Bedtime problems 6 year old

[anna8282]

I am really at the end of my
Tether and don't know what to do. My son is 6 now and bedtimes are just horrific. He just cannot switch off. Tried everything before bed and now stand in his room until he falls asleep as I also have an 8 year old daughter that needs her sleep and don't want to keep her awake as it isn't fair. It's getting me
Down and I end up getting so cross with him and then not actually getting downstairs until an hour after. I really don't know what to do pls help should I take him to Gp??

have you got a set routine? that helped settle my dc. so we did dinner, bath (with goodnite lotion applied after), then chill time eg: relaxing tv (watching 'the stick man' on netflix) or doing something like a jigsaw, whilst they drink a cup of warm milk. then upstairs, brush teeth and you read him a story whilst brushing his hair (i found it calmed my dc down), then tucked into bed.

Yes always had a routine exactly
Like that

Will he lie quietly in bed and read a book by himself until he’s sleepy?

Why isn’t he settling? Is he not tired, when do you put him bed?
Is he anxious? Is it too loud? Too quiet? Has something happened or has he always struggled?
You can go to the gp and talk about melatonin but it depends on what’s causing it and how long it’s been going on.

Nope nothing has happened and his sister goes straight to sleep. He's always been more needy etc than her. It's not too quiet or loud etc I do everything I should be doing and obviously not anything else as his sister goes to sleep lovely. If it was just him
I would leave him to get on with it

My ds2 is like this (5.5). Routine helps massively. And books. So I read to him for ten minutes, then read to the 8yo whilst 5yo reads to himself (free reading) then I go back into 5.5yo's room and tuck him in. We chat about the day and if he's got any worries (he's an anxious soul), he still sleeps with a lamp on (he loves his touch-lamp from Amazon. It's USB charged and has different colours/brightness settings).

He prefers it if I stay upstairs whilst he falls asleep, so I usually fold laundry in my room, take a bath, or lie on my bed on my phone or reading my book with a glass of wine. Up to about 6-7 months ago I had to stay in his room.

Tbh I just accepted it. I know it's not going to be forever, and much prefer a calm, quiet end to the day than the hysteria we had if I didn't read to him/tuck him in/went downstairs and left him to it. He's usually asleep within 25mins. I put him to bed around 8pm and he sleeps til around 7.30am.

It's not just a case of standing in his room until he falls asleep, he mucks about so much sometimes he can't lay still and it's just a complete pain to be honest....I wouldn't mind if he just laid there and fell asleep lol

Would a gentle back massage with a bit of lavender oil be worth a try. It might help him to settle?

Yes defo worth a try thank you x

Yup, when my son was like that he was totally wired. Hence the books and talking for a while about any worries he has. Turned out he was anxious about school and that's why it was taking him up to 90mins to 2hrs to fall asleep most nights (not dropping off til 10pm).

I use lavender essential oil in a diffuser and magnesium body lotion with my 5yo as he takes ages to switch off. The diffuser has colouring changing light on it so he ends up watching that and it helps him drift off.