Firstly this really is about a friend. Not secretly about me and a cover up etc.
I got to know her when we were both pregnant and our children were born close together, albeit hers early.
She has a lot of family issues, isn't close to her mums side, dad lives an hour or so away. She can't work. And doesn't have many friends of her own so I try her best.
Her partner is a number of years older than her with an older child already.
From conversations with her.. I feel like shes struggling. Little one was early and barely sleeps at all.
It's her partner that concerns me. I'm under the impression he never gets up for night feeds, goes to work, and expects to have all the 'nice' bits of parenthood. As soon as the baby cries or isn't settled he yells and shouts at the baby. And if confronted about absolutely anything becomes an essentially moody man child.
She feels can't leave.. I'm under the impression because she hasn't worked for a long time she doesn't have a lot of money, she's cautious of asking her dad for help due to him just moving in with a partner, and her partner owns the house.
I'm.. I try and listen as much as I can,and I don't believe there is any violence.. but I also think yelling at a baby (less than 3 months) to shut the fuck up, or to cut it out because baby is a little unsettled or has been woken up, is out of order.
Do I speak to a HV?
I've tried being gentle with her. I've tried to be..brutally honest. Nothing works.
I've only just managed to convince her not to try for a second one (was considering it when baby was weeks old)... I don't believe baby is in danger but I do believe it's a very negative environment.