New mom struggling

[Louisbeau]

I'm a first time mom of a lovely little boy. He is 3.5 months and has never slept well. He sleeps at night but is up every 2 hours and it's hard to resettle him at times. Naps okay but needs to be held and rocked to sleep. During the day when he is awake he just wants to be held, I can't put him down without him screaming. He is also going through a fussy stage and only wants to be soothed and rocked to sleep by me and not my partner and he cries if anyone else holds him as well. He also can go from 0 to 100 in terms of being upset and crying. I love him so much but I'm exhauasted, ive not had a proper sleep since he was born, the longest sleep I had was around 4 hours and that was a month ago. I'm also feeling really sad and alone and I have bad anxiety, I'm constantly worried how each night will be with him.

I feel like I just need someone to say that it will get better or easier. Has anyone had a baby like this? If so how did you cope?

My baby boy was exactly like this!!! I remember thinking I'm never ever going to get anything done, he needs cuddles 24/7!!! He's now 7 months and it's far easier 💜 key to survival for us was him going on formula, meant his dad and grandad could take him and give me a break. I promise it gets easier though xxx

Just another point: I'd recommend going out for a break and leaving him with partner - it's hard first time but he has to learn to settle with others or you will completely burn out xxx

Sorry you're going through this OP. Baby not sleeping can be so frustrating and exhausting.

My DS is 5 months now and we went through a horrible sleep regression around the same age as your baby. He wouldn't sleep without being rocked to sleep by me or DH and would wake up as soon as we put him down and even if he stayed asleep he woke up every 45 mins or so and had to be resettled.

What we did was introduced 'helpful' sleep aids. Rocking him to sleep wasn't helping anyone and I actually think we were annoying him in hindsight.

So we started a proper bedtime routine of pajamas, feed, soother and white noise. Hadn't used white noise before then and we also have him a comforter to hold and he loves it. We take the comforter away around 5 mins after he is fully asleep at night but leave it with him for naps because I'm watching.

It took around 2 weeks of perseverance but really was worth it. I didn't let him cry, just reassured him without picking him up during that time. Held his hand, spoke calmly and kept the sleep aids going.

Now I put him down for a nap or bed and walk away while he puts himself to sleep within 5 mins and it's amazing.

Any questions feel free to ask

It really does get better, hang in there!

Have you tried a sling? My little one was quite happy in his whilst I managed to get some jobs done round the house.

Another thing that worked for us was an electric baby swing / vibration chair. He was quite happy in there and it rocked him off to sleep.

My first was like this. It definitely gets better. She's now a very bright funny little 2 year old who sleeps through the night.

She did have bad reflux and woke up every 20minutes or so for at least the first 6 months. I really genuinely thought I was going to die of sleep deprivation. It was hell.

My best advice is do whatever you can to make life easier. Put him in a sling during day, sleep when he sleeps, look into safe Co-sleeping etc etc. Drop any housekeeping standards until things settle down.

My mums advice was as long as everyone is fed and no one is dead take it as a win for the day.

It will be OK.
You will get through this.

Thanks so much for your responses and kind words ladies, it's nice to know others have been through this xxxxx

I had one like this! It was SO so hard. And I felt so useless and lonely because nobody else's baby seemed so hard and all the standard baby advice just didn't work. People would say "don't go rushing in at every little whimper" and I'd think, what on earth is a 'little whimper' and where do you get one of those babies that let you leave the room in the first place?

I found this really useful: www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/fussy-baby/high-need-baby/12-features-high-need-baby Also we co-slept (took a side off the cot and attached it to the bed) and used slings loads. During really rough times we'd take the nights in shifts, so we'd know we'd each get at least an uninterrupted stretch while the other one was on duty.

If I were you I'd keep working on having your partner settle him for naps - they'll find their own pattern after a while, and it probably won't be the same way you get him down for naps. (My DH used to dance the baby round in a sling to the same song on repeat.)

It did get easier in the end. And once she learned to crawl she no longer wanted to be held all the time - she just zoomed off without looking back!