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Parenting

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Original poster

Today I feel like a shit mum

21 replies

Caramelchoochoo · 30/08/2019 18:50

I dont even know why. I struggle heavily with Mum guilt and anxiety as I work full time, had yesterday and today off though.. my husband is away working this weekend he left yesterday and he will be back sunday evening.

We have a ds who is almost 2.

So today he woke at 5.55am , so we got up had breakfast around 7am, played for half an hour then we got dressed and I took him swimming from 8-9 am then to the park and then to get his feet measured in Clark's and then to boots to get some bits and Bob's ( I struggle badly with social anxiety and leaving the house without my husband so today was a huge challenge for me) we then came home watched 20 mins of baby club tv while I cooked his lunch, he ate lunch then napped from 11-1pm, he woke and we had cuddles and then I decided we would go out again to another park - which he loved.

Then came home had some dinner and cuddles and from 5pm onwards hes had the tv on until now as hes knackered and gone to bed. My mum guilt has taken over my mind telling me I shouldnt have had the TV on for almost 2 hours ( he didnt watch it solidly but dipped in and out of it) but I feel so drained and knackered and it's so mentally draining with my mind going ten to the dozen. I am constantly beating myself up , I never feel like what I do for my boy is enough, it's so hard without my husband here, my mums on holiday for 10 days , I hardly have any friends who I can go and meet ( lost due to anxiety struggles )

I'm just a wreck and just want to go and get in my ds and cuddle him :( please someone cheer me up and give me some words of wisdom.

OP posts:

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MoobaaMoobaa · 30/08/2019 18:54

nothing wrong with your day what's so ever.

Have you spoken to your GP about your anxiety? as it's clearly not just social anxiety you are struggling with.

totallyrandom · 30/08/2019 18:55

You did brilliantly today! Lots of fresh air and exercise and getting your DS’s feet measured. He sounds happy and tired. Honestly with first borns so many of us try so hard on all levels - trust me my 2 year old (4th child) experienced a fraction of what yours did today. Plus the whole screen thing is only a problem if the child is not getting enough exercise as a result. A just 2 year old will pick up language from good quality children’s TV.

mrsprice84 · 30/08/2019 18:56

You ARE NOT a shit mum. Your day sounds fantastic and I bet your little one loved every second because he was with you!!! Don't worry about having the TV on, it's not like he was sat in front of it all day. You are doing a fab job, despite your anxiety (I suffer too so feel your struggle) and sounds to me like you are working to overcome it to get out with your little one. High five to you x

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Mishappening · 30/08/2019 18:58

I have looked after 2 GC today - they had 2.5 hours of TV over their lunchtime. No guilt here! - I would have gone insane if I had not done this!!

Parenthood is set up to make you feel guilty - don't succumb to it!

You must do what you have to do to get you through. It sounds as if your DC had a truly lovely day!

mrsprice84 · 30/08/2019 18:59

...and maybe have a chat with your GP about your anxiety if you really feel it's consuming you at times x

Original poster

Caramelchoochoo · 30/08/2019 19:01

Thank you thank you so much xx

OP posts:

B00kworm86 · 30/08/2019 19:03

That sounds like a fantastic day OP!

elizzza · 30/08/2019 19:03

Bloody hell, you went swimming, to the park twice, and to the shops, that’s about three days worth of activity for me. It sounds like you’re doing a cracking job.

Parental angst over screentime needs to end, watching a bit of a tv isn’t the end of the world. I watched loads of tv as a kid and I still became a functioning adult with adequate social skills - I became a lawyer so it can’t have destroyed my brain entirely. Kids can’t be on the go all the time, I think a bit of downtime is good for them.

I agree with PP it sounds like some support for your anxiety would be helpful. Especially if it’s eroded your friendships - some adult company outside the house would be really good for you.

ClashCityRocker · 30/08/2019 19:05

Why are you feeling blue about it? Your little one has had a lovely active day and then a chill time in front of the TV. Absolutely nowt wrong with that.

Choice4567 · 30/08/2019 19:06

I can’t work out how you fitted so much into one day!

BiscuitMachine · 30/08/2019 19:07

Please don't worry about too much TV. My children have been practically raised by it! As long as they are doing other things too (you have achieved a lot in your day there, more than I could have managed when mine were that age) then it's fine. Cut yourself a massive amount of slack

SummerHouse · 30/08/2019 19:08

Wow. Funny how perception can be at opposite ends of the spectrum.

If that was my day, I would be giving myself a parenting high five and reveling in how I flipping aced it!

You should not have to endure these levels of anxiety. Is there a toddler group near you. I went to anything going and found my people. You have one massive thing in common with other mums and that's a good start to becoming a friend.

Hangingtrousers · 30/08/2019 19:10

My dd watched TV all afternoon. whatever gets you through the day. Def not a bad mum.

Original poster

Caramelchoochoo · 30/08/2019 19:10

I cant work it out either! I feel I have to do all of these things with and for him to compensate the fact I work full time... Its something I need a bit of help with I think, I think my mind needs retraining! I had a great set of friends before giving birth, but now I just feel so lonely and anxious and I'm a massive worrier.

OP posts:

Goodebe · 30/08/2019 19:11

My three have done a FRACTION of what your DS has done today, honestly don’t worry. At 8am while you were swimming I was still trying to get two of them to get dressed, one had been watching tv since half six.. then they had to amuse themselves until after lunch while I washed, cleaned and hoovered. Only then did they get a walk around the shopping centre, pet shop being the highlight of the day!

MaximusHeadroom · 30/08/2019 19:13

If that was my day, I would be giving myself a parenting high five and reveling in how I flipping aced it!

Totally agree.

My poor DCs get excited about going to the supermarket! I am a great believer that boredom leads to greatness

PirateWeasel · 30/08/2019 19:18

I'm constantly worrying I don't play with my LO enough. I think mums constantly worry full stop. Remember that your sanity is important, and if some TV gives you the break you need, don't feel bad about it! Whatever gets you through the days!

Orchidflower1 · 30/08/2019 19:21

You had a busy day op with lots of achievements for yourself. You are a fab mum so please don’t worry. 🍫👍🏻

Kittykat93 · 30/08/2019 19:54

If I had taken my 2 year old ds swimming and to the park and all the other stuff you've done in one day I'd feel like I was fantastic!

Melrose86 · 30/08/2019 22:45

Nothing wrong with the TV time at all as you made so much effort to go out and do nice things. Sounds like you are a great mum!x

MrsMaow · 01/09/2019 10:50

I hope when my baby that age I will be able to give her days as good as that!

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