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Parenting

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parenting battle

2 replies

fluffypaws69 · 04/09/2019 12:49

I am a 49 year old working mum of 2 boys ages 17 and 4 nearly five. My hubby hasn't worked for nearly 3 years due to an accident at work and developing health problems. He is very lax in his approach to disciplining our 4 year old, and I am constantly telling him he has to toughen up and we have to work together. He has been this way for 2 years and as 4 is getting older he is getting worse. He is rude, argumentative and throws tantrums and screams the house down most days. I dread going home from work and count down the hours till bedtime. My hubby can see what this is doing to me but just dosent seem to have the ability to be firm, and we just carry on , me being the bad parent always intervening when 4 is rude and naughty. which he is most days. I feel so much anger and resentment towards my hubby. I just don't know how to get him to listen and help me. I feel totally over whelmed and mentally worn out and never get a break, as my parents have there own problems. Friends children have grown up, and I feel totally alone as they are out enjoying life and i'm stuck at home with a child I wish I had never had. I feel such a bad person saying that, I beat myself up daily but I had him for my hubby as he had no children of his own. All I have ever had in the last 3 years is grief, I find myself constantly thinking of ways out, I sometimes want to walk out and not come home. I have never posted before

OP posts:
ALoadOfTwaddle · 04/09/2019 21:05

OK. First thing is first- four year olds are not famous for being cooperative and nothing you've said screams 'massive behaviour problems' to me. Sounds like you just have different parenting styles.

How much time do you get for yourself? Could you not leave them with your DH for a night to go out with your friends every few weeks?

KissyThief · 05/09/2019 21:10

Oh fluffy paws! It’s ok to feel the way you do, i wonder what’s going through your hubbys head when your lo is acting up and whether your lo does this all day or just when mum comes home?

I suppose one of the things that strikes me is that could your hubby be depressed?

Could you show your hubby this post and how desperate you feel that things need to change? Sit down and agree on say 5 really clear cut ground rules for your lo that both of enforce 100% of the time. With a clear positive or negative reinforcement for your lo.

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