Returning to work.

[rainbowheart]

So I'm returning to work full time on the 7th September, my son will be 10 months old.

I wasn't intending on going back to work full time, possibly part time if at all but a lot of changes happened whilst I was off.

On MAT leave My boss contacted me and asked me to apply for a promotion, i was offered the job with a 10k pay-rise but had to be full time. I accepted, I felt ok at the time, I work in education and so get 12 weeks holiday a year, I justified it to myself by saying that although I'll miss these early years we'll have school holidays together and as he gets older we'll be able to do so many fun things during this time which he will remember.

However now it's getting closer I'm getting more and more anxious. He won't be in childcare as I have amazing family who are having him whilst I work.

I done my KIT days and managed these fine as it was only 1 day a week so in my mind I knew I had a whole 6 days with him.

It's literally just dawned on me that by the time I get home from work we'll only have around 2 hours before bedtime. And obviously the weekends but it just doesn't feel enough.

How do other full time working mums cope? Will I adjust to the new routine, is it bearable or am I going to be miserable?

It is just adjusting.
I used to hate the thought of going back into school EVERY Summer holiday. You get used to being off, and having all day with your dc. Obviously on Maternity leave, that is all you have known. Once you are back at work, after a couple of weeks getting back into routine, it just becomes your 'norm'.
As you say, you have 12 weeks of holiday time to spend with your dc growing up, every year, which not many people do have. It really is a wonderful bonus, and, over the next 20 years, you'll appreciate that.

It is one of those things where the thought of it is FAR worse than the reality

I think lots of Mums dread going back after Mat Leave but it will have its pluses. You'll be able to wee in peace for a start

Like the PP said, the thought of going back is often worse than the reality. I'd just make sure you have a couple of things planned with LO, even if it's just their favourite activity. It will give you something to look forward to

I actually feel like this at the moment. I have one more week left before I go back to work and I just feel so down about it. I know I have to go back so that we can give him the nice things but at the same time I feel like he is learning something new every day and when I go back to work I’m going to miss out on all these things.

@BackforGood
Yes the holidays are the reason I'm doing it! I know those holidays will be what he remembers rather than this first couple of years.

@JiltedJohnsJulie
Good idea, will make fun plans for a Saturday to help me through the week!

@Takingabreak101
It's horrible isn't it, my last couple of weeks have been ruined with the constant feeling of dread!

I agree. I also passionately believe that a good parent is about quality, not quantity.

@KissyThief
I like that thought.. life would be better if I worked. My husband is self employed and so with only his wage coming in it means there are very few luxuries. We can manage on his salary but before my son was born we'd always be out and about with my stepchildren, camping and doing days out. We just can't do it now so they miss out too.
If I work then my husband can take proper holidays and time off whenever he wants it..
I know it's the right thing to do, and my feelings are all about me because I know my LO is well cared for and happy with his grandparents so he probably wouldn't even notice I'm not there! X

I love working full time, but always knew i would go backfull time. Dd is in nursery 5 mornings a wedk, and then with family for afternoons

Towards the end of maternity i was getting quite bored of no real routine, getting to be me again, not just mum is great!

I get home at 4:30/5 and dd goes to bed at 7 and its plenty of time- dunner, play, bath and bed. Then me and my partner get 2 or 3hrs together in the evening.

I absolutely dreaded going back to work. The last 2 weeks of Mat leave I often spent in tears cuddling my little girl. She was 10 months old when I went back.

It actually wasn't that bad. It was nice to have adult company and have a hot cup of tea! I did think about her a lot but as she has got older, I worry less.

I am only 3 days a week but I do wonder would it be better to be full time, go for promotions and have more cash. I've saw several Colleagues get promotions that I would have had a good chance at but didn't go for as full time. I cld have a cleaner, gardener, more holidays etc. Ul always be thinking about the what ifs whether full/part time.

You are lucky that your family are looking after you little one that helps so much, not just with money. They don't get much out of nursery when they are little and often cry at drop off. My girl is only in 1 day a week as we too have family helping with childcare. She's 2 now and often asks to go on my days off now 😂 🙈

Do you find people have opinions on you wanting to work, especially full time?
I've almost been made to feel like I'm wrong for taking this opportunity.. I used to love my job, but the last few years have been awful and I hated it so when I got pregnant I knew I'd never return. However there's been a complete restructure and the people above me who I disliked have gone.. so I feel like I could love my job again.. I was stuck in a rut before but was approached for promotion so I feel there's a real opportunity of progressing and I want this. But people make me feel like I'm choosing my career over my son.. but I feel like I work for him not to avoid him! Having him makes me even more determined to be successful so he gets lots of amazing opportunities!

Try not to overanalyse it too much, I know a lot easier said than done! To be honest a lot of your feelings will be echoed with a lot of working mamas. Try not to give yourself a hard time and hold on to the good and let it empower you!

he will notice your not there and he will develop a lovely relationship with his grandparents. It will be a big transition for you both but it sounds like you’ve given it so much thought that your feeling crap and anxious because you’ve thought it through too much. Just think through how your going to make the transition.