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Original poster

How to help DD(5) stop talking

23 replies

Spanneroo · 12/09/2019 10:56

DD has always been a very sociable, chatty, outgoing child. Not a shy bone in her body, and will talk to anyone about anything.

She's just started year one and she is already getting in trouble for talking constantly, which is stopping her from listening and following instructions, and interrupting her (and others) learning.

I was worried this might be an issue, as she barely stopped for breath all summer, and it's been difficult for her to focus long enough to listen to instructions from me and DH (let alone follow them). We've reminded her constantly that she needs to stop and listen sometimes, we have also tried a reward chart, but it has made absolutely no difference.

Has anyone had a similar issue with their DC? Please tell me how you tackled it! I'm at a loss as to what to do!

OP posts:
Harrysmummy246 · 12/09/2019 11:24

Stop reminding her- it'll become noise that gets tuned out.
Let her get into trouble a bit and that's probably a consequence that might help

Sit and wait for her. Don't try to interrupt her- that's what you're telling her not to do after all!

mankyfourthtoe · 12/09/2019 11:28

Argh it's so annoying as a teacher to have a bright bubbly child who hasn't listened to a word you've said.
Read her a story and ask her questions.
Play the jelly bean game, it's a pe warm up game that needs to be listened to and you can make it quick.
Tbh she might have to get in 'trouble' before she starts to learn.

Original poster
Spanneroo · 12/09/2019 11:50

I expect youre both right in that she needs to get into trouble a bit, I just really feel for her when she's had a bad day because she's seemingly unable to be quiet for more than about 10 seconds. She was the only child in the whole class who finished the day in the "warning zone" on Tuesday and she was so upset with herself...but she got in trouble again yesterday! We've never had any issues with her behaviour at school before so I think it's really new to her to be singled out for misbehaving, as she sees herself as a good girl (which she is, she just makes so much noise!)

harrysmummy I'd love to wait for her to finish every time, but I am not exaggerating when I say she will go for hours without a break in the verbal diarrhoea. I can't not interrupt her or I'd never get anything done! We tried holding a hand up to talk, to signal that she needs to wrap it up, and it worked for about half a day before she went back to constant inane chattering, regardless of what else was going on!

I can only imagine how awful it is for her poor teachers!Blush

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Original poster
Spanneroo · 12/09/2019 11:51

Manky do you mind elaborating on the jelly bean game?

OP posts:
DementorsKiss · 12/09/2019 11:58

could there be something she is sensitive too - DSS would get very very hyper if he had dairy lee cheese triangles

ChicCroissant · 12/09/2019 12:01

I think I've said before that there is a child like this in one of my DD's after-school activities and she gets it from one of her parents. Is your DD modelling behaviour she has seen somewhere else, and have the teachers made any suggestions on how to tackle it?

MarigoldGlove · 12/09/2019 12:04

Try asking her to tell you things that she knows in three sentences.

So Cinderella
Cinderella lived with her mean stepsisters
Her fairy godmother came and sent her to the ball
Then she married the Prince.

How do we get to school
We walk past the post box
We go through a field
Then we go round the corner.

It barely matters what is in the sentences. What is included and what is missed out is not important. It’s to get her thinking about what she says.

mankyfourthtoe · 12/09/2019 13:52

www.teachingideas.co.uk/warm-up-ideas/beans-activity

Original poster
Spanneroo · 12/09/2019 14:04

chic me and OH are both pretty quiet people, and her younger sister is also more of a do-er than a talker. People are forever asking us what we did to get her so confident chatting to strangers etc. and I have to admit I have no idea every time! She has always been very communicative and sociable. It's just how she's made. Which has been fine up until recently where it's now impacting on others.

The teacher is new to teaching this year and he hasn't been too helpful, to be honest. He says she does very well in a 1 to 1 setting, but obviously this isn't possible very often. He's happy to wait and see if she settles, but in the meantime, she's going to get told off a lot, it seems.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spanneroo · 12/09/2019 14:07

Marigold we have had some success with a similar strategy, where we'd ask her to stop as soon as she starting babbling, to take a minute to think about what she wanted to say before she said it. It worked quite well for a while, and she does still stop herself in conversations where she realises she's babbling, and not getting her point across. But it's like she needs to fill every single quiet moment with chatter, so most of the time when she doesn't need something from the conversation, she's just filling the gap with rubbish.

I might take to doing the 3 sentences stories a few times a day to focus her and see if that helps.

OP posts:
mankyfourthtoe · 12/09/2019 14:09

Ask him what he's putting in place to help her.
Is it on the carpet she's a problem? Then can she be next to him so he could tap her shoulder, he can carry on teaching then.
Is it at the tables, is she sat with friends or would she talk to anyone?
Can she have a timer on her desk and she has to go and show how much work she's done when it's finished.

Sadly it is his job to put strategies in place for her.

HumphreyCobblers · 12/09/2019 14:13

I would brainstorm ideas on how to help her stop. Do it together, write everything down. Discuss together and come up with a strategy. She might well surprise you with her inventiveness. A suggestion coming from her might well be the thing that works too.

Original poster
Spanneroo · 12/09/2019 15:36

Thank you for that Manky. It gives me something to go off when I speak to him. I was expecting to be able to follow his lead when he spoke to me on Tuesday.

She's chatty with absolutely anyone, any time. Sitting beside him on the carpet might be a good idea, for sure. She doesn't want to get into trouble, so I'm sure a shoulder tap to remind her will help. I'll arrange a chat with him tomorrow after school and bring up some of those ideas.

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mankyfourthtoe · 12/09/2019 17:20

Tbh, he should be coming up with the ideas, but definitely have them if he just says she needs to stop talking.
She's just a little girl with lots to say and needs to learn when to talk and when not to talk and sadly playtimes might be missed if she's not finishing work etc

Original poster
Spanneroo · 12/09/2019 18:10

Manky Yes, missing playtime is a big concern of mine actually, as she needs that time to decompress, so will struggle more without it. They've been a bit gung ho with removing playtime from some of the children this week IMO (DD has managed to narrowly avoid so far) and it's made me anxious to help her improve quickly!

Thank you so much for your help and suggestions. I feel much better about it now than I did this morning.

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mankyfourthtoe · 12/09/2019 19:12

Good luck. Let us know how you get on

rarejuicegoose · 12/09/2019 19:29

My ds is exactly like this. And he goes on for hours! (Not exaggerating).

He is currently on a waiting list to be tested for a multitude of things but it all seems to be pointing to adhd.

I have also noticed he is much worse when he is anxious and talks about everything expect what is making him anxious. It's like he tries to block out what's bothering him with noise.

But it is constant, sometimes asking him to take a breath helps and we do some children's yoga (just watch and copy off YouTube on the tv) which really seems to help him.

Maybe have a look into some mindfulness techniques for children?

rarejuicegoose · 12/09/2019 19:32

Btw my suggestions are just what works for us at home. His school recognise that he is not trying to disrupt anyone intentionally but that he almost have no control over it. Having good communication with the teacher is key and I it doesn't sound like punishing her for it works so they needs to help her learn new techniques and ways of communicating when in a large group of people

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 12/09/2019 19:49

I second the ADHD idea.
I was like that when I was her age - I was labelled as basically 'an annoying person'. I had to learn the hard way and without help to shut up and to better keep myself to myself.
DD was like that, too, only she got an early diagnosis and learned why she did it and what to do instead.

Original poster
Spanneroo · 16/09/2019 14:29

Just a little update, DD has a different (more experienced) teacher on a Friday, who I spoke to about the issues we've been having. She actually seemed to disagree that it was much of an issue with DD, although she is one of the chattier children in the class.

She said she gets on with the work when she needs to, just needs to allow other children to do the same, and that she does need a few reminders on the carpet sometimes. Friday's teacher gives her something to fiddle with if she's struggling to sit quietly and listen, and has found it works well to keep her focus. She's asked that Mon-Thu teacher does the same. I will speak to them again later in the week to see if things improve.

I mentioned this to my mum over the weekend actually, and she was suddenly reminded that my brother was like this in year 1 as well, and it's exactly the strategy they used to help him focus back then, too!

OP posts:
rarejuicegoose · 16/09/2019 14:56

That's great news @Spanneroo it sounds like she needs support in school which this teacher is giving her

CadburysCremeSmeggs · 16/09/2019 15:09

Stop her from talking? Why? She is a child, let her be one instead of shutting her up.

GarlicMonsterMunch · 16/09/2019 15:31

Try reading the thread.

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