Toddler bedtime is driving me insane

[SaltK]

We have a lovely calm bedtime routine, I do all the right things. But every night it takes 15 month old DS at least an hour to go to sleep, messing on and crying and screaming. He's tired, but he's not overtired. Naps are great. No teeth. Not ill. Eats well. At the grandparents, they do a very similar routine and he goes in the cot and falls asleep like a dream in 15 minutes.

It's driving me fucking insane and taking over my whole night. What am I doing wrong?!?!?!

When his last nap?

Following for advice as my 2 year old is the same. My DH is currently with her trying to get her to go to sleep.
We have an established routine, black out blinds, white noise etc.
What is the magic answer pleads

Is he breastfed?

Is Dad around at bedtime - what happens if he does it?

Following too. My 2.5 year old has been doing this for about a year (sorry!!). Nothing's changed really and used to sleep like a dream really. Actually the time it changed was when he went into a toddler bed (won't make that mistake again!!).

We have it sometimes for 30mins sometimes 1.5 hours. Worst thing is when he wakes in the night at the moment he starts screaming throwing all of his toys out the bed etc etc and takes a long time to settle.

We've been trying to be so consistent for a year, make it boring etc but it doesn't seem to fix it. I'm hopeful it's a phase he will grow out of but may need some time

Last nap is over by 3pm, bedtime is 7pm. He's not breastfed anymore, just started refusing/laughing at it a couple of weeks ago, so we stopped. It's usually me that does bedtime coz DH is quite often out, bit of he's here it doesn't make any real difference, although I always end up going in so not sure what would happen if it was DH.

Sorry others are going through it too, although I am a bit relieved!

3.5 DD is still a pain at bedtime and through the night. Has been since 18months. We spent about a year stressing, sleep training having a ‘perfect routine’ etc. Now we just have the motto ‘whatever gets the most people the most sleep’ and that is easier for us. Often means DH ends up on the spare bed in her room or she gets into bed with us but we are now all functioning during the day as we’ve had a reasonable amount of sleep.

Also I’ve learnt to multi task - doing the online grocery shop/ listing stuff on eBay etc whilst sitting at the foot of her bed makes it feel slightly less like a waste of my time

I just reassure myself that no 15 year old wants their mum to stay with them till they fall asleep so it will end at some point!!!!

@minniemouse We had the nighttime tantrums around 2.5 too. It did get a Bit better after a few months.

Last night she woke around 10 and was up for around an hour asking for water toilet etc. When she’d exhausted every reason she could think of to keep me in her room she said ‘you can’t go I’m having a bad dream’ I pointed out you needed to be asleep to have a bad dream which caused a bit of pouting on her part! 😂

On days where there is at least 6 hours between waking up from nap and going to bed my DS is literally fast asleep within minutes.

If there is any napping in that 6 hour window then bedtime is a bloody hell hole shitey horror nightmare. I'm currently having one such night.

@Pipanchew2 thank goodness it isn't just me! It's the throwing everything around in the middle of the night urgh. Not every night but fairly regular unfortunately. As a previous poster said hopefully he won't still being doing it at 15!