Fussiest of fussy toddler eaters

[Umbongo1]

Please don't shoot me down, but my daughter (just 3 last week) is an appalling eater. She literally will not eat vegetables or fruit, the only way we can get them into her is in smoothie (which I don't like as they are full of sugar). She is as stubborn as a mule and when we've tried the eat it or nothing rule she just wakes us up in the night cos she's hungry. She will eat bread, breakfast cereal, pizza, biscuits, flapjack and basically anything else that's bad for her. I know this is a problem of my own making but HELP!!!!!

The only advice I have is something you've probably tried already but I will say it anyway just in case! Make up her plate to be exactly the same as yours. Eat at the table with her. Show on your face you are enjoying your food. Saying mm this is so yummy. Pay no attention to what she is doing or eating. When you have finished your plate ask her, are you finished? And if she says yes then remove her plate without commenting on what she has eaten. If she asks for something else to eat whilst at the table just reply "this is what we are eating today" and change the topic to something else. You could also try giving her the option of two healthy meals, and whatever she chooses you stick with and do the same as above. With regards to waking up during the night hungry, I'm not sure if giving her a Weetabix before bed would be advisable or not but it's something to consider ☺️

Have you tried involving her cooking? My DD is much more likely to try something if she has cooked it. Homemade pizza is really easy and you can encourage her to add her own toppings.

Put her favourite programme on tv to distract her.
Feed her very soft steamed broccoli mixed with mash. Gradually cut down the mash.
Same for cauliflower.
Experiment with other things.
Not ideal I know but needs must.
I myself have trouble eating but can eat more if it's palatable and I'm distracted.

Also if you make homemade pizza I think you can hide some veg if you blitz it in with the tomato puree. I think Sainsbury have a pizza with hidden veg

DS is like this. You'll get people on here telling you that their kids can't call the shots, they refuse to prep something different etc. No advice just sympathy. It's really stressful.

Keep plugging away within your budget and don't be too hard on yourself.
The stuff that they will eat that you have mentioned is not awful.
Can you make your own smoothies if that is something tolerated. Stick in a spoonful of peanut butter (if peanuts are ok ) for protein and yoghurt/milk and whatever fruits work banana is good. You can stick chopped banana in the freezer and then whizz it into a smoothie to make a cold one. Fruit sugar is better than processed sugar. I actually add a spoonful of chocolate ovaltine in sometimes.

I have one of these 🙋‍♀️ it's horrible. My son won't eat a lot of things. He certainly won't eat meat at all, very few veggies but loves fruit. Unfortunately I've had to on many occasion as just throw his portion of what I've cooked us all and given him a toddler meal.

Two nights ago was chicken korma, cut the chicken really small and he still ate around it but only ate five measly small spoonfuls of rice and sauce.
He'll occasionally eat pizza, loves pasta most of the time and those Heinz tins of pasta. Will occasionally touch fish fingers but only if we serve those on there own before chips otherwise he'll just have chips and no fish. Chicken nuggets don't go down well very often either :(

thought about buying veggie things for him recently to see if that was the issue, how do you know if a 2yr old has a meat aversion, how do they know they don't like meat at that age?!

Unfortunately he is more than happy to eat anything sweet both healthy and unhealthy.

I constantly feel like banging my head against a wall when he doesn't like or want what I've made. I can't leave him to starve. I'm just hoping he'll grow out of it by the time his baby brother has arrived and started solids that maybe he'll be a bit more reasonable.

Thanks so much everyone for the good ideas I'll give them a try. It's good to know it's not just me too. :)

Oh op. It's exactly same in our house at the moment only I have twins. 2y 8m. I bloody dread mealtimes. No advice but shamelessly following for help and ideas. It's no fun. I just hope it's a phase

Definitely try and get her involved in cooking the meal. Pizza as mentioned before is good. Also things like fajita. We let DS choose what to put on as long as there's 2 types of veg.
Could you try a reward chart for trying new foods?
We have also tried weird veg Wednesdays where we buy some more unusual veg and all try it together. Choosing the veg at the supermarket is part of the fun.
Good luck, it can be frustrating.

Mine is the fussiest. I was losing the will to live but a chance dentist visit revealed his tongue tie was causing him issues moving food around his mouth. It explains why he won’t eat anything saucy. The full list of things he’ll eat are:

Chicken nuggets without the bread but not normal chicken
Fine green beans
Potato waffles
Burger patties
Chips
Very soft steak
Medium egg noodles - very specific! His favourite food type
Rarely, clumped-up egg rice

Nothing else. He has surprised me in the past by eating something only to never touch it again.

I just wanted to add that since understanding why he has issues it has significantly relaxed my mindset around meal times. That and children need carbs more than other things, which changes as they grow older. Give your dc vitamins, tiny portions (I mean literally one green bean/spoonful of cauliflower rice etc at a time) and just ignore what they do with it. Ignore it. They won’t die with vitamins backing you up. Let them get over their fear of unknown foods without any pressure.

...if they’re anything like my toddler, maybe leave a carrot stick on the floor to discover by themselves 🤷‍♀️ He’s never afraid of trying to eat random crap off the floor

I know it feels awful now but almost no children are this fussy forever. Keep offering things and don’t make a big deal about whether they are refused or not. Don’t make a huge song and dance if she DOES try new things either - just let her either try or not in her own time. Always serve new foods alongside a food you know she’ll try, and if she refuses to try something then still serve it the next time too in case she changes her mind.

If she’ll eat pizza that’s great - make your own sauce with blended carrot, courgette, peppers, onions and celery in the tomato sauce so she’s getting extra veg, and then you can play at putting different veggies on top to make it into things.

I take it he won't eat soup? DD is very fussy and, on top of that won't be guaranteed to eat the same meal two nights running , but will generally eat soup, so at least she gets veg through that. I give her fruit purée pouches (the ones for babies) to up her vitamins intake when she's going through a 'no fruit' phase.

I'm taking comfort in my (now adult) nephew who was very fussy eater as a child. Went on to study chef/professional kitchen work and did a thesis as part of that on international alternatives to the UK diet.

Make "ice cream" from whizzed up banana and fruit and a little full fat milk or cream, make "pizza sauce" from tomatoes and veggie blended together, use the same sauce on pasta and over chicken. My biggest tip though is to eat together, the younger you start the better, and everyone eats the same. Let her help prepare dinner. I had a super fussy child I know it's hard but they come through it with perseverance - she would help me make dinner from 3 or so, partly to stop her trying to throttle her little sister but it helped, she could cut mushrooms for instance and mix etc (takes longer but worth it)

Echoing what others have said: try not to make a big deal over it!

Ours went through a “beige food” phase, and we waited it out while doing the following:

• involving her in cooking. She has a chopping board and a (not sharp, dinner) knife . I give her a piece of whatever veg I’m chopping for her to chop too and after a while of doing this curiosity got the better of her and now she’ll stand and munch on a tomato while we are chopping the food! Or pepper, lettuce, spinach... I never thought we’d see the day! Then at the table I eat my portion going “mmm this is yummy! Did you make this? Wow what a great cook” and she eats loads now!

• after a while of this, where some things were a success and she was trying more new things (veg), we implemented a rule of as long as she TRIES each thing that’s ok . So even if she put a pea in her mouth and then spat it out again, wed aceept that. After a while she just ate one bite of each thing quite happily

• now we can make a deal. “If you eat 5 spoonfuls of this you can have your yoghurt” and if she doesn’t - no yoghurt. She quickly realised it was worth forcing herself to eat the veg to get the yummy thing!

My only other tip is maybe try something like fajitas with lots of veg/salad to help yourself to. My dd loves this as she can choose what she has in her wrap (but it’s all healthy!) , build the wrap etc . Initially she would then take out all the fillings and just eat the plain wrap but after a few times of “you have to have one bite of this to get your pudding” she will happily munch away on it

I realise these things might not work for your DD but thought I’d share what has worked for us!

I have total sympathy with you OP and we have very similar issues with my 3yo. We have tried literally everything listed here and I genuinely think that either children are a little bit fussy and will therefore succumb to these sorts of tips. OR they are very determined not to eat anything new and nothing will work until they decide to do it for themselves. We're in the latter camp unfortunately and have given in to hiding veg very cleverly in things, but keeping to offer a variety, until he decides for himself to try them. Tips like "hide broccoli in mash " make me lol. That's all well and good if your child eats anything remotely like mash! And even if my 3yo ate mash he'd spot that a mile off and would never eat mash again.

Hit an all time low today when I made 'broccoli flapjack' in an attempt to smuggle some fruit and veg into my daughter ha ha ha. When's wine o clock?!?

Haha if it works, it works!

If he’s hungry I’d push protein op - cheese, peanut butter, meat. Also would brown bread work as it’s got more fibre so will keep him full up longer. What about beans and cheese on brown toast? You could cover the toast so he doesn’t even twig. Or mashed banana pancakes with peanut butter?

In regards to fruit and veg, i’d just keep offering...put a teeny tiny portion on his plate along with food he definitely likes, and don’t make any fuss about him eating it. Just exposure and no drama will introduce him to other foods. Also, he’ll be fine if he doesn’t eat it, and will get there eventually.

Oops, you have a dd, not a ds!

when we've tried the eat it or nothing rule she just wakes us up in the night cos she's hungry.

Do you feed her when she does this?

I hear ya. My DS is 18 months and won't eat fruit or veg unless it's hidden in stuff.
Pasta goes down well with sauce -made wit broccoli, cabbage, kale, carrot and passata-.
There's nothing wrong with broccoli flapjacks.
I like to tell myself that when they're strapping teens clearing the cupboards, we will look back on these days fondly 🙄

If that fussy let her have the smoothie, nutritionally they're getting the fibre and vitamins etc which their body will appreciate. Studies show the body doesn't sugar spike as bad with fructose over glucose so I wouldn't worry to hard unless they're drinking pints of the stuff haha?

Chuck some spinach in and have a "hulk" smoothie perhaps. Hide veg in "tater tots", recipes online. Blend veg in pasta sauces amd pizza sauce, carrot gives natural sweetness.

Don't have biscuits and flapjacks in the house. With my daughter I had to introduce new things by doi g it with her. We looked at it, talked about what it was called and where it came from, smelled it, touched it then tasted it.

Worked sometimes, she's still fussy with a lot of foods and textures at 5, but eats loads more than she did or will at least try.