My ds2 is 3.5 and can be so lovely but he is also very violent/aggressive and I'm not sure I'm handling it the right way.
He started biting us out of frustration from 1 year old. He also tantrummed a lot and hit us. I spent months concentrating on teaching him to recognise his feelings and helping him learn different techniques to help calm himself down when he's upset or angry. This has worked really well and he's very good now at going off to his room to calm down or have a little sleep if he's getting too tired and he knows if he asks me for a hug I will always give him one. Despite all this the violence has increased.
He bites me a lot and threatens to bite if he doesn't get his own way (despite the fact that this has never worked in his favour!). He knows by now that it hurts me, I've shown him when he's broken the skin and its bleeding but he doesn't seem to be able to empathise yet. He headbutts me a lot, like he will run towards me as though he's coming for a hug but instead he'll headbutt me
hard in the groin - which obviously really fucking hurts! In the past 3 months he has split my lip twice and given me a nose bleed from head butting me. This isn't always from aggression, sometimes he will be cuddled up of my lap and then he'll just suddenly headbutt me or punch me really hard in the face for no apparent reason.
Nothing has changed recently in his life, he has a strong routine and eats and sleeps well. I don't know if I'm handling this right. My older child was never like this and I feel completely out of my depth.