"Bilingual" DS help

[TheAgeofAnxiety]

DS turned 2 in July.

DH and I are from mainland Europe and speak our language at home with him. He goes to full time nursery and we were advised to let him learn English outside, so that he could separate the environments (clearly we can't apply the OPOL method) and also not absorb our mistakes.

But he speaks VERY little. He says FOUR words in my language - mummy, daddy, grape (which he loves) and plane (we see a lot in our area). In English he points to objects and lists the related colours and more or less that's it, although he knows numbers, animals and many alphabet letters, which he guesses correctly by pushing the right buttons on toys.

He doesn't stay still to listen to me reading, but he likes music and me singing so I sing to him a lot, not only nursery rhymes.

I just came across the FB post of a former colleague now working in Germany, there is the birthday video of his August born (same year) toddler who makes complete sentences - mixing up our language with German, yes, but complete sentences!

I'm panicking. Please give me some suggestions!

TIA

I would go to the GP and ask for a referral for a hearing test.

My suggestion is to relax. He's only little and still processing 2 languages. My DS barely said a word until he was 3 and then only spoke English (home language). He's now 6 and bilingual, although his teachers say he sometimes uses English grammar with his second language.

2 is still very young. DS was barely talking then (maybe 10-15 words if we were lucky) and chats away brilliantly now at 3. I would relax, but plan to see health visitor if no progress in next few months.

Ask your health visitor for a language assessment. Just be prepared to bust some myths if you come across them.

"bilingual children are slower to learn to speak"

• not according to research. They should still be assessed as any other child and offered speech therapy if they are not meeting milestones. Don't be fobbed off with the idea that it's normal for bilingual kids to be slower, if he needs help, that's fine. If this is normal, also fine. What you should do is answer the questionnaire using his knowledge across languages, not just his English knowledge. So count total number of words including both English and German words, don't only count English words.

"you need to stop the German, it's confusing him and he'll learn English better without it"

• don't stop a language. There's no evidence that dropping one will improve the other and you risk losing the language you've been told to drop long term which would be a huge shame.

Are you communicating for him and taking away his need to speak?

My son is bilingual, we speak Urdu at home and he speaks English at pre-school/when we read English story books. He spoke very little until about 2 3/4, a big problem was that I was taking away his need to speak by figuring out what he wanted etc, when I stopped that he soon started using his words.

DP's DS is bilingual French and English (and I think his XW speaks a third language just to muddle things up). He didn't really start speaking either language super well until after he moved to the older kid room at nursery here (they move at 30 months) and then it was like a different kid overnight. So I wouldn't stress too much.

Both my children didn’t start speaking properly until three but obviously progressed at a much faster pace than children who started earlier.

In our family we only have one language. My son spoke very little at 2. Really only said about 5 words. He is 12 now and never stops talking.
We did our own hearing assessment by whispering “ do you want some chocolate cake “ from the other side of the room!
Give him time.

The method you are using BTW has a name, it is called "minority language at home" or MLH. OPOL is not necessarily the best or only method to use.

Sorry I realise I assumed your language you were using was German, I mixed up the point of your

I do think 10-15 words (if you count the four in your language + I'm guessing 6+ colours in English?) is definitely within normal for a 2yo though so maybe you don't need to worry yet. Don't forget there is always a huge range of normal between development - for example some babies will be walking at 10 months while others will be barely crawling. Likewise with speech some children just pick it up faster than others.

I find this a useful resource.

www.talkingpoint.org.uk/

www.thepiripirilexicon.com/2017/02/10-frequently-asked-questions-about.html

Is this your first bilingual baby?

If so, chill

DD is 2.5 and is bilingual (as it were) English /French. Majority language is French. She's been speaking properly (in French) for around two months. Understands English perfectly, but has yet to use full English sentences.

This was also the case with DS. From 2.5 months until he turned 3 he spoke only in French, but understood English. Once he turned 3 he spoke English also. Separating the language, my two have never mixed up their languages.

The main thing you have to do is continue speaking to him in 'your' language, even when he speaks to you in English.

2 is still so young to be speaking 1 language!

you need to stop the German, it's confusing him and he'll learn English better without it"

^^
But he won't learn German?

I echo the others, too early to worry. My DD had a few words in English before starting nursery, which was in another language, and she spoke very little or with made up words until she was 2 and a half-ish. She absolutely understood everything though. Then she spoke only in Italian, replied in Italian when I asked questions in English etc. and I was beginning to despair that she would ever speak English. At just over 3 she suddenly one day started explaining how to use a mobile phone to her gran in perfect English, full sentences and all.

My friend’s DS spoke a lot more at 2 and a half but would mix up languages, he would say apple in Italian but table in English.

Every child is different and you just have to be patient. My DD is now in her teens and is perfectly bilingual with a wide vocabulary in both languages. The important thing is, does he understand you when you give instructions (eg. Put your shoes on, hang up your coat, go get the ball to take to the park etc.)? If so there is no problem.

Way back when my oldest was 2, he had a 2 year health visitor check. The target was 10 words. He wasnt meeting it. We are a majority English house, but DH tried to bring as much of his first language as he could. I believe this target is a bit tougher now.
About 3 months later, his language just exploded, and he was very quickly speaking sentances.

I'd go and talk to a HV, get his hearing checked, and otherwise just continue doing what you are doing.

managedmis I think you've misunderstood that post. Bertie has a list of myths, and why you shouldn't listen to some advise - not speaking the second language being one of the myths.

Thanks everyone - should I expect to be called by the HVs for the second year health check so that I can flag it up there, or is that not a thing anymore and I should call?

No I misread the op and thought her own language was German, when it's not. You're right though I was pointing out myths people like to tell you when you have a bilingual child :)

Developmental checks vary by area, so you might want to call if you're not sure what's offered on your area

The thing about bi- or multilingal children starting to speak later on average isn't a myth though, is it?