Weaning toddler from breastfeeding

[momo01]

I've been trying (and failing) to wean my 17-month old from breastfeeding for months now. It's got to the point where I'm really unhappy with our arrangement, and I'd like to make a concerted effort to cut down.

I work part-time. On the days I'm at work, I breastfeed DD as a minimum: on wake-up, when I get home from work, before bed, and a couple of times overnight. On the days I'm home, it's all the above plus whenever she's peckish, bored, tired, on public transport, etc.

I try saying no and distracting - with food, toys, game - or reasoning with her, but it does not work. When she wants to breastfeed, she wants to breastfeed, and nothing will deter her. The biggest tantrums ensue if I refuse.

I'd ideally like to reduce to two times a day, on waking and before bed. But if this is confusing and I'm better off going cold turkey, that's ok too. I'm just incredibly drained by constantly feeding. I want to be able to play with her and cuddle without her asking for milk every 10 mins.

Can anyone help?

Anyone please?

Have you found the Kelly Mom website, or the Feeding Older Babies and Beyond and The Leaky Boob Facebook pages? They would all offer advice and support.
It's really tough, some days I felt like I couldn't sit down without being pounced on.
There's so much going on growth wise with little toddlers - teething, becoming verbal etc. I didn't wean either of mine as toddlers, but had stopped night feeds by 2.

Mine is 3.5 years and still breastfeeds/suckle when she's feeling ill. She was a very determined breastfeeder and did not want to stop.

How we got to stop the night feeds were to completely remove myself from the bedtime routine... DH bathed her, read stories and settled her. She had some cows milk for a moo cup ( Aldi one which she loves) though not always. I now read stories and get her ready for bed and she no longer asks to breastfeed.

Morning are always busy with getting ready for nursery and we offer cows milk soon after she wakes up and sometimes distract her with a toy/ peppa pig tv until she gets dressed.

We travel long haul often and she used to breast feed hours on end but in the last year has not been interested.. I've taken lots of toys and books along for her.

She still breastfeeds on occasion and I don't forcibly stop her.

It's been a gradual process and I can honestly say I very much dislike breastfeeding and glad I don't have to do it so frequently.

Hope this helps.

Day and night weaning were very separate for us

He basically day weaned himself as food was almost as interesting and could be diverted with cows milk. That was around 18 mo

Night weaning was a lot of preparation in terms of talking about it and reading a book nightly, trying to countdown for delatching then offering a cuddle first which was sometimes accepted before we went for it around 21 mo and he stopped asking in 3 nights hardly any fuss. I still bedshared etc though- he just does not accept DH as an alternative and I cannot be in the house with the ensuing tears, plus it felt like removing everything about our relationship overnight was a bigger wrench.

Bedtime feed was last to go about 6 weeks later as he'd been more and more distracted and eventually I'd had enough of the boobgymnastics so said it was finished. Fine after 30 seconds, more upset we weren't reading him the right book.

Thank you everyone. I have of course googled and also tried LLL - the trouble is, DD seems particularly attached to breastfeeding, more so than the average baby, and LLL is biased towards being baby-led and extended feeding. Nothing wrong with this approach, except I'm really done with breastfeeding in the current form.

My 19 month old is a determined breastfeeder too.

Can you prioritise the changes that are most important to you to start with,

For example... Not feeding outside the house, have snacks and distractions at the ready, and be firm that breastfeeding is only for home. But let her carry on feeding on demand when home.

Then once you have tackled that think about the next most important thing to you and tackle that, and so on until you find a happy state for you (or wean completely).

I am out of the house for work for around 14 hours one day a week, so dd is understandably clingy the day after. If we hang about the house on those days she is a nightmare, so I always have activities out of the house planned, and whilst she is still clingyer than usual she doesn't want constant boob!

That's a great idea @Cyw2018 re doing one thing at a time. I think I'll try cutting out breastfeeding out of the house first as you suggest. So on my day off and at the weekend, we are out ALL THE TIME. Like truly, even when it's torrential, we still manage a trip or two to an indoors play area or shops or a play date.

The biggest problem is when we're on public transport and she sits on my lap. She will pull at my top and scream like a banshee until I give in. This is particularly difficult to manage when I'm on my own. Is the answer to keep offering snacks and gently saying no?

I would offer any distraction that works, just while you break the habit, so snack, drink or your phone. Tell her no and that she can have some at home. The language comprehension explosion at this age is amazing, so even if she doesn't understand what you are saying this week she might do next week!

Yes, I wouldn't recommend LLL as although they do phenominal work, and have basically stepped in where I am to cover funded breastfeeding support, they definitely wouldn't encourage weaning at such a relatively tender age.
The only solution I can think of to stopping her wanting to feed on the bus is to stand up and maybe the distraction and motion would delay things a bit. Or walk!