Is parenting just this hard or do I need help?

[Twotwo]

Hello.

I am at SAHM mum to 2.2 year old twins. They are amazing funny and at times crazy! I really love them and enjoy spending my time with them. My DH works full time so all of the childcare falls to me. I do all the organising when it comes to the children. He is pretty hands on when he is at home and does his fair share of the housework too.
Why do I find parenting so hard? I’m finding this stage even harder than 2 newborns. I am an anxious person anyway but just find everything so stressful, between trying to get them to nap, hoping they eat enough, are entertained enough etc. My boys are into everything and At this age it’s hard getting out with them as they are running in different directions and no longer want to be in the pram.
My husband thinks I need to seek professional help. I’m not sure if I do. A family day out for my causes major stress from before we even go out but I do enjoy it when we are there.
We also argue a lot because I don’t think my husband appreciates all I do and is just so used to be having everything planned and sorted that he doesn’t even realise the work that went into it.
I suppose what I’m trying to get at is- is this just parenting toddlers? Or does it sound like my stress/anxiety is a bit more than normal? At the minute I feel like my anxiety is taking over the enjoyment of parenting.

Thanks

I think your DH should take a week off and exclusively care for the twins morning until night.

You’ll see what he says then.

Yes parenting is bloody hard.

A colleague of mine had twin boys. She belonged to a club or similar for parents of multiples. Maybe there is one in your area, or even an online forum for tips etc.

Op. Twins are really really hard work. It needs a huge amount of energy and time to do the smallest things. If you are getting out for outings you are doing really well. When mine were that age they pretty much broke me. I remember feeling the same as you have described. I have no family around to help so I organised 2 days emergency child care and I got a parenting consultant to give me advice.

You say that you have family and support but do you have a full fixed day every week when someone else takes them? You need that to have a mental and physical break.

My twins are nearly 13 now. Old enough for me to leave them on their own but for a while when it gets too much.

2 year olds are hard I have 23 months between mine and really struggled when they were toddlers. Unfortunately my husband has never done anything to do with childcare he is an excellent homemaker he keeps the house and garden pristine I have never had a night away from the kids such as a break away with friends (they often go on sleepovers now) as hubby wont look after them. BUT kids are now 11 and 13 and this stage is way harder than the toddler years. I hate it and feel.like I am failing you are battling against social.media having to deal with friendship issues raging hormones and the loss of your evening!!! It does get better when they are 6 and 7 they are more independent and not hormonal and still go to bed at a reasonable hour I am really struggling at the moment as I find myself staying up till 1am to actually get some me time and some peace and quiet and I am exhausted as up at 630am but is worth it to just be able to sit down quietly and read or watch TV!!

I have two sons, two years and two months between them. I work on daily basis. I had No help. So l used myself, if l am tired they Are. I am very slow work too. The point lam trying to make is. People Worry too much!! Just take it one day at a time. Your own Time. And just Enjoy yourself. They would be 14,and you would ask yourself where did the time go!!. Are this my!!?. Ask for If you need it. Never be ashamed to ask for help. Please Never worry about what people would think or say. If Not your face. You Never hear. Enjoy, enjoy.wow = mumxxx

I found newborn harder than terrible twos I have now 12 year old twins and a singleton on the way 😂 it does get easier and harder in other ways- good luck teenage years suck

Don't think it's helpful people on here talking about how teenagers are worse etc. The op is asking for help with her toddlers so we should be offering advice with that surely?

Op I have a 2 year old. And I've had threads on here begging for help coping. What you are feeling is so so normal. You just need to ensure you get a break from it all every now and then to regain some sanity!!!

As others say it depends how your anxiety manifests itself.

Say you're going on a family trip tomorrow.

Totally normal- to check the weather, look up the place online and see if they have a cafe, playground, toilet, look in the cupboards to see if you have stuff for a packed lunch. Check your bag has nappies, change of clothes.

Not normal- lying awake at night because you are thinking about what could go wrong. Not being able to eat properly and relax the night before.

I think that the "totally normal" person is used to the mental load of going out and probably has had "disasters" in the past so is planning ahead.

The "not normal" person should talk to their GP as their anxiety is sky high.

You sound totally normal imo. Sometimes I wish I could turn back time and spend time with the kids when they were younger but I wouldn't pick age 2.

Your h is cheating if he has his sister's help when you go out. If he had say a week on his own, he'd appreciate how much mental energy it takes looking after 2 year olds. Even a trip to the supermarket (where he has to buy say 3 days worth of food that he planned for) is hard and time consuming.

You sound like you're doing a great job with your twins. I found one at a time hard enough!