When did parenting become easier for you? FTM here

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I’m a FTM who has a 9 week old little boy, I’m just wondering when things became easier for you. I mean so far it is has been getting slightly easier week by week but he’s very clingy to me and I can’t put him down. Playmat and baby swing he will last anywhere from 5 -10 mins and the longest has been 30 mins on one occasion. He will only go to sleep during the day if I have him in his baby carrier and I’ve found this is the easiest thing to do as it means I can get on with stuff. To get him to sleep on a night he has to sleep on me then transferred to his cot. I was just wondering if anyone had a similar experience and when they were able to put there baby down on there own for slightly longer periods? He suffers from reflux and gas so from about 3 weeks old he was very unsettled until he was diagnosed.

Hi OP. This is all incredibly normal (although I know it is really tough) so please don't worry about silly things like creating bad habits. Not possible at such a tiny age. I know you didn't mention that but I know it goes through a lot of people's minds! Things will get easier each week. When they can sit up on their own things get a lot easier. Then when they wean it is easy to distract with food. Then crawling they are less frustrated but it's tiring in a different way! Basically what I'm saying is this stage won't last forever and I promise you will miss the snuggly newborn stage when they are crawling away from you at 100mph! Lean on partner, friends and family as much as you can and take it easy. Lots of Netflix and box sets!!! X

Thank you, just sometimes I feel like I’m constantly looking for the next mile stone when it will get easier and I feel bad for that. Then when you see people who look like they’ve got everything together and your compairing yourself.

Hi OP, I found the newborn stage quite hard. i think when you start to get longer chunks of sleep and out of the house for an hour on your own now and again, that makes things a bit easier as you get a bit of a breather. it really is a phase, although I know it won't feel like that right now. i can't even believe my dd was that tiny sometimes and she is only one and a half! I find this stage much easier, although she never stops!

U will forget quickly how hard it is when they move to their next difficult stage lol I had mine In a sling most of the day when little and they were BF so obviously no one else could help really and my partner worked away but u get thru it. I wouldn't call a 9 week old baby clingy tho I think that just preservation of life if u know what I mean
But we all feel crap feel like kids zap the life out of us especially when low on sleep
But once your getting more sleep honestly u will start to enjoy them so much more
I wouldn't say it gets easier with age either I would say challenges change lol

I found that stage awful, tbh. Also silent reflux and a bad sleeper.

Everyone told me the reflux would improve at 12 weeks cos the muscle would strengthen and I was so skeptical, but they were right.

She did then hit the 4 month sleep regression, which was hell.

My memory is a bit off (it was a whole year ago ) but I found it got easier in general as she became more alert and smiley.

She also got into a decent routine at some point which I found easier as I like a routine, can't really remember when that was - probably not far off 9 weeks though.

Six months when she could sort of sit, we began solids etc, that helped a lot.

We moved her to her own room at 7 months and she suddenly started sleeping through most days which was a revelation.

And from there, it continued to get easier as her routine evolved, she developed etc.

But really for me the biggest change was going back to work at 9 months.

Different people find different stages harder. For me from 4 weeks to 6 months was easy. 6 months to 13 months hard. Since then it's been easy. She is 3 now and a pleasure, not hard work at all.

My best friend basically found the opposite

I found the newborn/first 3 months the absolute worst. No sleep, silent reflux, prem baby who cried constantly - it was an absolute nightmare.
It got slightly easier each month, and from 1 was significantly better and from 2 brilliant. I found dealing with a toddler so much better than a baby.

But I know some people who have easy newborns and found the toddler years much harder. It just depends on you and the child.

I found from about 10-12 weeks I was into a routine and felt like I know what I was doing - I also started getting back into exercise which had a massive impact on my MH (I felt more like a person who could go out and do stuff for me). I’m not sure DS was any different, but I felt more confident and started to actually get stuff done beyond breastfeeding and putting the washing on.

I don't think it does but I cracked the pattern. Gets ever so slightly less difficult and I get an idea of his needs and start to think I'm nailing this parenting thing. Then he changes and so do the goal posts 🤷🏾‍♀️

Mine had silent (and then not so silent) reflux so I remember this well. I started walking laps of the village when she was getting tired but fighting sleep. She then went from walking pram naps, to push back and forth in the kitchen to just lay in pram and leave to nod off.

She fell into a routine pretty early on, which helped enormously (though she does still tend to be a half hour napper, which isn’t so fun).

Things got loads easier once she could sit up at 5 months. Horrible separation anxiety phase at about 6 months, back to being easier at 7 months. Not easy at the moment (9 months, hasn’t figured out how to move yet and is very angry about it) but I hope this will improve in the next few months.

Early weaning helped enormously with reflux.

I’ve just written my own post about finding the baby stage hard and I have three! My eldest who is 6 became easier about 3-4 sorry if that’s not much help!! I’m def not a baby person which I think hasn’t helped me ! X

3-4 years I mean! It does get easier though when they can amuse themselves a bit and sit up etc x

A friend once said to me very honestly “I’m not a fan of the first 6 months” and it was a blessed relief as it gave me “permission” not to enjoy those early stages.

For me it all go gradually easier over the first year but once DC turned 1 it was like a whole new experience and everything eased off... and since then it’s just a joy.

For me them being able to walk is a biggie (with a baby needing to be put down somewhere safe all the time it’s so limiting, so everything is a military operation) and also once they starting interacting with you and you can understand what they want or what is bothering them. Also just getting something back emotionally from them made a huge difference to me.

Stick in there. It’s early days and the big rewards, sweet moments and gorgeous hugs are still to come!!

For me somewhere around three to four months, before that I really would have liked to go back to work. It just got a bit easier each week. Mine had reflux and the projectile vomiting lessened around then so I became more confident about leaving the house, and when they become more alert and responsive it all feels less of a drudge. Looking back, I feel like I spent the first three months just managing his digestive system (patting and rubbing back, cycling legs etc).

I do not enjoy newborns. My friend tells me it all gets easier again when they reach a year, as they're more sturdy.

I really do think it depends on the baby/toddler. Mine is 2 and only now has it become significantly easier (sorry if that's not helpful!). He has lots of eczema and food allergies so it's been a trying time for that reason. I think a 'normal' baby then about 6 months seems to be a turning point. Good luck!

A little easier as we started weaning at 6 mo and he developed personality of his own. Easier again when he self weaned in the day at 18 mo, easier again when we night weaned at 21 mo and easier again when he started occasionally sleeping through soon after that.

And now, at 26 mo, I enjoy him a lot of the time

I found the baby stage the easiest if I’m honest as they can’t run away and you don’t have to amuse them but totally get that it’s difficult in other ways cause you can’t distract them.
I’m going to be brutally honest as I wish someone had been more realistic and honest when I had babies. My 2 year old still wakes up frequently at night. Absolutely nothing works unfortunately and I have had other kids who have slept ok. I’m not saying this to be all negative or frightenyou , I was told constantly it would get better at 2 weeks, 6 months , a year and it just got more difficult as they become more active and mobile and still sleeping crap. I think it’s bettet just to manage what you have going on now and not expect things go get easier as there are new challenges constantly.
I found it so much easier from 4/5 years old..

Apologies for typos , one eye on a whirlwind toddler

Mine was almost exactly the same as yours. It got gradually easier, being able to put him down at 9 weeks was a game changer. Sitting was great (5mo), he started to amuse himself. Now he'll happily amuse himself by pulling things out of cupboards for half an hour at 10 months. I have good days and bad days, but it is much easier.

Once I started to get more sleep it got easier! I think every new milestone brings new independence and makes it easier in some ways and harder in others. As soon as my DS got on the move he seemed much happier, ditching daytime bottles was easier on me as it was less to pack and worry about.

As pp have said, a lot depends on the baby. Don't think you're doing anything wrong just because someone else's baby sleeps longer, smiles more etc.

The first 6 months or so they look adorable but can be very hard/boring to look after, mainly because it's a learning curve and you are sleep deprived and wondering when you get your old life back.

It gets better from 6 months ish when you can interact with them more and they give back a bit, in affection and smiles and learning new skills.

Top tips: eat well, get out at least once a day even if the baby is screaming (they often chill out outside), don't think anyone else cares much that your baby is crying. They're probably not judging you and if they are, sod em. Go to baby groups and meet other mums.

Also, if there are things that stress you out each day then take the time to actually approach it as a problem-solution situation rather than battling on.

So eg if it's hard to get a pram up some stairs or you always get stressed making up bottles, actually think through what might help. Parenting is largely problem-solving!