Toys are genderless

[Kiki92]

So, what are your opinions on this?

I wholeheartedly agree with it, and follow it with my DS (15 months). He plays with dolls, cars, building blocks, puzzles etc. But his favourite toy is a miniature pink pushchair that he likes to load up with toys and dolls and push around. It's a non issue in our house. He's happy, so I'm happy.

My in laws however, all but hit the roof when they came over and saw DS playing with this. "You'll turn him gay," they said deadpan, and it took all of my strength not to self combust.

I'm planning on buying him a play kitchen for Christmas as he loves to play with his cousin's one. Again, the in-laws have l condemned this idea.

I ignore them now. DS likes what he likes and it doesn't matter. Why should anyone be pigeonholed into a stereotype?

What do you think?

Good god are people still saying that nonsense. My eldest is 26 she liked cars and dinosaurs and my stepdad used to come away with all sorts of rubbish shoulda been a boy blah de blah both Dds went on to like Marvel and Batman again with the rubbish! Let your son play with whatever

Point out to them that the majority of top Michelin starred chefs are male.

Yes, because he might grow up to be one of those men who cooks and takes care of their own children. Differing from FIL, I would guess.

But it's not even comparable to what will happen of you buy a girl baby some toy cars. Next thing you know, she'll be driving and wants her own bank account..

They’re clearly a bit low on intellect. I wouldn’t even bother coming up with a witty retort. Their opinions are worthless.

I bought my daughters a train set and a car garage! That said the only thing that they made with Lego were hotels for their dolls so I bought them a dolls house in the end. Dd1 is still girly in taste but dd2 is an engineer!

Your in-laws sound thick. I’d pull them up on their homophobic behaviour every single time. Does your dh not say anything to them when they do this?

The best thing you can do for your ds is to raise him to be inclusive of people, whatever their likes and dislikes are. And get him the play kitchen!

Sounds like my in laws!
PIL bought a little tikes police car when nephew1 was born, the SIL had B/G twins so wanted another 1. I found a spotless 2nd hand (pink and purple car) and MIL declined it in case "any more boys come along"

Funnily enough, I'm now pg and having a girl!

It's the man of this house who does all the cooking so my boys had a kitchen to be like daddy!

My in laws however, all but hit the roof when they came over and saw DS playing with this. "You'll turn him gay," they said deadpan, and it took all of my strength not to self combust.

The response to this is to tilt your head and ask your FIL curiously if he would be gay right now if he had been given a doll as a child.

I’ve got a DD & a DS who are very close in age. They both play with all the toys we have.
Dinosaurs, trucks, play kitchen, dolls, dressing up etc - they both just get amongst it.
Kids don’t have any concept of “this is for girls, and that is for boys” unless they are taught that by adults!!

I think your in-laws are fuckwits who should be totally ignored, unless they say any of that in front of your son, in which case I'd have to say something along the lines of, if you say that again in front of him it'll be the last time you see him.

Does/did your husband ever play with or hold his son as a baby? Did it turn him gay? I would actually question FIL if he says that again.

My FIL once commented on something DS was playing with as ‘girlie’. MIL told him to shut up 😁 I just said ‘no, nothing is ‘girlie’ ‘.

The sad thing is, as soon as he started school everything did become ‘boys stuff’ and ‘girlie stuff’. I continue to correct him at home! He’s now nearly 8 and we just saw the Dora movie (he was obsessed when he was younger) and he loved it. I was happy that he didn’t see it as ‘girlie’ so we must be doing something ok

Oh OP, don't you know that even looking at a play kitchen makes little boy's penis's fall off?! Gordon Ramsey looks like action man without his pants on.

What a pair of bigots.

The IKEA play kitchen is excellent if you're looking for one - it's been played with every day by my DS.

As a kid I loved batman, star wars, wrestling figures, toy guns, tractors etc. I also enjoyed pulling the heads off my sisters dolls and making her cry (ah, sibling love). There is no way anyone could have persuaded me to play with a ‘girls’ toy.

Yet as an adult my favourite thing to play with is men.

My son likes ‘girls’ toys and ‘boys’ toys, he loves soft fluffy things, nursery has some feather boa’s and he often walks around with one on (I’m sure he looks fabulous). I was called in to nursery in March as he was showing some concerning behaviour, they were essentially saying the same as your inlaws, I pointed out that he can’t actually catch the gay from me, or a feather boa and even if he could who cares? It’s not like he would catch nazism or extreme couponing.

I also asked if they were also speaking to parents of girls playing with cars etc as that obviously means they will be lesbians.

Love this

My dd (18 months) has mix of anything we get given/buy second hand, my old doll, soft toys, Duplo, a blue balance bike etc.

My ndn 3 year old ds came home from a recent baby clothes swap with a bright green tutu (the full thing including leotard not just skirt) and proudly but it on in front of half a dozen visitors! He looked so happy with his find! He is also obsessed by vehicles and the most awesome cyclist (pedals no stabilisers) already.

Toys are definitely genderless, tell your ILs to get a grip!

My reply would be

GAY?? And so what if he is ! Get over yourselves ! Do men not have babies ? Do men not push prams when they have children? Grow up!

Same with the kitchen! How is DS meant to learn about cooking for himself!! I didn't realise being able to navigate around a kitchen as a male made you instantly gay, FIL do you use lube when MIL gives it ?

It pisses me of because there is nothing wrong with being gay anyway but pushing a bloody pram round is going to make him like boys is it 🤦🏻‍♀️

My friends partner is like this, won't let his son play with a baby doll even though he loves them. To add, father is so insecure with his masculinity...
My OH is very secure in his masculinity and has no objection to children playing with whatever toys they like. Confident secure men don't think there are conditions or rules to follow to be a 'real' man.

Oh god, people like these really piss me off.

Last year in november my mother asked me for present suggestions for my toddler for christmas (he was 16 months last christmas). I suggested a doll buggy, because I was sure he'd love it planned to get one for him. My mother was shocked, saying she is surely not buying a doll buggy for a boy. I just rolled my eyes and asked what she thinks would happen - might he possibly in the future become a father and push his children arlund in a pram? That would be really horrible!
My mother reacted in a way that made me assume she got it. So a couple of weeks later, when there was a lovely doll buggy (grey, not pink) on offer in a shop, I called her and asked her if she'll get it for him, otherwise I'll buy it. She still maintained she will not buy this for a boy.

She got him a huge puzzle instead. He already had puzzles like these (these simple wooden ones for toddlers with a small knob on top) and also he's very bad at puzzles and has of yet to master the simpler ones (with the big knob and the picture of the puzzle piece in the hole where the pieceshould go). Therefore he has not played with this gift yet - 8 months after he got it.
Guess what he plays with almost every single day since christmas?

The sad thing is, as soon as he started school everything did become ‘boys stuff’ and ‘girlie stuff’.
We had this happen too, it is sad isn't it?

It’s sad because they obviously get it from other children, who just get it from home

Must, not just!