostly do things as a family. Sometimes I work for a few hours and DH will take DD swimming.

We take it in turns to let each other have naps/ lie ins. One of us will play with DD while the other does the housework. We don’t socialise much separately which works for us.

It's totally shared. To be honest neither of us really do lie ins as we live in a small flat - usually DS will come into bed with us for an hour and watch his tablet. But neither of us would sleep much beyond 8.30ish if left to our own devices anyway, we are early risers.

Both of us are here on the weekend so we just stick together as a family.

It’s NOT too early to think about this and I commend you for discussing it with your DP.

If he works long hours during the week then you will be working long hours too caring for a newborn and recovering from the labour and birth ( and any injuries / surgery, like most first time mums).

So you need to share everything at the weekends - childcare, housework, shopping, cleaning etc. Do NOT fall into the trap of your Dp having a day off on Saturday to play sport / go to the pub and then have Sunday as your family day where you do things together. That way you get no day off and you will become exhausted and resentful.

Many men think that having a baby is a hobby that their partner has taken up and their lives will continue much as they have always done. This kind of selfishness is why many marriages fail.

Both parents need to sacrifice time and energy, not just the mum. Babies are wonderful but very hard work.

0lga - SO true.

What’s a weekend 😂
My child is 3.5 and my husband has worked shift work since before me being pregnant and I work from home in parts all through the day 7 days a week.
He has odd days off in the week that change every week but I’ll still be working so there is no ever any trade off of duties. We just work as a team constantly.
Really you need to see how you feel or how it works for your family further down the line as no one is the same 😀