Struggling with no.2 and DD

[Shahlalala]

I think this is just new baby hormones, but I’m feeling quite teary about it.

Beautiful DS was born last Sunday and all going well, doesn’t sleep and feeds constantly as expected really!

What I’m really struggling with is missing my DD who is nearly 5. I hardly play with her and get DH to have baby so I can do bedtime or shower her or something when we can, but then DS wants milk and I have to rush or swap with DH. I just feel so guilty at the lack of my time she gets. She has been over to my sisters a couple of times to play with cousins and I know she’s having a blast but I just miss her. DH is dropping her off now as all the cousins are over at another sisters so she can play and I am in floods of tears that I miss her. Is this just misguided hormones?

Anyone?

Didn't want to read and run.
I have 3 kids, and each of the two times I've had a newborn with an older sibling I've had a mixture of guilt about not spending tine with my older DC, and also guilt when leaving the baby with DH to spend time with them, so it's almost that I can't win!
What I will say though is that this feeling calms down. I was teary about most things straight after having my babies (my youngest is only three months old and I'm just coming out of that fog!) You also will find in a few weeks time that you are able to spend more time with DD as you'll establish more of a routine and will find times that you are able to have 1-to-1 time with her once baby is more settled. Like you've said, DD is having a wonderful time and is also getting the benefits of a bit more special time with DH, which is very likely all she's noticed, if anything.
You're doing a great job, parenting more than one is a whole new ball game and you will find ways to manage it. My kids just adore each other and wouldn't be without each other so it's all worth it and I'm sure she's delighted to have a new sibling

I felt exactly like this when DD2 was born. I remember feeling like I didn't get to spend much time with DD1 and feeling guilty. I was in floods of tears a week or so in when she went over to my parents' house for dinner even though I knew she'd be having a great time!

Now, 8 months on, they're starting to play together and it's much easier to make sure I spend time with both of them. The early days with a newborn are hard but it does get easier and you'll be able to spend more time with each of them.

Don’t worry OP, you’ll feel much better about it soon. my DC2 is 7 weeks old and I felt exactly like this about my DD when he was first born. I felt so guilty not spending time with her, especially when I was upstairs in bed with the baby and I could hear her downstairs with my DH.

hopefully it’ll get better quickly, hormones will calm down, you’ll all get used to a new routine, and in a few weeks you’ll get a bit more time as well. Having 2, especially in the day on my own, is not as hard as I thought it would be!

It's hard but you're not going to do your DD any favours by being emotional about it for long...

When DS was born I kept saying to myself 'this is the new normal', things are in flux for your DD but the sooner you show her how things are now, the sooner things will feel stable again for her.

You can't be in two places at once. Sometimes you have to say 'the baby needs me to do x'. So long as you spend some time one on one with DD, she'll be ok.

I read the how to talk... book on siblings, might help.