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Original poster

Fell downstairs with 5MO

13 replies

ViVi1989 · 19/08/2019 04:48

HI

So I fell down the bottom four steps carrying my 5month old three days ago and she broke her leg.
it's been the most horrendous three days ever, she's had to have both legs elevated for three days which means she has been laying in hospital on a bed for three days, which has meant I'm expressing breast milk and topping up with formula to make sure she's really full and haven't been able to cuddle her.
she is literally fine in herself loving the constant attention and once her leg was suspended she's been so chilled, she's such a good little baby anyway she's so perfect.

I spent day 1 constantly crying by day 2 it eased off and today I've been crying on and off too. every time I close my eyes I re live the fall and think of the entire day all over again and think of her in pain and literally re live every step I can't sleep unless my head is next to her and I'm holding her hand which hasn't been for long.

I'm not sure why I started this thread I just feel seriously hopeless and depressed and like I don't deserve to be her mum anymore.

she's going under general anaesthesia at 9am and alll I can think of is her tiny heart racing I'm driving myself crazy but not sure what else to do

OP posts:
livelaughcheese · 19/08/2019 04:51

Oh sweetheart, it was an accident. I'm so sorry this happened to you. It will be okay. She will be okay and so will you xxx

flapjackfairy · 19/08/2019 04:52

Oh you poor thing. Accidents happen. It is v hard when your little ones are suffering and you can do nothing more to help so be v gentle with yourself. You will get through this and life will settle down again. Cry as much as you need to. It is natural under the circumstances.
On top of that you are exhausted so no wonder you feel so bad . I really hope tomorrow is a better day and that your little ones op goes smoothly. X

RebeccaCloud9 · 19/08/2019 04:53

Oh how horrendous for you. Accidents happen and this was not your fault. She is being fixed up and will be completely fine. She is so little she won't remember thia, but she will grow up with a mum who quite clearly loves her completely which is the most important thing.

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gretat · 19/08/2019 04:54

Oh your poor dd and you. Please don't think you're a bad mum - accidents happen! Try to get some sleep. Easier said than done! I'm sure all will go well in the morning.

CarolineKate · 19/08/2019 06:13

Hiya. Firstly so sorry this happened. Secondly this sounds like it was incredibly traumatic for you. I think you should speak to the doctor about how you are feeling as a few counselling sessions would probably help. It is completely natural for you to respond in this way but you need to learn how to cope and manage these feelings for your own wellbeing! Your daughter has probably already forgotten about the incident and when she is older she won't even have any memory of ever being in hospital xx

MaryMayhem · 19/08/2019 06:19

Oh, love! It could happen to any of us, honestly. I echo a pp, please speak to your GP. Your little one is getting the best care, and you deserve some help too to process it all. You'll both be grand. Huge hugs to you x

Original poster
ViVi1989 · 19/08/2019 06:47

Thanks everyone, for seriously making me take a breath. I have thought about getting some counselling later on when life gets back to normal.

just living in a nightmare right now xxx

OP posts:
Yogurtcoveredricecake · 19/08/2019 06:52

Please don't blame yourself. She's getting the best care. Can someone take over being with her so you can get some rest at home? Agree with PP re going to the GP for support. Hope all goes well with her operation this morning.

Sizeofalentil · 19/08/2019 06:53

You poor thing! There's no way you could have avoided this or else you would have. You sound like a really lovely mum - just you saying how perfect she is shows how much you care- and she's lucky to have you.

Please don't beat yourself up about this, it happened and you sort help. We're all just doing our best here. ThanksThanksThanks

BusterGonad · 19/08/2019 06:54

I totally understand how you feel Op, my son was born premature and the 3 months he was in hospital I literally cried every single day and blamed myself for not being able to 'make' him properly, to this day (10 years on) I still blame myself.
As a mother we feel it's us who should protect our children and when bad things happen we then blame ourselves, I'm sure you didn't cause the fall on purpose, just like I didn't fail to produce a full term baby on purpose. These things happen and we must try not to blame ourselves.

Original poster
ViVi1989 · 19/08/2019 06:56

I genuinely can't leave her side for more than 5 minutes, they have a parent tea room and shower room which I'm using but don't want to leave. my partner has been staying too I'm by no means alone, my mum takes over if he needs to pop or or go to work for a few hours. but if im not holding her hand or playing with her I'm expressing. once I can hold her and cuddle her I think I'll be ok. just need to get through the gener anaesthetic next. step by step.

OP posts:
Original poster
ViVi1989 · 19/08/2019 06:58

absolutely we blame ourselves, I'm sorry you still blame yourself - your ten year old is thriving and enjoying life as a healthy child, no need to still think about what must have been 3 awful months . thanks for your reassuring words x

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 19/08/2019 07:29

@ViVi1989 that's okay, you will get through it. She knows you love her and she knows you'd never hurt her. That's all that matters. ❤️

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