(Incoming long story) So I was dating a guy for a few months, who I thought was everything I’d ever wanted. Yes we both liked a drink, him a lot more than me - I’m 20, he’s 29 and things were all fine. Until I find out I was pregnant and just instantly went cold turkey, quit smoking, stopped drinking. Basically stepped up to the role expected from me without hesitation. He however went down hill, kept drinking, and smoking, and driving like a reckless rally driver. I kept asking him to cut down and be careful and help me out...he would make promise after promise but never have anything to show for it. Things got progressively worse when he got completely smashed one night and wouldn’t let my Dad drive him back to ours from the pub, he drove himself (3ish min journey) I then told him to leave his car at mine and except our offer of paying for a taxi for him, back to his (15min journey). He wasn’t having it and I ended up snapping at him because he just wouldn’t listen (expected...particularly when your sober and dealing with a drunk) he ended up getting in his car and driving home. And then continuously called me shouting all forms of abuse at me down the phone, calling me every name under the sun, and having a go because I’d snapped at him...(again can you blame me). We met up a few days later and I told him he needs to seek help for his drink problem and his anger issues (far from the first time i’d seen his anger)...he seemed to take okay to this and agree, particularly since we’re having a child together..only to find out 2 hrs later he’d downed a bottle of something and attempted to commit suicide. I got an ambulance to his house and got him to the hospital...which again he had a go at me for because I “didn’t leave him to die quietly”...he was okay and survived. Few days later I decided I had held on long enough and due to an abusive relationship history...couldn’t allow myself to go back there again, for mine and the babies sake. So I ended it, he then tried to commit suicide again...and accused me of using him for a baby, and being the blame for his suicide attempts.
He has now (3ish weeks later) decided he’s God’s gift and expects me to gain a friendship with him...when frankly I don’t feel safe around him or trust him. He’s manipulative, unstable, aggressive and a drunk.
I’ve tried to make an agreement with him which is that he will have his involvement as father but on my terms...but because apparently “because I’m to blame as well for everything that went on”, basically meaning that I lost my temper a couple times with him (again again...can you blame me!!!), that arrangement isn’t fair enough.
Ideally I don’t want him involved at all. He’s a lose canon, and I would never forgive him or myself if anything were to happen to little one because of his actions.
What do I do?!?!?