How do you react to negative comments about your child?

[Suzie2020]

Hi guys I really struggle with how to react to people’s comments or reactions when it comes to my toddler. I don’t usually say anything but then I work myself up after the event.

For example today I was in costa with my 4 year old and She wasn’t being bad at all she spotted the chocolate coins and was saying “mmmm yummy chocolate coins! Chocolate coins!” And an old woman behind me said “what’s wrong with her” I replied “nothing” and she said “it seems to me there’s something wrong with her”. I was so upset. How would you have reacted?

I’d have asked why she assumed there was something wrong with her?

Death Stare.

Only once has an acquaintance/friend made a comment about DS being overly attached to me. I just assumed there was no offense meant and ignored it.

I’m not very good at holding back....so, I probably would have said “what the fuck is wrong with you?? You miserable old goat....”

But that’s just me.

She was being incredibly rude, and possibly a little batshit. Maybe she has little experience of four years olds and has unrealistic expectations of them.

I would like to think I would have said something along the lines of: ‘what an incredibly rude thing to say’. But in all likelihood I would have been so gobsmacked I would have said nothing. Please ignore her. The irony is it’s likely her who has something wrong with her if she thinks that is acceptable behaviour.

Thanks for your replies. I’m so bloody sensitive that crazy stuff people say stays with me the whole day! I wish I had said something like “there’s nothing wrong with her but what’s wrong with you?”. I wish I could think of things to say in the moment!

When she said that a part of me though. Omg is there something wrong with my daughter that I haven’t noticed, but I’m sure other 4 year olds are the same.

It’s incredibly hard, if not impossible to not be stung by disparaging remarks about your child. I’ve just read back your op, and I can’t for the life of me see what the woman was referring to. Sounds totally normal to me. Exactly the kind of thing my own 4 year old would say in that situation!

A expression and "Nothing." would probably get your point across just fine.

I'd have just said 'Nothing, she likes chocolate, like her mum,'. If she continued to say there was something wrong with my child, for saying something normal, then I would just presume she's a bit weird and ignored her. Strangers shouldn't really be making negative comments about other people's children, it's a bit odd. Think no more of it. I just fancy some chocolate coins now

No advice, just wanted to say it happens to us too! My DS will just be chattering away or generally being a toddler and people will "help" with all sorts of comments.

Also, chocolate coins are very yummy, so sounds like a reasonable thing for your DD to say!

I don't often end up saying anything back to interfering randoms, but I do just try and chat to my kiddie and carry on like it's not happened, even if it's really wobbled me.

OP, your child is probably a little angel and bundle of Joy. people are mean. People are jealous. In relationships with men who don’t want children. They make themselves feel better by belittling an adorable child. This is the truth. You do not even have to react for these people do not deserve 0.01% of your energy and time.

I usually say nothing but mither over it, then think of the perfect cutting reply whilst lying awake at 3am in the morning.

Nobody’s ever said anything bad about any of my kids. Or maybe they have and I’m too think skinned to notice.

I would say what’s wrong with you old biddy? I respect the elderly but they can be horrible towards children.

Missing the point of the thread but a 4 year old is not toddler..

Anyway the woman was rude and it was a bizarre comment! Even if wasn't "typical" behaviour (which is sounds like it totally was!) there would be no reason at all for anyone to comment! What is wrong with people!!

Hope you're ok OP!

Thanks for responses guys! Good comment someone said about just carrying on as normal and just chatting to child as nothing was said. I’ll try that next time thank.

Yes, typo should have said preschooler not toddler. I’m always mixing up terms like baby, toddler etc. Yes toddler till 3 I think then preschooler not sure what comes after probably just child

Just do the mn head tilt "did you mean to be so rude?"

Lol! Yeah I’ll try the head tilt but In the moment I just go blank.

Why would your dd pointing out the chocolate coins mean there's something wrong with her? I don't get it at all. Very odd.

I know I’m just gonna let it go now. In the moment I was annoyed and angry at myself for not asking her what she meant, but maybe she wasn’t very well, she was quite old. Maybe she meant it like a joke but came out rude instead!

My son has special needs and can act out sometimes he was going mental in a shop so I had him cornered calming down the amount of comments were appalling I was dealing with him I didn't need to deal with them my friend gave me the perfect retort

Excuse me your face is upsetting my child kindly remove it!

He has behaved impeccably since so I haven't used it 😉

@slippery, gosh that’s awful! People just don’t think do they. That’s a good answer! x

Does this happen to you often? Do you live somewhere really weird or something?

Boggles, we live in London!

Two words: BOG OFF (or stronger if you wish)