Giving pictures to distant family

[aeioudtahb]

Hi. Im looking for advice. How does everyone feel about sending pictures of their kids to family members? I'm having an issue atm with an aunt of mine. I'm quite a private person and very strict about my son being on social media. To the point where there is no evidence i have kids on any of mine or familes social media. However an aunt of mine is currently traveling the world and keeps asking me to send her pictures of my son. There are two issues in this for me firstly sending the pics on social media via unsafe devices and secondly my relationship with her. She is my mams sister, however i dont have a relationship with her. As a child i seen her once possibly twice a year, the same for my son (who doesn't know her name nevermind what she looks like). She never makes an effort to even try create a relationship even when we do see her theres no playing with her or anything. She seems to think giving my son presents is enough. I just cant understand why i should be forced to send her pics of a child she really doesn't know and he doesn't know her. Am i being unfair not wanting to send her any? Thanks

You're free to do absolutely whatever you want and set your own boundaries.

sending the pics on social media via unsafe devices

I was mainly curious about this. What would you class as a safe device?

You don't have to send pics if you don't want to.

Personally I wouldn't put up walls between my children and other relatives for not being "good enough". I'd send her a few photos. You seem to want to make a statement by refusing but really it's using your child as a pawn.

I'm with Sula

Your Aunt sends your dc presents, but you aren't prepared to send her a photo ?

What exactly do you think is going to happen to your child, btw, if you send a nice, smiling photo to your Aunt via whatsapp or e-mail ?

What is the big deal about sending a photo. And what could possibly happen if the child was put on social media?

From the other side - I find the above jinking really bizarre, and rude.

I have a cousin in another country that I only see once every two years. Last year, I asked him how his Christmas was, and he sent me a photo of him, his wife, and their two yesr old daughter.

He then said , "Don't put the photo of my daughter on social media".

I thought that this was so rude! And also, cocky and arrogant in the assumption.

Why on earth would I put a photo of my cousin's child on my social media. My life does not revolve around her. It seems like some parents think that if they send a photo of their child, people will instantly rush to put that child on all social media. It is very strange!

That also reminds me of another time. I was sitting in a restaurant reading a book on my phone. A father at the table opposite me came over to my table , and said "do not take photos of my daughter". I looked at him with utter astonishment.

Some parents seem to really overestimate other people's interest in their darling child!

I have family all over and share photos on my (private) social media accounts. But if there was someone I didn’t want to share with, I would just say so. ‘We don’t really feel comfortable sharing photos via email/WhatsApp/Instagram whatever, but I would be lovely to see you one day when you’re home’ and then just ignore further attempts to engage.