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Parenting

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Original poster

I feel like I’m being a bad parent!

15 replies

tripletmum8 · 19/08/2019 22:34

Just had a call from dh that my 5 year old dd has been having a meltdown since 7 because she really wants to go to her friends birthday party tomorrow but we won’t let her go. Reason being she has never received a vaccination as she was quite ill as a baby and still has a lowered immune system ( we are hoping as she gets older she will get vaccinated) and I am aware there is at least 2 children going to the party who are not vaccinated (their parents opted out) and due to the recent measles outbreak ( with a known case of measles near us) and our meningitis scare a couple of years ago I am really anxious about letting her around children not vaccinated until the measles outbreak has calmed down. Should I let her go or am I making the right decision? It’s hard to explain this to a 5 year old.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Chickenish · 19/08/2019 22:59

Some things are just parenting. A 5 year old will not understand everything, so you can try to distract her, but she won’t really understand it until she is older.

P.S. meltdowns are really really normal.

SmartPlay · 20/08/2019 12:04

This story is a perfect example of how fucking antisocial antivaxxers are. Invite the parents of those two children to your house and let them talk to your daughter.

Such idiots make me so mad! I feel really sorry for your little girl, and for you as well :(

NeedingAdvice29 · 20/08/2019 12:23

At 5 is she not already in school/reception?

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NeedingAdvice29 · 20/08/2019 12:25

Just trying to understand why she can’t go to a party but can mix with children in an educational setting.

Anti vaxxers don’t deserve children but unfortunately there will most likely be a few in her school. I’m sorry that your daughter was too ill to receive her vaccinations at the time, is it not possible to have them done now though?

Atlasta · 20/08/2019 12:36

There could be issues around why the other two children aren't vaccinated.
It's also the parents (albeit selfish ) choice.
I'd be concerning myself with getting my own child vaccinated and it's not really their fault your DD isnt so can't attend the party.
Your DC could still pick things up off vaccinated children anyway and is likely to with low immune so I'd be thinking she's at risk whether these two kids are there or not.
I'd be worried about her mixing with friends anywhere rather than just at this one-off party.

SmartPlay · 20/08/2019 12:41

Oh, btw ... it might be to late now, since the party is today, but I'd try to make a special day for your daughter as some sort of comfort. Something she really enjoys but doesn't get to do often.

Original poster

tripletmum8 · 20/08/2019 13:16

She’s normally fine to go to school and should get vaccinated in the next year, sometimes has to have days off but is definitely getting better, luckily she’s never picked up anything really serious which is lucky since we have 3 other children (who are vaccinated). She didn’t go to the party but my parents have a massive attic full of play equipment so we’ve let her play there as much as she wants today with some cousins.

OP posts:

surreygirl1987 · 20/08/2019 13:48

Yes I'm a bit confused too... are all the children in her school vaccinated? If not, why is this party different?

SmartPlay · 20/08/2019 15:00

"Yes I'm a bit confused too... are all the children in her school vaccinated? If not, why is this party different?"

She wrote that there is a measles outbreak close to them and of course she doesn't take the chances in this case!

School is a completely different matter, because in order to protect the girl completely, she'd have to be homeschooled - which simply isn't possible for many families - and excluded entirely from her peers.

OrangeSwoosh · 20/08/2019 15:03

But how is school different? OP can't possibly know the vaccination status of every child in the school that hers may come into contact with.

SmartPlay · 20/08/2019 15:17

"But how is school different? OP can't possibly know the vaccination status of every child in the school that hers may come into contact with."

I'm not the OP, obviously, but I'd say a school is different because it's a must (in a way) and because not going to school would exclude her daughter entirely.
OP also mentioned that her daughter occasionally had to take days off from school. I understood that the way that she stayed at home due to something going around in the area that would be dangerous to her.

surreygirl1987 · 20/08/2019 23:00

Okay, fair enough about the measles outbreak- I must have missed that bit.

I'm still confused about school in general though... if it's deemed safe enough for a child to go to school for 6+ hours a day, 5 times a week, then I can't imagine a couple of hours at a party would significantly add to the risk (in times when there's not a measles outbreak obvs)! OP's choice though!

SmartPlay · 21/08/2019 07:20

" I can't imagine a couple of hours at a party would significantly add to the risk (in times when there's not a measles outbreak obvs)!"

OP didn't write anything about her daughter generally not being allowed to attend parties.

surreygirl1987 · 21/08/2019 23:46

Well that's good at least! If I was that worried I'd probably be keeping her off school too though 🤷‍♀️ well, each to their own!

TheSheepofWallSt · 21/08/2019 23:54

I actually think you are being a bit silly OP; you’re presumably not going to keep her off school next month, measles outbreak locally or no- so why is the party different?

I had an unwell baby who necessarily had delayed vaccinations, and we live in an area where there were multiple cases of measles; I did worry occasionally about him catching something, so I sympathise, but equally think you’re being OTT.

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