Comfort breastfeeding / needs to stop

[Loulou85x]

Hi everyone, I wondered if you could help.
My daughter is nearly ten months old, I am still breastfeeding, she has cows milk allergy and it's ended up being easier me cutting it out and it's worked well.

However, she won't take a bottle but she will take some expressed milk from a cup.

My worry is she starts nursery next month but I am her complete comfort blanket at the moment. She only settles on me, feeds to sleep, wants to feed if she hurts herself etc, if she cries in the night etc her dad can't settle her. My worry is nursery is going to be horrendous so I want to try and break some of her habits now but I have no idea where to start it anyone could share any tips that would be great! Thanks so much xx

My DS was like this - wouldn't take a bottle, wouldn't sleep anywhere other than with me, couldn't be settled by anyone else. He had NEVER napped without being held.

I swear the nursery have some kind of magical drug in the air or something because even in his settling in sessions he was taking a bottle, napping in a cot (!!).

In all likelihood the nursery will work their magic. Just enjoy the time you have left and don't worry too much about breaking habits.

Hi Loulou has she taken a dummy atall or a pacifier ?

My ds is like this still (almost 18 months) but he can sometimes be more clingy when I'm there! He settles well for his dad when I'm working. They find a way that works for them and your son and his nursery workers will too. You'll worry either way though, blummin motherhood!

Oh and he should feed more when you return in the evening or at night to make up for not feeding in the day. Think it's called reverse cycling? x

@kellyw1989 no won't take a dummy, she just spits it out when she realises it isn't milk! Hahah!

@Divgirl2 oh really, that's good to know. I'm torn between do I let them figure it out or try and wean her off comfort feeds now. It's so difficult. I think she's getting a tooth also as is extra clingy!

@AquarianSquirrel I've heard of reverse cycling actually. Pray it works

Second the 'dont worry, childcare workers are magicians' opinion

My dd was a bit like this, she absolutely loved breastfeeding for some reason and I carried on til she was nearly 2.5, but when I went back to work she was ok at nursery. She got lots of cuddles, took a bottle happily enough and slept in their little cots. I wouldn’t really try to stop it yet as she is only little. What is she like when you’re not there? I would bet she will be fine cos you won’t be there, but will then want a feed and a cuddle the minute she sees you! Well I managed to get her in the car and home but then had to feed her straightaway. Worked out well for us.

Encourage cup drinking as much as you can but agree she is unlikely to need bf at nursery. It's not just the breast she wants it's you, so if you are not there she will accept the usual nursery tactics.

I also say trust in the magical childcare workers... Not sure what they have but magic is practically it

If you stop bf now she will lose that bit of comfort for when she's back at home and ready to reconnect with you.

Would you try to introduce a teddy to your bf sessions now that she can bring to Creche?

Nursery is a totally different environment, she'll learn different settling techniques. DS wasn't great at sleeping to any kind of schedule despite our best efforts, but nursery had him napping on cue within a week

I was in your position exactly, 10 month ols starting nirsru, cmpa, ebf, refused bottle and wasn't eating hardly any solids, wouldn't self settle, needed to be held for naps. Actually it was all fine, her key worker held her for naps, she didn't eat whilst there for the first few months but topped up with milk all night to make up for it - exhausting but it was all ok. I wouldn't bother doing anything to ease her in.

Okay great!! Thanks everyone

@Hippobag sounds like exact same situation! Hard work eh! Glad you got through it though. I'll just carry on as normal

I was the same as you.

One tip - when they come home from their first full day at nursery don't let them feed for too long (in my case my breasts were full and I just fed and fed him from both breast and he just threw up as had drunk too much - quickly learnt to give him from one - wait for 15mins or so - and then offer the other if he still wanted - but my son loves his milk).

I’m due to be in the exact same position in 7 weeks when to return to work, CMPA, bottle refuser who loves the boob.

The advice givens fantastic, she’s only done about 4 hours without me max so I’m really nervous too! Good luck and let us know if she ends up taking to it like a breeze

@thisusernameun thank you!! Did you have to pump in the day when you weren't together or did you just regulate? Unsure whether to try and give expressed milk to nursery or not? And well done, sounds like you figured it all out! Not easy I'm
Sure. Thanks x

@Wonderland18 I will keep you posted! It's daunting isn't it! I've left my little girl for the odd evening but she hasn't settled or had a nice time and I've had to come back early! Fingers crossed for nursery, will report back x

I never expressed and since my son was just 1 yo he has only ever drank water at nursery as he refuses all bottles etc. I quickly regulated.

I had this with DD, the first week at childminders was awful. She refused to eat anything there. But after a couple of days she started having a bottle of milk there (never had a bottle at home). After a week she was fine. She still breastfeeds loads when I'm not at work. I don't pump, but always feel quite full for the first couple of days after a holiday.

Has your LO started nursery yet? How did it go? I’ve been expanding my time away from my 10 month old bit by bit hoping she will take expressed milk somehow.. wee lady is determined though.

@Wonderland18 yes! She has started and she has just been fine without milk! Then has a mega feed when I pick her up and before bed. On the non nursery days she still feeds like a trooper though haha x

@Loulou85x aww that’s amazing news! Totally hoping my LO follows suit when I go back to work next week 👌🏻