Feel like I'm drowning today

[Tiredmummy224]

Hi mums
I just really need to have a little moan to someone but don't really have to who so I'm coming here
I'm a mum of two
One baby and one nearly 3 year old
We've all been down with a cold past few days so it's been really difficult and finally getting better but today I just feel like I've had enough and want to just lock myself in the bathroom to have few mins of silence.
I just feel feel like it's starting to get to too much right now.

I've not had proper sleep in months (and even less past few days) and I've not had a day off to just myself in over a year.
I don't really have any family help. I have a partner but he works long hours and by the time he comes home both kids are usually asleep.

At least when I've only had one Ive had few hours in the evening to myself but that's gone after baby arrived.

Nearly 3 year old is going through phase of waking up again from sleep so usually wakes up once to twice before I go bed and then again at some point at night.
Baby just refuses to settle in the evenings until 9-10pn and after hes finally asleep I just go bed coz I'm so exhausted and got night of wakings.

Since 7am wake up nealry 3 year old not stopped winging. I mean literally he's not been quiet for even 2 mind today or happy. And in between few tantrums. Baby has a bad day too and just cries and is unhappy when awake. Every time I finally get baby to sleep nealry 3 year old has a tantrum about something and wakes up the baby and when im trying to calm crying baby he is being silly and seems to be doing everything to wind me up today.

I just feel so angry and exhausted today. I just keep snapping and its only been 5 hours since we started the day :(

Sorry for being so moany and sounding horrible I just really needed to let it all out today

It is ok to feel like this. It is hard.

You say partner works long hours but you're working 24/7.... He needs to help you. Does he know how you feel?

I hear you!!

Similar situation here. Ds will be 2 in 2 weeks. Dd is 6 weeks. Superbly stressful last few weeks - mil visiting then ds sick with croup and off nursery then dh with a cold and now Dd. I’m just pushing through as much as I can but I’ve hit the wall today.

Dd sicked up on me and the bed at 745. Ds ran into the door. Catface brought something I thought was a mouse in (just a leaf). Dh took ds to nursery and went to work leaving me to deal.

Dd has cried pretty much non stop (except when she’s having her milk) and hasn’t napped. I need to sleep as am feeling rough too and have been awake since 3.

Today is our air display and we live near the airport. So it’s noisy.

I spoke to dh earlier (he called from work) and told him I just didn’t want to be on maternity leave any more. 😭 nothing he can do about it though.

I just need a break. And need Dd to nap so maybe I can have some sleep.

Sounds rubbish, no wonder you are exhausted and at the end of your tether

How old is your baby? Does your 3 year old do any kind of nursery/pre-school to lighten the load a bit?

When mine was little but old enough to be left with Dad, I packed off to a Premier Inn for one night of solace and sleep. It meant a lot.

@Harrysmummy246 he helps when he's home on the weekends
He cooks then and does most bits around toddler so I only have baby to worry about but during the week not much he can help with (sometimes he will wake up when baby is crying at night so he will take the baby and try to keep him calm so i can sort out a bottle) but he's always been deep sleeper and really hard to wake up so unless he wakes up by himself when baby is crying I don't bother to wake him because I can do it all quicker by myself than spend 20mins just trying to wake him

@ememem84 sounds like you have it just as stressful
It isn't easy being stay at home mum is it
I'm glad someone is In similar position to me
I was feeling like horrible mum today
And I really need some sleep too haha

@Newyearsameoldshit he is just coming to 8 weeks
He does but only 10 hours a week and had to miss one of his sessions this week and the other one he went to but 5 hours just went in a blink of an eye. Dropped him off came back home and entertained baby for a bit then had to go doctors for my check up. Baby fell alseep on the way there, after that stopped by shop came home and it was already 2 hours since dropping 3 year old off. Baby woke up a min after coming back so fed him and delt with the grumpiness. He was up for an hour then went sleep again. I had a cup of coffee and late breakfast finally and baby woke up. So it was entertaining baby and tidying up then time to feed baby and then off to pick up toddler so all in all I gotten around 30mins of peace.
I think on the weekend I will say to my partner I'm going out for an hour or two and leave him with them. He has Sunday off. I might just go to the park and sit there.
All I want is to just have some time by myself in complete silence

Oh blimey a proper baby baby then, little wonder you feel frazzled!
I think a couple of hours peace and quiet is just what you need, I hope you can make it happen!

In this situation, with husband away a lot with work, I finally embraced the CBeebies.

@Tiredmummy224 so tough! I’m lucky that ds is at nursery 3 days a week but last week was an absolute killer.

Today I’m having to rope in dmum to help me as ds has a swimming lesson. I have to be in the water with him. So need someone to watch Dd. Dm will come with us and has said she’ll treat us to lunch after.

I honestly don’t know how sahm do it. I really don’t. When I go back to work I’ll have both littlies on a Friday by myself. But full time stay home mum? Nope. Couldn’t do it. Fair play to any of you who donit full time. Absolute hero’s.

Hi, I completely understand what you are feeling. I have a 15 month old dd and a 2.5yr old ds.

At the moment my dd is going through some kind of sleep regression and dd is teething so sleep is a rarity around here. On top of that they are very very ACTIVE!

When they were smaller and now actually I tried to get out of the house whenever I could. Even just to get milk. It breaks up the day.

CBeebies on so you can have a 5 minute breather in the kitchen gulping your first hot drink of the day at lunchtime...

Now they are both walking I get them out doing stuff. I find them far more relaxed once they are tired!

It will pass, I promise it gets easier. Not fast, and not my much at a time but it does. You are not alone.

Today started on difficult note again because if the toddler
We've been up a lot last night cause he just kept waking up crying and winging but not wanting anything. Offered him milk thinking maybe hungry or thirty but refused it. Thought teething but nothing made a difference so crossed that option out. Offered him a cuddle but refused again and just kept lying there. After his fourth wake up in space of an hour and half I just snapped at him. I felt horrible afterwords but he actually stopped his crying then and went back sleep properly. Baby had difficult night too

So we all woke up at 8 today then toddler refused to take his milk or come over when I asked him to get dressed and change his nappy. He just kept standing there staring and me and moaning. In the end had to pick him up and put him on the bed to change him. This is just the kind of behaviours I can't stand. Refusing to do anything and moaning for no reason. Why does everything have to be so difficult and take so long with toddlers? I just don't have time for this when i have to get 3 of us ready for the day.
After that he refused to get of the bed and come downstairs with us so he's still sitting upstairs by himself winging but won't come downstairs.

I tried tv but doesn't work
He's not interested at all
He always has to be on the go doing everything 100miles an hour
No time for him to sit still

I try to get out with them but with everything lately being so hard and taking so long with toddler it's so off putting and feels like more effort than it's worth. Also he's in a phase of walking super slowly. 10mins walk around the park at normal slowish pace can take us over 30mins

Plus as we've been all down with a cold and weather was awful we've not been out much

I know it's a mission to get out but it's worth it. Toddlers are put on this earth to test us. Let go of anything that's not essential right now.

Tomorrow will be better.

He always has to be on the go doing everything 100miles an hour
No time for him to sit still

Yep.

Dm cane to our house with ddad today. Ddad came with me and ds to swimming. Dm stayed with dd. Ds was so good while we were changing before swimming. Then while we were waiting nicely for the previous lesson to finish. Literally as the previous group were coming out he made a bolt for the pool. Ran straight in. Off the side. He had floaties on so he didn’t panic too much. I just wasn’t quick enough to grab him. Ffs.

He seemed pleased with himself though. Bobbed up and said “again...?!” Little terror.

Funny now though. Although I had to apologise to the previous group. I apparently have that child.

Lunch was uneventful. He ate his fish and peas nicely. Exclaimed that ice cream was cold very loudly. 😂

He’s now gone off with dparents for a bit and I’m trying to convince Dd to nap. She’s not having any of it. Might have to persuade catface to snuggle against the Moses basket (which is bumped up against the bed). She leans against the side and purrs which seems to settle Dd. Must be the vibrations or something.

Sorry I've not been online past few days
Have been super chaotic days
And in all of this I forgot about babies jabs
Only after I got a text from our go practice about missed appointment I realised I completely forgot so feeling even worse

@EmmaJR1 that sounds about right
He used to be such an easy toddler until few months before baby was due I just don't know what happened

@ememem84 oh wow
My heart would of jumped out of my chest!
Well it did as we had a little accident
Partner was with a baby downstairs and toddler so I went upstairs to grab my bag
When I was coming down I noticed toddler was making his way up the stairs to follow me (partner thought he went upstairs with me at the start) so I told him I'm coming down so instead of focusing on turning around he and going dowstairs he started d
Turinging while watching me and slipped and fell. It was only gottom couple of steps so wasn't big fall or anything probs the same height as from sofa to the floor but made me feel even worse. First time had that happen
Trying to get kids to nap can be mission impossible

I was even looking into returning to work for about 12-14 hours a week just for some sanity but looking into it it doesn't even feel worth it. So restricted with hours employer's offer and nursery hours and I wouldnt want them all day at nursery coz think 10 hours is bit too long for baby without me but no one would take me for just 4 hours 2-3 mornings a week so I could fit it into just morning sessions at nursery and doing inbetween 6-7 hours shifts two days a week would mean having to pay for whole day at nursery for them and them being there 7-8 hours which I'm finding bit too long and I doing the calculations (counting in there the two mornings my toddler gets on funding and just paid afternoons for him and two full days for baby) I'd be losing money unless I could find a job within walking distance
So it just feels bit pointless and way more stress than it's worth

@Tiredmummy224 ds fell down the stairs a while ago. Our stairs are round the corner ones if you know what I mean. He fell from upstairs to the middle bit. 7 steps. It could have been worse. The crazy thing is I saw it happen. It happened in slow motion. And I couldn’t stop it. Just couldn’t move quickly enough. It was my fault for not closing stair gate. Ffs.

The swimming thing - well ds was excited about his lesson. The pool isn’t deep. 1.2m maybe. And he’s jumped in before and part of swimming lesson is us dunking him. But still. He’s never jumped in on his own. Without someone being there to catch him. I’d love to say he won’t do it again but....

I know the feeling, its hard to catch your breathe sometimes. you don't sound horrible. do you have family nearby who can help just to give you a few hours break?

When mine were this age, DH used to get up with the toddler first thing, take the baby and go out, leaving me to sleep on my own for a bit. Used to happen at the weekends. COuld your DH not do this?

I am a little bit at the impossble to wake DH too, if he really can't wake in the night he should definitely step up at weekends and take on both children to give you a break.

@ememem84 makes me feel bit better it's not just mine that fell down the stairs
Must of gave you a huge fright! Toddlers are so unpredictable

@Newmummysu unfortunately not
My parents life 5 hours drive away and still work
My partners parents are 2 hours down the road and retired so not too bad but his mum is ill so his dad is her carer atm so they can't help with kids

@humphreycobblers other half is usually out of the house by 6am
Toddler doesn't wake up till 7am usually and baby likes to sleep in till 7-8am as well.
When our toddler was a baby and he didn't leave till 8am he used to take him out in the pram everymorning so I got to sleep in now there isn't much point coz baby sleeps longer than toddler and once I wake up in the morning coz I hear toddler first I can't get back sleep anymore
He used to be like that before we had kids
If I ever needed him to wake up at night it was a mission and as baby usually now wakes up once to sometimes twice at night I can do it all quicker myself than wait for him to wake up while trying to calm screaming baby and then for him to realise realise what's going on and sort out the feed etc
I tried it before and he did do some night feeds but by the time he woke up fed the baby etc I was wide awake so I stopped as it takes me way less time to just do it myself at get back into bed when I'm still half asleep
He started work bit later this week so he woke up and got the toddler ready and to nursery on his two days and went work from there so I got to lie around in bed with a book before baby woke up