20 week old won't sleep in cot

[dw2510]

Wondering if anyone has any advice. Dd is 20 weeks old. She is the most content, curious and happy 20 week old I know, but from the moment she was born she has hated being put in a crib/cot. The midwives couldn't get her to settle in the crib in the hospital. She will only sleep when held or lying right next to me in a bed. Every day I try her down, the longest she has slept in her crib is a hour and she howled when I tried to put her back in.

We have tried the following:

White noise/apps with various noises to help baby sleep
A baby pod
Wearing the bedsheets on me to get my smell on them
Putting down a hot water bottle to warm the bed up before she goes in
Putting the mattress at a angle
Putting her in the crib while completely out for the count
Putting her in the crib while half asleep
Putting her in the crib while awake
Putting my hand on her chest
The baby box
Moving the crib right next to my side of the bed so she can smell and hear me
Playing her favourite Game of Thrones theme tune (she'll fall asleep to this any other time)
Swaddling with and without arms out
Putting her in a baby sleeping bag
On her back
On her side
On her belly
Taken her to an Osteopath

Our Health Visitor tells me to keep persevering, but we are getting no where.

She will easily fall asleep in the car seat when out or in the pram before she out grew it.

Could it be the crib? Is there anything else we should try?

Is there is a reason why you want her in the cot if she is happily cosleeping?

She will only cosleep in a bed if she is cuddled up to me and I am always scared I might hurt her, so I never sleep. I try moving her, but she always wakes up and won't settle until she is cuddled up again. So I always end up sitting up in bed with her on a feeding pillow and I am surrounded in pillows to try and keep us in place, but I am never comfortable for long.

Have you tried a cosleeping cot? It has one side missing so you can put it right up against the bed and it is almost luke she is in bed with you. You could move yourself right up to the side of the cot so she is as close to you as possible, maybe even touching her but if you roll in her direction the ends of the cot will be in your way

If you're following safe cosleeping guidelines you won't hurt her. Sleeping propped up on pillows with her isn't safe.

Have you tried a sleepyhead? Lots of babies I know who like to be cuddled up have settled well in these.

I know it's frustrating but she will get there eventually. One day she'll just do it. Hang in there.

Oh love, this takes me back. Some babies are just buggers. DD wouldn't sleep for about 6m unless held by me or being fed.
It was shit. I think I got her napping alone before a year but I was shit at it and gave in/rocked to sleep/fed to sleep far too often. My view was when she's older and no longer wants cuddles I will not regret this time. Plus I stayed off work for 3.5yrs so had no strict routine or deadline to work to.

I now have a 4wo DS and have no idea what to do this time!
Good luck.

We borrowed a sleepyhead and she wouldn't lie in it either. Until last month dd wouldn't lie down on my bed either, so the only way for the two of us to get any sleep was to be propped up with pillows. I have fought with my conscious about sleeping this way, but it was the only way the two of us could ever get any sleep. I am trying to lie down with her at the start of each night, but she moves in so close I am scared she stops breathing.

Do you get co-sleeping cribs that can be used on babies over 6 months?

I know what you mean by enjoying all the cuddles now, definitely making the most of it. My maternity pay runs out end of December, so was planning back to work in January part time. Hope we have something sorted by then!

We have a baby the same age and have the same problem. It’s too soon to say we’ve cracked it, but I bought a different cot mattress a fortnight ago and it seems to have made everything much better. The one that came with the cot was very firm foam covered in a plasticy covering. I’ve bought one with a soft cover that has a bit more give and it’s amazing to see her actually snuggle down to sleep in it now. We’ve had a real struggle with her, she had terrible, screaming colic and has pretty much slept on or next to me since birth, with the odd nap in her pram. Next 2 me crib was little used. But now she’s so mobile, and her pram now has the seat unit on, I wanted to get her used to the cot as I’m not happy leaving her unattended in bed or putting her to nap in the buggy. They’re still so small, but I’m getting to the point where I feel we need to at least attempt to introduce some routine, and this last few weeks of being able to put her down sleeping has done wonders for me. She’s still waking up after a few hours all through the night, and very often I’ll just bring her back into bed so we can all get some rest, but at last the cot is being used. Next thing I need to crack is getting her to take a bottle. No such luck so far!

It's quite good to know we aren't the only ones going through this. I might look into other mattresses and see if she reacts any differently.

I have also had the same problem with my 20 week old but since I've embraced co-sleeping things are so much better.

Are you breast feeding? If so and if you are following all the safe sleep guidance the risks are very low. I was really scared at first so DH would stay up and watch to make sure everything was ok. Then once I knew DS was fine I was able to relax and we all now get sleep. I figure he'll agree to being in his cot when he's ready!

Good luck xx