4 year old strangled my 2 year old?

[user1493081797]

My mum takes my 2 year old out on one of my work days. She goes with my auntie who also takes her 4 year old grandchild. The 4 year old has always been a bit rough with my child but put it down to normal children play. Well a while ago he started hitting, pushing, biting, pinching and pinning down my child. Obviously it is stopped by my mum quickly. I had a discussion before about it and it seemed to stop him from behaving that way for a while. Well last week my child went out with them as normal and out of nowhere the 4 year old walked up to my child (no emotion) and began to strangle my child. My mum noticed within seconds, but it concerned another women enough to run over to stop it. Well after my mum told me what happen, i said he won't be spending time with him anymore.

Well it seems to be causing problems now within the family as they seem to think i am being unreasonable and over thinking it. They dont seem concerned about his behavior. It worries me as his mother is soon to give birth. I worry how he will be towards a baby.

My child is very loving and tells me he is the one who is naughty and basically saying the child hurt him cos he was naughty which isn't true.

Am i being unreasonable?

TIA

I suspect 4 year old may have some undiagnosed difficulties/disabilities. You are not being unreasonable. Your child shouldn't have to suffer because of another child, it would be cruel to allow your child to be around him.Sends a horrible message to your son.

Not you’re not being unreasonable. If this was my child I would only have him near the other child under my close supervision. Not that I wouldn’t trust my mum exactly but I’d want to know/see myself and respond myself.

Stick to your guns. Your protecting your child.

You’re not being unreasonable at all. It would be unkind to force your child to spend time with this boy.

Are the boys parents concerned? Being a bit rough is excusable but trying to strangle another kid is not normal. They need to speak to their GP.

The parents don't seem concerned at all. That side of the family are sticking together and behaving like we are in the wrong for stopping him seeing him. I don't understand how they don't see how worrying his behaviour is.

Is the 4 year old in nursery/school? Likely it won't be long until school makes a referral. Not normal behaviour at all, I'd say he is either used to seeing this behaviour at home and copying or has some undiagnosed disability/difficulty.
You def aren't in the wrong, it is abnormal and dangerous behaviour. Imagine the trauma for your poor boy being strangled and if it happened again without them noticing....
If you allowed your son to continue being abused by this boy it'd be cruel. Family are probably in denial there's a problem

Look after your child.

Just grow a thicker skin to this branch of the family.

YANBU at all.

Both of my twins have ASD and fortunately are not in any way violent. If they were, it would be me removing my child from a situation where they were hurting others, it’s not up to others to protect their children from mine. Even if the other child has additional needs not get diagnosed, that doesn’t mean your child should be exposed to harm. I’m so sorry his parents aren’t concerned, they should be.

Thank you for all your messages. I think i just needed the reassurance that i wasn't making a bigger deal out of it than it is.