Breastfeeding and going stir crazy!

[Iliketreenames]

Hi everyone

Let me start by saying that I'm so grateful to be able to breastfeed and that I definitely don't take it for granted, I know lots of people have issues.

My son is coming up for 11 weeks old and I have been breastfeeding him with the odd bottle thrown in (although he has been rejecting this the last few days!)

Sometimes he feeds for hours on end and I'm just sitting at home watching tv. This isn't like em at all and I'm really struggling with not being able to get out more. Don't get me wrong, I pop out a few times a week to see friends when I can.

It's just that my friends who are bottle feeding seem to be leaving the baby with their partners while they go swimming or go to yoga and I feel so far away from being able to do that (especially if ds continues to refuse a bottle,!)

I'm also back t work on December so really want to make the most of this time.

Has anyone felt similar and how did you get through it?

Your post takes me right back to my first weeks with eldest. I was agonisingly bored and climbing the walls, thinking 'is this my life now?!?'

I would encourage a gentle routine which makes things easier as you can plan more. The baby whisperer is good. I also found that my baby naturally fell into the routines of she who should not be named, without really trying.

I also think that when you're out and about the baby might feed a little less. I found when you're sat on the sofa feeds were long and lingering. Out and about she fed, and off we went, it was generally much quicker.

So, I'd be brave and just get out a bit more. At worst you have to sit down with a coffee to feed, or you miss half a class, at best you both get an interesting trip.

It's actually much easier to do stuff now then when the baby is older, needs proper food, wants to be anywhere but the pram etc.

P.s baby cinema....probably, seriously, saved my life (horrible PND and this was a 'me' activity that we could do together)

What's his feeding like at the moment? What times did he feed, and for how long yesterday, for example? Is he gaining weight ok, lots of wet and dirty nappies? Does he spend much time awake?

@pinkcardi that's so reassuring! And yes I think you and a few of the other posters here alright the more we get out the more he will get used to being out and feeding will be quicker. In fact we just got home from an afternoon out and when he did feed it was over much quicker than when we are at home.

Thank you so much for your advice everybody,!

For me at around 12 weeks baby started to be much more predictable in terms of naps, which in turn made it easier to anticipate feeds.
Cluster feeding calmed down and although baby never went more than 2-3 hours between feeds, feeding was more efficient so would only take 10 minutes leaving much more time for other things.

No baby constantly drinks for hours on end, they are sucking for comfort.

By 12 weeks i knew how long my dd needed to feed, and once she started faffing about i stopped feeding. If she needed ro go back on i would, bit 99%of the time she was done and a dummy satisfied her sucking need.

By 3 weeks i was out and about as my much as my friends who bottle fed as i could just feed dd when i was out.

Is he definately hungry? Maybe he's just feeding that long for comfort. I'm BFing too and I always pop out and about. I do two mum and baby yogas a week which are fab.

Do you live near a cinema? Mine do mum and baby screenings and I've even taken my DS to a normal screening as he just wanted to sleep and feed so it was relaxing.

Try to get out and about even just for an hour. You'll have plenty time to take an hour or two for yourself further down the line unfortunately I think BF babies will always be more tied to us and harder to leave.

Persevere with a bottle of expressed milk or formula I wish I'd done this more!

I am totally for demand feeding babies but I also am of the opinion that it doesn't hurt them to have your own limits/a break when you need to.

For example if you think you can leave, get changed, do the yoga class, get back etc within 2 hours? I'd just go and leave him with DH. Don't worry about leaving a bottle. If it would take longer maybe see if DH could drive you there so you can feed in the car before you go in.

In fact at this age I would be totally happy to go for up to 3 hours - but only if I knew I wouldn't be held up and accidentally be longer. Also you might feel more comfortable with 1-2 hour trips at first.

I would not advocate that you sit down and plan out a schedule and sit with a timer and insist that a baby (of any age) waits at least 2 hours between each feed every single time, but once a day? Few times a week? Absolutely fine and I expect you are not even thinking of doing it this often.

I also agree with other posters that babies remaining attached to the breast for long periods are generally not needing to feed at that point. I don't mean never do this - if you're sat at home, and you're into a box set or a really long MN thread and you're happy about it and having a lovely cuddle then absolutely crack on. It's not "just" comfort, there is so much that they get from prolonged feeding like that and it is a positive thing - but if it suits you to think actually - he's got the good stuff now - I want to get on with other things - you can do that and you should do without feeling guilty. Or if you're feeling "FFS my nipple is about to fall off child" then you can also put him down. Just try it. Sometimes they will protest and sometimes they can then be soothed in another way - jiggling or movement (put in pushchair and immediately start walking, put in bouncy chair or swing).

That's part of what's great about breastfeeding, you can be so flexible with it.

Another tip I have found this time is the Huckleberry sleep tracking app. I don't track anything except sleep with it but it's very useful because it predicts for you when your baby's next nap will be, which I found really helpful as I then knew that at that time, I would need to be either in bed with him having a nap myself, sitting down relaxing with some TV/internet, in exactly the right position/set up to possibly tempt him to be put down and take a nap alone, or be on the move with the pushchair/car seat. One of those would have fitted my current state and it meant I could arrange other things around it.

It definitely gets easier. I found 3 months was when i was confident with timings and going to classes. I found learning to feed in the sling was a real game changer. It hurts to begin with but now it's so practical and easy. My ds is nearly one, he toddles over to me and grabs my boob for a feed. Haha doesn't sound very cute but every time he does it i feel so thankful i carried on with breastfeeding.