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Original poster

Am I mad? 9-10 year age gap between babies

20 replies

CoffeeAddict26 · 07/09/2019 09:48

For ages I was sure I was absolutely done with having babies, I had a terrible pregnancy and delivery with my first and ended up being a single mum for years, when I met my husband he was also unsure if he ever wanted kids so we settled as just a family of 3 and that was it... until a couple of months ago we are getting niggling feelings of wanting a baby, I still have my mirena coil in so need that removed first but if we were to start trying soon we are looking at my son being 9 or 10 when baby comes. Does anyone have children with the age gap? I'm am insane to consider doing baby stuff all over again?

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Ohwhocares · 07/09/2019 12:25

If you and your DH are broody, I'd say why not TTC and see what happens? If it's meant to be it will be 😊 it's not the biggest gap, there's 13 years between my brother and me, (diff mums) and it's lovely to have an older and wiser big brother ime. It shouldn't hold you back, if your family is ready for a new arrival then why not go for it? If you're worried about the delivery maybe chat to your GP, (we had a terrible emergency CS so we have to have a three year gap, then consultant care) , but have a word with the docs, if they're happy for you to try, then that's a good sign? Hth?

InsertFunnyUsername · 07/09/2019 12:51

I don't see the issue with the age gap if you want more children? Normally you hear from people that dont want more kids, that they would hate to go back to baby stage when their child is more independent. But that doesn't seem to apply to you.

There is a 12 year gap between me and my sister (me being older) and I adore her, and its lovely to remember her crawling etc adds to the bond, for me anyway. I'm sure someone will come along and say it was the worst thing they done etc.

Pandamodium · 07/09/2019 12:55

I have a 7 year and 5 year gap between the three of mine it's great.

I know some like to get the "two under two" thing done but in my case it's worked well my teen dotes on her younger siblings and my 7 year old loves her baby/toddler brother.

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Original poster

CoffeeAddict26 · 07/09/2019 13:01

got an appointment in a couple of week for my annual coil check up but gonna see what she says about possibility of removal , no harm in trying right? just thinking of teenager and terrible twos at same time will be one hell of a struggle lol

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userabcname · 07/09/2019 13:11

There's 11 years between my brother and I - it's fine! Go for it and good luck.

tommycockles · 07/09/2019 13:25

I'm an only child and I hate it. A big age gap sibling to chat to now I am adult would be lovely.

The age may matter in the short term but in the long term probably not.

Herefortheduration · 07/09/2019 13:37

I know quite a few with that gap, they're all fine and dandy, go for it

Original poster

CoffeeAddict26 · 07/09/2019 13:43

Thanks all for the positive comments. I'm one of 3 myself and we were all within 5 years so don't have experience with big age gaps. My husband is an only child and hates it. So yeah hopefully dr will just take it out and see how it goes, maybe i'll have some happy news in a few months

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HugoSpritz · 07/09/2019 13:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohwhocares · 07/09/2019 14:02

It might be stressy on one hand, on the other some times it can help the teens, giving them a bit of a role helping out helps them take their minds off the anxiety and stress of being in the teen stage (exams, peers etc) and the toddler can see other fam members have needs so helps them to understand how to share a bit/wait etc. Also practically means mummy can enjoy guilt free baby snuggles while the older one is at school, then the teen gets some me time with mum later when the little one is in beddybyes.

Doyoumind · 07/09/2019 14:05

I think it's a different kind of sibling relationship but a good one and not that uncommon now with people having second marriages and families etc.

AlbusSeverusMalfoy · 07/09/2019 15:09

10 years between my DCs. Same parents. They adore each other. They argue. But they wouldn't be without each other.

HopefulFor2020 · 07/09/2019 15:23

I'm doing it now. My ds will be just about to turn 10 when this one is born. Haven't actually told him about the new baby yet and I know he's not going to be thrilled but hoping he'll come around to the idea

Original poster

CoffeeAddict26 · 07/09/2019 15:29

@Hopefulfor2020 It might be a struggle at first because the older child is used to all the attention but I'm sure he will come round to eventually. I am interested to see how it goes.

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ChicCroissant · 07/09/2019 15:51

My mother had much younger half-siblings (much bigger gap than you are suggesting) and had left home before they were born. Her siblings felt more of a connection to her than she did to them tbh, but they thought she was a cool older sister!

The people I know with siblings of a similar age gap - one gets one really well and the other is not so close but in both cases the older one had left home in late teens/early twenties so didn't spend that much time together.

How do you think your DS would feel about it, though?

Original poster

CoffeeAddict26 · 07/09/2019 16:58

I'm sure he will be fine. He's been asking for a sibling for ages but it was something I was never considering. I understand they will only have around 8-10 years together before my oldest goes off on his own. Of course there will be difficulties along the way but I mostly only see positives as adults they will have each other and might be more close at say 20 and 30 than newborn and 10

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jelly79 · 07/09/2019 21:11

I have a 15 year gap between mine and it works brilliantly!

Jaffacakebeast · 07/09/2019 21:23

God no, I couldn't imagine nappies and sleepless nights again, and just as your childcare need is dwindling

doublebarrellednurse · 07/09/2019 21:25

I'm pregnant with my second

My son is 13

I'm mad too 😂

Original poster

CoffeeAddict26 · 09/09/2019 16:19

So glad to hear other people are also in this situation, all my friends had their kids in short gaps so they can't really help. It will be a few months yet before TTC cos need coil removed first but excited to see what future holds, good luck to you guys who are expecting. Would be interesting to follow your journeys

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