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'I don't love you'

31 replies

1029384756b · 11/09/2019 21:13

Nc for this.
My dd (4) is an amazing kid, kind and funny and so smart but she's had quite a temper from being little. Iv dealt with this using the naughty step and explaining why we don't do naughty things and always ended the time out with a hug and kiss.
Today she got cross (overtired) and shouted 'I don't love you mummy'
It floored me, she's never heard me or her dad say anything like that to each other or anything like that, shes not repeating it from anything she's heard at home.
She's my eldest child so every stage she goes through is new to me but I didn't think kids said things like that until they were in their teens?
Anyone know if this is normal?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
corythatwas · 11/09/2019 23:05

This is a conversation between me and my then 2yo (can't remember what I had done to offend her):

dd: I don't love you, I don't want you for a mummy.

me: That doesn't matter because I love you and I will always be your mummy.

dd: Not when I'm grown up!

me: Yes, even when you're grown up. You may move away from home, you may go and live in a house of your own, but I will still be your mummy and I will still love you.

dd (with enormous emphasis): No! YOU'LL BE DEAD THEN!

This was 20 years ago, dd and I are very close, and I have absolutely no intention of kicking the bucket.

Her 2yo verbal development was simply far more advanced than her emotional development, she had no idea what being dead really meant or how she would feel if something happened to me. She just said something that sounded very impressive to her, and I reassured her that I could handle the situation and that there was no risk that my love or my grown-up ability to deal with her would wobble.

Her emotional development has caught up since. Grin

Mammajay · 11/09/2019 23:12

My son at 4-5 would tell me horrible things he wanted to do to me when I made him mad. He is now a grown up loving son. Parenthood is can be confusing at times!

Rachelover60 · 12/09/2019 01:21

Yes, it's normal. She doesn't mean it, she's just annoyed. It will pass.

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DramaAlpaca · 12/09/2019 01:27

Totally normal. A bit of a shock to the system when they say it, but normal.

MrsTishellsNeckBrace · 12/09/2019 02:33

It’s a milestone - just not a cute one. Yes to telling them you still love them and will always be their Mummy or Daddy etc it’s an incontrovertible fact to blow their little brain boxes. As they got older and used to write me notes I used to mark it for spelling errors and give it back to them. Gold star if all correct - sometimes I popped it on the fridge like a work of art - it’d disappear pretty pronto.

pumkinspicetime · 12/09/2019 02:53

So so normal.
It gets repeated in different forms on and off throughout childhood.
Endless parent repetition of I love you, always will.
I'm guessing they grow out of it eventually? Still in tween years.

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