Help me be braver at public breastfeeding

[SerenaOverjoyed]

I love breastfeeding 4wk old DD but I'm struggling doing it in public. I have a cover but struggle to get DD to latch under this, and the resulting scream is more embarassing than getting my tits out!

I'm not so bad with strangers, but feel more shy around people I know. I've always been uncomfortable with being naked and have always hated my breasts (massive nipples). Thus far I've either excused myself or got a big red face faffing for a latch.

I want to get used to this. I'm a pretty liberal, relaxed person generally so this is uncharacteristically prudish

Things that worked for me: ditching the cover, practicing in front of a mirror, muslin tucked into bra strap on feeding side. Proper bf clothes as one up one down never worked for me.
Go for it. You can do it.

Put a muslin over your shoulder. This worked brilliantly for me.

YY about proper breastfeeding clothes as well.

wear clothes that you feel dont expose you too much, A light muslin is much better than a cover. Its quite easy to feed without nipple exposure

Great advice already. Also arm yourself with the encouraging thought that the more people who breastfeed in public, the more normal and less intimidating it becomes for others!

Best advice - stretchy spaghetti strap vest top under your top. Top up, vest down- amount of skin showing minimal

My dd was a dream to feed so I think I got it quite easy. But I found vest top with a loose top on over the top the easiest. Pull vest top down and loose top up to expose the least amount of boob. She didn’t like being covered , but I did have a large bamboo Muslim (Aden &anais) that I would have nearby that I could throw over my shoulder and cover any boobage if we had a disaster and she got fussy.

Practice at home is good too - imagine you have a room full of people during the night feeds!

Try not to think of it as :public breastfeeding' - you're just breastfeeding. And, sometimes, there are other people about.

What others have said, cheap vest under a top so you can stretch the vest down and pull your top up. I also tied a big muslin around my bra strap. I found Primark's muslins the best as they are large.
I had the fear to feed in front of my dad and brother but after a few months I'll feed anywhere. I honestly never thought I'd get to that stage.
I do always make sure I'm covered rather than exposing any skin. You've got this!

Specially designed b/f bra and tops helped me, as well as thinking about where I was sat, the type of chair etc.
Some of the bucket style chairs in coffee shops didn’t give me enough space, but a sofa was much easier.
If you’ve got a long mirror at home, sit in front of it. Unfasten bra, get dd into position then open your top and latch her on. You’ll probably be surprised at how little is actually ‘on show’.
I found trying to drape Muslims or hide bits just made things way more complicated.

The in front of a mirror trick as mentioned by a previous poster is really really good. You’ll be surprised at how little shows to anybody else even when your whole boob is visible to you. And also remind yourself that everybody will be averting their eyes

Stick with vests outside or breastfeeding tops, I used to really mind but my LO started kicking the blanket off now DD is 8months I’ll just whip my boob into her mouth without hesitation.
Almost everyone ignores it completely well

I have huge nipples also and I found it doesnt really matter to me what I'm wearing, its more about how I'm feeling. If you're feeling self conscious it'll show and then its awkward. I just pretend like I'm at home and don't really think about it :)

What worked for me was doing it in stages. So at first I'd go to the bf room. Then when comfortable find a secluded corner in a cafe and then eventually just did it wherever

It's easy to worry about what other people are thinking but no one is interested really
I breastfed in public and I felt alot of people where kinda nervous and would deliberately look away or totally hold eye contact

Honestly nobody cares! And if they do it's their own problem.

I had to breastfeed in public with a nipple cover. No chance of doing that latch super discreetly. I’m also a J cup. If I could do it, so can you.

What helped for me was layering clothing. Shirt that pulls up with tank beneath that pulls down. That way my big flabby belly was covered and there was a bit of fabric on the top of my breast which made me feel more comfortable. Sometimes that was actual nursing clothing, sometimes it was just regular clothing layered. I never cared for the nursing clothes that pulled to the side.

My husband said to me the first time I fed in public and was really worried was 'everyone else is too busy with their own lives to care about what you're doing with a new baby'. It did make sense to me and the first few times I had him with me for support which really helped.

Go out and practice with people you feel comfortable with, maybe your partner or some close friends or other bf mums if you know some. Settle yourself in a nice coffee shop somewhere, get comfy and feed (and get the biggest slice of cake you can find )Or maybe try breastfeeding groups where you know you'll be where other mums are feeding and you might feel less self conscious

I fed DD in the theatre this evening and DSD, who was sitting next to me, didn’t even notice. I was a bit nervy starting out but on the whole I think people usually think you’re just cuddling your baby or don’t pay attention at all.

If I’m in a pull down top or dress, as today, I pop a muslin over the shoulder and down the side (she’s a terrible dribbler!). If I’ve got two layers on I really don’t think you can see much, even with my big boobs and huge nipples!

On the odd occasion someone has noticed, they’ve always just smiled or offered me a glass of water.

Another vote for a vest top underneath. Honestly, most people don't even notice what you're doing! With my first, I felt self conscious with my dad, brothers, father- in-law and brother-in-law but this time around I'm really not fussed, and neither are they. After a while they just get used to it, so keep going, you're doing amazing! Soon it will be just second nature and you won't mind who is about

I can relate to this. You've had some good advice. What also really helped was going to groups with other mums and BF there and then going to cafes in a group.

As PP have said, most people won't notice as they are too busy. I'm feeding DD2 now so that totals 41 months of feeding in public if so I add it up. The only interaction I've had with the public is middle aged or older ladies giving me a smile, obviously remembering their own babies.
I would find the cover a pain too but ypu can tuck a muslin in yoyr bra strap if you like and cover any "over exposed" boob when the baby is settled if ypu prefer. A screaming baby will draw much more attention than a feeding one honestly.

As a bit of reassurance, I took ds1 to some relatives when he was a couple of months old. I breastfed him on and off the whole visit as I was self conscious about him crying, At the end of the visit after a few hours dh's uncle said 'I am surprised he did not need to be fed when he was here!' He just thought I was cuddling him!!

By the time I got to ds3 I fed him anywhere, including the top deck of an open top bus!

It is a bit weird around people you know. After the first time it's old hat.

I always say to myself 'what PIL/friends think of my boobs is about number 42 on my list of things to worry about, I'll get round to it when I've worried about all the other things!'