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Hate myself for saying this but...

5 replies

Imtrying2 · 03/09/2019 21:51

I don’t get any pleasure out of being a mum at all. There, said it, I know I’m awful. I don’t hate my children, but I quite often feel like I don’t like them. Everything I do for them seems to much effort, and every time I hear ‘mam’ I want to scream. They’re so demanding. I don’t miss them when they’re at school or at grandmas for the night. I spend a lot of time wishing someone would just take them off my hands for a while. I feel like they restrict my life, I think I’d have friends if it wasn’t for them (I don’t have a single friend), I could go out more, I could further my career. I’ve seen all these posts of mums saying they’ll ‘miss their babies’ when they go back tomorrow or these emotional posts about children starting their first day at school and how emotional they’ll be but I don’t feel any of that and my youngest starts school tomorrow. My eldest (6 almost 7) argues with me constantly and has an answer for everything. My youngest (4 almost 5) is so lazy and would quite happily let everyone do everything for him (I don’t). Even the fact they won’t eat healthily and eat everything beige despite all my efforts pisses me off.

Why the hell do I feel this way? I wanted them, I wanted children, always did. So why do I feel this way? I actually hate myself for it, I’m a terrible mum 😢

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Whoknows11 · 03/09/2019 21:53

I couldn't read and run.

You are not a terrible mum.

Do you have any support?

ILiveInSalemsLot · 03/09/2019 21:57

Do you have a partner? Is their father a good parent?

Imtrying2 · 03/09/2019 22:22

I have my husband but we are separating. He’s never been a very involved dad, I’ve done everything for them. His idea of parenting is sticking them on their iPads to keep them quiet. He hated the baby stage so I feel like I lost a lot of joy from that cos I was so exhausted all the time.

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ILiveInSalemsLot · 03/09/2019 22:58

It did sound like you were unsupported.
Sorry you’re in this situation. It’s really hard but I think once you separate, things will be easier. You’ll be calmer and less stressed and this will probably affect the children positively.
Do you have any family or friends who can help you have a few hours break?
I’m the meantime, give your children lots of hugs and try to find ways of keeping yourself calm and grounded. Things like meditation on YouTube, exercise, long brisk walks, chats with friends.
Look after yourself too.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 03/09/2019 23:00

Sorry I just reread your post about friends.
Do you do the school run?
Netmums meet a mum section is quite good for meeting people.

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