Talk to me about moving baby to own room, or not.

[Rarfy]

Hi. First time parent and dd is definitely PFB. She is eight months old and still in with us. I have no plans to move her, like having her there and can't see any real reason to.

But... Mil has just been quizzing / lecturing me on her going into her own room amongst other things and it has me wondering, are we making a rod for our own back not moving her?

Will it affect her more when we eventually decide to move her?

Mil is definitely coming from a good place, we get on well but I guess parenting has changed a lot since when Mil last did it.

Has anyone any experience of keeping baby in with them a bit or lot longer than the recommended six months?

All my baby friends have already moved their babies out so I can't really ask them.

I moved my babies out earlier than recommended. Just to the room next door... Mainly because we were disturbing each others sleep.... Especially my eldest as they liked to start the day at 4am ...(still up before 6 years later).

My mum tells me I went into my own room first night I came home... & that wasn't unusual as I had been in nursery area of hospital rather than at bedside for few days we were in hospital (no medical reason just the done thing so mum's could recover from labour)... So yes lots of parenting changes.....
Anyway if it works for you stick with it. I can't see any reason to seperate either as long as everyone is getting a decent sleep. I suppose they may miss you when wake up when eventually moved out to new room... So could position in way can't see you immediately when wake up before moving to other room

Yes she is still right next to bed at the moment so I have been thinking about moving her over into the alcove so she is not as close.

She sleeps through about half 8 until 6 or 7 so that's not a problem. I guess I am just worrying now that when we do decide to put her in her own room she will hate it.

At the moment when she is showing signs she is ready for bed she is put into cot alone however we will usually sit in the room watching telly. She gets herself off to sleep doesn't need holding or soothing.

I wouldn't worry - it won't be long until they are demanding their own space and don't want us anywhere near their room haha so I would do whatever works for you guys. I moved my boy out at 6 months as we were disturbing him but I would have loved to have him with us longer x

Ahh phew thank you. I couldn't think of any reason in my head but then what she said kind of made sense.

DD has always been a little independent thing, she's not a cuddly baby at all sge likes her own space so I don't think I have to worry but you know how it is.

Moved our LO out to her own room at 6months / then due to a flood we had to move out of our home for c.3 months (she was c. 7 months) In our temporary accommodation we co slept, and then on our return she was back in her own room. The transition was fine,
I will say I have neighbours who still have their 3year old in with them and are struggling to get him in his own room. Consequently he goes to bed when his parents do ie. far too late.
I don’t think you need to necessarily move them out at 6 months on the dot but I do think the transition can become harder and a bigger issue after 1year old when separation anxiety can kick in.

DD is still in our room at (almost) 11 months and we don’t have any plans to move her into her own room any time soon. This is mostly because her room would be on a different floor to ours and we don’t mind her being in with us. It certainly makes night wakings (thanks teeth!) a lot more easier!

Thank you. I was thinking around a year for dd, maybe longer. It really causes us no issues so as long as we're not doing her any damage in the long run will carry on as we are.

My dn had my eldest brother in for a long time and never had any issues with him as far as I know. I think I just had it coming from all angles with mil last night and I've taken too much on board.

I dropped dds dummy, picked it up sucked it and stuck it back in and she passed comment like finally she doesn't need a new one every time she drops it. As if that would bother someone lol!

We didn’t move DS out of our room until just before his second birthday.

We had a routine which we liked and we didn’t think it impacted either of our sleep! We only moved him into his own room when he moved into a bed.

We had lots of pressure from all relatives to move him earlier but we stuck with what we wanted to do.

@PlansNotDreams that's so good to hear. I take it the move was OK?

The longer the better for me. Even DP jokes he would keep her in until she's 10. I completely understand why people do move babies out but it juts works for us.

My Dm supports it thankfully so I will only hear it from one side. Just need to take it with a pinch of salt.

We moved DS when he was one. As he was still waking alot through the night. Moved without much issues.

I wouldn’t worry - just do what feels best for you.
I didn’t put my son in his own room until he was 10 months old. I just wasn’t ready to do it yet.
Had no problems when it came to him going into his room - it was just me who kept waking up to go in and check on him quite often as I found it so weird he wasn’t next to me in his cot!

My twins have just turned a year and they still sleep in with us. I’m co sleeping though as they are still both breastfeeding.

We’ve had pressure from family regarding moving out, all of which I have politely ignored Our current arrangement is the only way I can get enough sleep to not be dead on my feet. My opinion is that unless your MIL is actually sleeping in your bedroom at night then she doesn’t get to have an opinion. Do what feels right for your family😊

With my oldest I had to share a room with her until she was 2 and she would usually end up bedsharing with me which I hated. It wasn't too difficult to move her to her own room when we moved to a bigger place but she still would bedshare part of the night for years.

With my youngest I moved him to his own room at 13 months and he started sleeping much better once I did. It wasn't hard to get him used to the new room at that age and I would do the same, or maybe a month or two earlier, if I were to do it again.

Hearing all these stories is such a relief. Thank you! Just what I needed to hear.

I guess it was just the done thing in those days and as long as that's all there is to it I will happily ignore, smile and nod. I know she has the best intentions but the advice still gets on my nerves at times l.

@Rarfy I’ve learned in the past year that a large part of parenting involves smiling, nodding and ignoring

I am slowly coming to realise this

My own DM is obsessed with DD having a rusk. I wouldn't even say I'm particularly fussy with what she eats I mean I try for the best but she has chocolate and stuff from time to time I just don't see why I need to give her a rusk or when I would give her one. She also told me to get her on three meals a day and if she doesn't want her milk so be it. Yep, took no notice of that one as well.