I often child-mind for three girls 5, 7, & 10years; I am grandfather to the youngest. The 10-year-old has spates of total disruptive behaviour, only when at her mum’s home, or out with her mum in town. This “kicking off” as it is described has led to her mum not wanting to take her into any shops.
On top of this she often talks and behaves like a toddler, and sometimes asks the 5-year-old to be her mother in roll play. She has very little age appropriate games, sleeps with her two siblings, and often sent to bed at the same time for poor behaviour. Her mum says no so often I feel sick, don’t get the toys out now, your dad will be here soon, not now it will be dinner time soon, not now it will be bedtime soon, and soon is anything from twenty minutes to hours.
The naughty step ritual was ruined years ago, “sit there till I say you can move” and letting it drift after half an hour, or even an hour anyway. Their mum mean’s well they always have clean clothes and a tidy house; I walk on eggshells so as not to upset the apple cart. I have noticed that the other siblings are starting to ignore their mum and would carry this through to the other dads if it wasn’t nipped in the bud. Their mum is very flexible with father contact time, but it upsets me when their mother uses this as a threat, saying you won’t be going with your dad tomorrow if you don’t behave. I have lost hours of sleep just thinking about it, but it doesn't seem bad enough to go to SS, or NSPCC, but it is worring as the 10 year old is starting to say things like, "I'm going to kill myself" or run-away. Her demeanor is more drama queen, than serious, and she promised me she would not say it again, as it upsets me. Help!