Feeling disconnected from my daughter

[DMM23]

My daughter is the eldest of 3 (9, 6 & 9mnths), recently she has the constant need for attention and I don't know how to resolve this as I feel I'm doing what I can.

At the moment it's "what about me?" to absolutely every conversation that goes on. Something happens with one of her siblings it's automatically "what about me?"

She's never needed or wanted for anything and as far as I'm concerned she's not treated any differently either, the only thing I can think of is that it seems to be every time she returns from her dads (we split & divorced when she was 2yrs) she hates hearing that we've done things without her although she gets to do lots of things at her dads and with us when she's home.

She seems to get babied when she's at her dads but she doesn't here which I think is also a factor to play in this. She has chores etc to do when she's home like her sister does but it sounds like she just gets to do whatever she pleases when she's away.

It was recently her birthday and took her out to the cinema and we had a girly day of shopping & lunch, she absolutely loved it and just the other night she comes out with "it's never about me".

I'm at a loss of what to do? I feel disconnected from her, am I failing as a mother and not seeing something that's right in front of me?

Or is this just a normal phase that she's going through? Hormones maybe?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated or even hearing from other parents that have gone through the same to help out my mind at ease.

Thanks.

Does she have one to one time with you....just you...on a daily basis?

They all need that. Even if it's only half an hour.

Admittedly no, not on a daily basis.
My partner works long hours and with a baby in the house it's pretty close to impossible at times to even get half an hour to myself.
Do you have any suggestions on how I could work that into our routine?

Thanks x

It sounds like there's a lot going on for her, slitting her time between two houses, a new sibling ... If you can't find time to spend an hour of one on one time with her, I wouldn't be too dogmatic about her doing her chores. She's 9, doing 'what she pleases' in the Summer holidays doesn't sound that abnormal.

They don't have "strict" chores as such it's just things like helping empty the dishwasher, picking up their clothes and bringing them to the washing basket and taking their toys & books back up to their rooms.

Does that sound too much even in the holidays?

Thanks

Does the baby have a bedtime? Would it be possible to spend half an hour with her when the baby has first gone down?