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Livid with dd's friends Mother

8 replies

stillcryinginside · 06/08/2007 23:13

Sorry if this is not the right place but I just want to scream at the mo. dd has been out with her friend all day as usual. I called her to ask if she was coming home for tea and she said she was having some later at friends house and asked me to call her back about 8ish (she's out of credit ... again!) anyway called her back and she asked if it was ok to stay the night and would dad or me drop her some clothes etc down, no problem we've done this several times before and it's only 10 mins drive away.

I rang to tell her dad was on way with her stuff and she asked could he leave it till a little later as friends mother had just popped out to shop and locked them in, I wasn't impressed but called back 5 mins later, mother still not back, phoned again 10 mins later, mother still not back by this time I was getting annoyed that they'd been locked in for this length of time. Kept calling every 5 - 10 minutes still no mother !! an hour had passed by now and I was livid.

I decided to go down to the house by this time and wait for mother to return. Got down there and the front door is locked but back door to yard is open, although there are 10 foot walls and gate to exit at least I was releived they wern't actually locked totally in the house with no escape route in an emergancy but I was still annoyed that mother would leave them alone this length of time telling them she was nipping to shop

Theres a lot more to this though, I don't like the mother and her parental skills leave a lot to be desired IMHO but I do love my dd friend to bits and have every sympathy for her and she's a lovely girl too.

Mother has 2 teenage kids, ds & dd, split from dh last yr met younger bloke in pub and before anyone knows she's pregnant. her partner is a no hoper imo, constantly steals from her is violent always splitting up and she still goes back for more. Social services are involved with the family and partner is not allowed near ds & dd and has supervised access to new baby but she's always sneeking off to see him. She often leaves the kids alone and her dd & my dd to look after baby.

My dd assured me tonight that mother had taken baby with her although it was late and dark, I saw no sign of her and had to trust what she said. I don't know the laws on leaving kids alone, I have never done it myself but I just think mother is a total prat. her kids hrdly ever have meals made and are always eating takeaway, mother never feeds my dd when she stays and I have to make sure she has enough to feed herself when she stays but her friend loves having her there so I find it hard refusing to let her stay even though I'd rather she didn't.

Mother wants my dd to go on holiday with them next yr and I've refused point blank, there is no way in this world I trust her with my daughter miles away for a week and shes not using my dd as an unpaid babysitter while she goes out all the time but I can't make my dd understand my concerns.

I'm still so angry and don't know how beest to deal with it any advice would be greatful

OP posts:
saadia · 06/08/2007 23:17

I would not let dd go and stay with this family. Could you not invite dd's friend to your place?

controlfreakyflitwick · 06/08/2007 23:21

have you re read all you've written....?
how old is your dd?
why would you let her stay in this household, knowing what you do?

PyjamaQueen · 06/08/2007 23:22

How old is your dd?

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stillcryinginside · 06/08/2007 23:27

I have re-read it yes and my heart is in my mouth. I really don't like her staying there but in some stupid way I'm think that if she doesn't her friend will be alone and I'd rather there be the 2 of them there. How f@@king stupid does that sound, im angry with myself now. I just thank god that they are good girls, dont drink, smoke, no interest in being out on the street with gangs.

dd is 14 - 15 next month, her friend is 15 I know theyre not babies but I do worry about them.

I would love to have her friend come and stay anytime she wanted but her mother wont allow it, she uses her dd as a babysitter and I think she's afraid that people will find out whats going on in the house.

OP posts:
flipflopper · 07/08/2007 17:13

I have only got little ones, but Im sure i was left alone in the house at 15, not locked in though!!

I really dont think you can let her go on the holiday can you? Going to her friends house is ok as its not too far away and she has her phone so she is contactable, but the holiday is a different matter!

Did you say anything to the mother about locking them in the house?

It sounds like your dd is a sensible girl though.

lady007pink · 08/08/2007 06:21

From when I was 9, I was babysitter to my younger brothers. In a way, it's good as it teaches responsibility (stopped me being broody, made me very careful about using birth control!), but I think that woman overdoes it with her DD.
I definitely wouldn't allow your DD to go on holiday with them.

elasticsortinghandstand · 08/08/2007 08:03

i think you need to have dds friend to yours, if you really don't like family, which it sounds as if you don't.
and NO absolutely not go on holiday, what would theybe doihng, babysitting?

elasticsortinghandstand · 08/08/2007 08:07

oh, just read dds friend's mokther won't let her stay with you? plenty of 15 year olds are used as baby sitters ime, but she does need to let her out. Perhaps you could talk to mum, suggest they take turns where they see each other?

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