19 month old DD cannot stand yet, advice

[SamJay1990]

Hi all,

My daughter is 19 months old and cannot crawl, stand or walk. She bum shuffled using her right arm behind her and legs bent, she has mastered this method of movement and is extremely quick on her bottom.

She has a referral to see the paediatrics at the hospital in October. Our GP hasn't said much, just to await to appointment which is an assessment.

Her father isn't concerned about her lack of gross motor skills, but I really am. I guess I've done more research which has made me panic. She can only weight bear when holding onto a table but is very unsteady, she cannot get herself into the standing position. She cannot stand if we hold her hands and is no where near taking a step. Her legs go from very wobbly/bendy to very straight and stiff. She doesn't seem to be in any pain.

All other aspects of her development are fine, her speech is great, social skills and fine motor are perfect.

I'm finding it increasingly difficult to deal with when people laugh at the way she moves, and say "can she not stand up? How old is she" it really upsets me I guess because I'm so concerned about it, I know they mean no harm, but I just wish people wouldn't look so much, at play groups.

She's a big girl tall for her age, so I guess it does look 'odd' for her to be bottom shuffling. It's upsetting that she is unable to play with others her age as they just ignore her being on the floor, she tries to get involved but cannot keep up.

I find I'm spending all my time thinking and worrying about this, yet I know there's nothing I can do.

Anyone else been in a similar situation and what was the outcome? Also any advice on dealing with my emotions when people ask questions, sometimes I feel silly for being this emotional about it, but I can't help it.

Thanks x

DD is also 19 months (20 months this week). She is a little ahead but not much. She only rolled at a year, crawled at 16 months and only started pulling herself up about a month ago. She is also a bum shuffler although alternates it with crawling now.

A few months ago she was in hospital with a virus on her chest and it came up when the doctor took a full history. He said one of his was a bum shuffler and nearly 2 before she walked and not to worry because bum shufflers are always slow to walk.

She does now walk with a walker and holding hands but this only started within the last 4-5 weeks. 2 days ago she stood up from sitting on my knee to free standing for about 5 seconds and it was very exciting!

Hope that helps a bit, it sounds like your DD is very similar and could catch up at any time.

I guess that assessment in October will be the best place to start. Any advice from your HV?

It's not exactly the same but my DS didn't walk till 16 months and has no words yet but is big for his age so I get "the look" or questions from other parents too. So frustrating and at times upsetting so I understand partly how you feel.

My DD was exactly the same and did not weight bare at all or pull herself up, also barely rolled onto stomach. She was a bum shuffler also, tall for her age and ahead in all other aspects except the walking. I remember feeling very left out when going to soft play or baby groups where everyone’s else child was running around and there was mine just sitting and then shuffling along. Her nursery at the time kept her in the baby room, rather than move her up into the next room as she was ‘not walking’ even though she was more than ready in all other aspects - we did not stay at that nursery for much longer!

The health visitors did not seem too concerned, even though I took her all the time to be checked and they just said wait and she will walk in her own time and only come back after she is 2 years, if still not walking and they will make a referral.

They were right and at 22 months she just got up and started walking with no prompting. She is now 9 and has never had any mobility problems and is a very active girl.

I know it is hard and I remember feeling wretched about it and hated seeing other children her age run around and not include her so completely understand. Also from her point of view as a bum shuffler she has it made. She can move and talk directly to a person, move and eat, move and hold a toy and move and see where she is going. She will finally realise that it would be quicker and easier to walk and will just get up and go for it.

See if you can get an appointment sooner
Ask to be on call for any cancellation appt
Ask gp to.refer to community physiotherapist for advice
You could also see a private physio or paediatrician for an opinion sooner then take the info with you to NHS appt

Definitely best to get everything checked but my girl was the same. Was 21/22 months before she stood. Now 4 and a half and absolutely no issues. Prob ahead of where her brother was at this point.

There isn’t as much drive for bottom shufflers to move to standing as they can get about carrying stuff whereas crawlers can’t as easily.

My DS only stood at 19 months, very wobbly at that. He is now an extremely active (and graceful) 12 year old. He can run 5K, he plays cricket, rugby, football and is a mean disco dancer.

Please try not to worry. She will get there, and the assessment will hopefully put your mind at rest.

My nephew and son were both bum shufflers they took longer to walk than most but got up and walked when they were ready.They are now both healthy adults. It is difficult because they don’t fit the perceived norm but they were both quite happy as they were which was they main thing.

I was a bum shuffler. Late to walk but talking in sentences by a year ... dc can’t do everything all at once.

Contact hv if you are worried.

I had two late-ish walkers (18 & 19mo) one of whom was a bum-shuffler.

I would moan to all and sundry and so many people told me they had a child, or a nephew, or a grandchild, who didn’t walk until they were 22/ 24 months. Usually accompanied with a tale of how they got going really quickly once they finally cracked it. It happens a lot and I was also told by the public health nurse (similar to a HV) that anything up to 24 months is normal.

Thanks everyone for the responses it really does help. I'm thinking to ask about physiotherapy, I think it's more that she cannot pull to stand, or stand even assisted very well than the not walking. If I sit her in her toddler chair she cannot adjust herself to get out of it, if I hold her underarms on a bed for example and try get her to bounce she won't bend at the knee instead keeps her legs locked straight out. Just a few things that seem off, but as has been mentioned she feels like ages done it she's very happy on her bottom, can move quickly and carry things with her, so there's no incentive to get up. We do try with different things to encourage her, aswell as playgroup and being around other children, but I get the impression she thinks they're the ones doing it wrong

Her HV advised me to see a GP due to her not being able to pull to stand, but didn't seem overly concerned. I guess it's easy to feel like your child is the only one not walking especially because I've never saw a bottom shuffler before, and by the look on most people's faces they haven't either! But these replies do help reassure me she may just be taking longer than others..

Thanks again

You say the other children don't play as she's on the floor, but in my experience children are often selfish before around 3 years of age and doubt they notice how she's moving. If they don't play it maybe more due the fickle nature of young children. I wonder if she is really bothered herself.

Adults tend to do all the worrying. It's hard not to worry, but try not to put this on her.

My first didn't move in any way before 14 months, she just wanted to sit or be carried and then sofa surfed with lots of help over many months. It didn't matter that she never rolled or crawled or shuffled, she just didn't like it. She isn't a keen walker now as a teen but always a chatterbox and doing well at secondary

I've never thought of it that way, you're right. I've no doubt it doesn't bother her in the slightest, she's very happy scooting about on her bottom and is much faster than most on their feet! I guess it's when they're toddling about getting on the trikes, pushing things along and climbing the soft play equipment I feel she's missing out.
On the other hand she's a very happy bright little girl, loves reading her books and knows her numbers, colours, animals etc she's very keen to learn.

I think it's just the not knowing for sure yet that there's no underlying issue, a few people have commented on her feet seeming to stick outwards, and when trying to stand her up one leg will turn out and bend at the knee, her balance is none existent at the moment, we keep trying little things with her each day but I think we're just a nuisance to her as she's no interest in being on her feet

People may critise me here, but have you tried bribery? My eldest was also a non-toddling toddler at 13 months, although was crawling and cruising, I bribed her with a pringle! If she walked to me she could have one and same if she walked back to her dada! She started walking that evening lol. Perhaps leave some chocolate or another trear somewhere she'll have to pull herself up too after showing her its there?

You really need to get a review from a paediatric physio in order to see if there is underlying issue that needs addressing.
Ask gp to refer to community physio or pay for a private session... the sooner you know for sure the better either to treat or to use techniques like bribery.
.. For every 99 " it wasn't anything " one will have a serious or non serious condition which needs professional input.....dont wait.

Her feet sticks out
She has no balance
So she needs physio and paediatric review

...and 13 months is not a delay...19 months is for not weight bearing and balancing...two of mine have hyper mobility and walked late after two both needed physio

Embracelife She has an appointment in October. There's no need to panic and start chasing people to get one earlier than that.

The OP is concerned and may benefit from earlier appt. Not a panic.
But There are some signs there may be an underlying issue that at very least needs physio input. Sooner is better to avoid bad habits causing further issues or strain.
No harm in asking to be on list for a cancellation appt or pursuing earlier appt/getting an opinion before NHS appt.

My daughter sat up unassisted at 9 months then didn't move by herself at all until 14 months (not even bum shuffling), when she suddenly started crawling. She couldn't (or wouldn't) bear her weight on her legs until she was 19 months, she stood up for the first time at 20 months and finally walked at 22 months. She is now 12 and is an elite gymnast

Thanks guys, I am going to see her GP next week and ask about community physio and or a cancellation app. Because truthfully I am concerned, in the sense that I feel it is more than just a delay, but that's just my gut feeling which could be clouded by unnecessary worry. As I said her father didn't share the same concerns, that was until he came to playgroup and saw just how far behind she is with her gross motor. I told him to pay attention to her legs/feet when we try to get her to stand, it just doesn't seem right to me. However her legs work perfectly fine for pushing herself along the floor on her back or for propelling herself on her bottom.

I think I know what my concern has been for a while now, mild cerebral palsy. Our 12 week scan with DD showed an enlarged brain ventricle which had to be monitored with regular scans, but eventually went down to an acceptable level, I've had worries since then I think. I could be wrong and it may be a case of some physio, special shoes etc if potentially hypermobile.

I will update this thread for anyone else with the same situation, but thanks the replies do help as I don't talk to people about it due to the same responses or 'look at her there's nothing wrong with her' or 'shes just lazy'

I think that’s a good idea, op. You know her best. If there is a problem, getting an appt and getting the ball moving is a good idea. Wishing you and dd all the best.

With mine I moved things out of reach sometimes. So that favourite book on a 'high' shelf, somewhere that he had to make an effort to reach, to get what he wanted, by pulling himself up. Might this help her to practice, developing her muscles and balance?

We had a late walker. 10 years later, still behind with gross motor skills.
We had physio, OT, special shoes etc.
It's so worrying when you're watching everyone else and thinking how different your child is.
But now I don't think of it as something "wrong", it's just absolutely part of who my DC is.

Hopefully your Dd will get up and walk soon and never look back though.

Don't worry... she's just beating to a different drum bless her 😁 perhaps she just enjoys bum shuffling?

If everything else about her is just fine perhaps just roll your eyes and put it down to laziness?! 🙄

She's fine... they all do things in their own time, not ours.

Of course she is fine.
But she may still have some underlying issue which needs treatment.
She needs a full assessment.