Does this make me a bad mother?

[YorkshireLass321]

My DP’s parents moved abroad not long after we got together and he is originally from the south west so about 5 hours from where I lived and he moved to.
His parents are coming over but his brother wanted to see them, but couldn’t get the time off work. They suggested they land at the airport near where his brother lives and me, DP and DS (who’s 2) travel the 5 hours and stay with them at his brothers house for 5 days then the 5 of us travel back up to our house so they can spend the remainder of the week at our house before flying home from the airport closet to us.
To be honest I didn’t want to do that. I hate being away from home, and feel uncomfortable staying at other people’s houses. I would much rather stay at home and get the house in order ready for them coming.
My cousin was shocked I’m letting DS go without me, but it’s his dad and I know his parents would bad mouth me big time if I stopped him going.
Am I a bad mother for not going with them?

Closest to us not closet!

Of course you aren’t a bad mother for not going with them! There is nothing at all wrong with what you’re suggesting. Your DD will probably have a great time too.

DS, not DD

Of course you’re not. He is going with his father not a stranger!

there's nothing wrong with it, but personally I wouldn't like to be so long away from DD, and I'd like to go.

Do you never go on holiday?

Of course not! - I would do the same.

Thank you everyone. It was my cousins shocked reaction and her saying there would be no way she would allow it that made me feel a bit like there’s something wrong with me for either not going or allowing it.
We’ve only been on UK holidays since DS has been born as that’s when I seemed to get worse with my anxiety and it’s worse when I’m out of my comfort zone. I’m better when we stay in hotels as we have a base to go back to and be alone but I hate staying at others houses and the constant having to be on edge almost and worrying about when you need the toilet!

This is absolutely fine and sensible. I think it's lovely for children to have one on one time with their fathers actually. I don't know your situation obviously, but ime it's often hard for dads to get time alone with their kids without mum breathing down their necks all the time lol.

Enjoy a bit of peace and quiet, get the house looking lovely and be all rested and ready to entertain when they return.

Your cousin is mad. Dh took Dd overseas to see his parents for nearly a week when she was 1. I stayed at home and had a lovely time.

Sounds ideal tbh. Peace for you and bonding for them.

Gosh no it doesn't make you a bad parent!

My 2 yr old has been to Scotland and Portsmouth without me over nights with his dad and his family. Excuses from them were I was working (they didn't tell me until last minute meaning I couldn't get time off) and there wasn't enough room in the car for me. Same with days out

They don't like me very much so basically i didn't get a choice but same as you I would have been bad mouthed if I hadn't let my son go.

Just enjoy some peace and quiet when you can

No of course not.

I don’t think it makes you a bad mother at all - it certainly won’t affect your child in a negative way, they’ll be absolutely fine. But I would address your reason for not going - I don’t think staying with a family member for a few days is a big deal and you sound a bit anxious about staying somewhere away from home - it’s a bit sad if you’re missing out on family time because that worries you so maybe that’s something you need to address or overcome, just for yourself.

I hate this sexist bullshit. No one ever claims a man is a bad father if their female partner takes the children to see family on their own.