Worried about my cautious toddler

[kittlesticks]

Wondering if anyone out there also has a more cautious toddler and could help give me some perspective.
My DS is 2 and 3 months and is very nervous of anything unfamiliar, so much more so than other toddlers we know, and it worries us. He's always been quiet and sensitive, but I think it's getting more severe. If we go to a soft play he refuses to go on the equipment and gets very distressed when we persevere. He won't use play equipment in a park either. We are taking him swimming regularly but he gets very distressed there too.
He goes to nursery and they say he does go on their equipment and follows other kids. He enjoys being in a familiar environment and although cautious at first he will play ok at other peoples houses and with other children. He loves books, his own toys and is ok trying new foods.
We want him to enjoy going out to parks, swimming, things that others his age do. We still take him regularly, as we don't want him to start school thinking he can opt out of things that scare him. Also obviously want him to enjoy himself!
Does anyone have any advice?

Anyone?

My now 15 yo ds has never been to the top of a climbing frame. He was cautious with anything physical. Swimming, riding a bike, even running at full pelt!

He plays rugby, hockey and does an obscure martial art now... But he's also thoughtful and gentle and kind as a person. They're all different. His younger brother was the total opposite. Go figure.

My daughter is a few months older and similar. She takes a while to get settled in a new environment.
We started doing a toddler gym session at the start of the year and I think that’s helped her confidence. She still says she can’t but with support she will now have a go.
I was worried about it, but seeing her friend fling himself about and dive around without a care made me thankful that she is quite calm and cautious!

Softplay us total sensory overload, for my oldest toddler it was hell on earth

He also hated birthday parties until he has about 7, or groups of shouty kids

A friend said he was just a highly sensitive boy

Also wary of new people, new foods

He is now a bog standard teen, you would never know. Very confident, outgoing, eats anything, likes rock and metal (loud! )

Some young kids like peace,and quiet and calm, and there is nothing wrong with that. He might enjoy a slow forest walk, picking up sticks, much more enjoyable.

Thanks for the replies. Toddler gym would be a great idea actually, am currently recovering from the birth of DD but I will look into taking him when more mobile. Glad to hear about others who grew out of being cautious. I suppose my concern comes from not wanting him to be unhappy.

@SolitudeAtAltitude he absolutely loves walking along picking up sticks! He also adores smelling flowers. Bless him. I guess we all just want our kids to fit in but perhaps we should just embrace the quiet!

My dd was exactly the same. It worried me senseless! She was a late walker too and has always been very sensitive to noise and crowds etc. She is now 5 (just finished reception) and is still very cautious of everything but is getting there with lots of encouragement. She's recently started going on the slide at the park (still won't touch the swings) and being really brave learning to ride a bike. We have her booked in for swimming lessons soon which will probably be disastrous but she's willing to try at the minute. She's never been in a pool because she's terrified. She wouldn't even go paddling as a toddler (and still won't now)!

It's frustrating as a parent when you see their friends doing all sorts of things which your own child is too scared to do. It's a very slow process but you just have to be patient and they will do things in their own time. I find lots of positivity and talking about how great they are doing at certain things, and little rewards really help overcome fears.

Thank you @JimmyPesto that's good to know. Your DD sounds lovely. I worry so much about DS. He was also a late walker, he didn't walk until 20 months.

Thank you @JimmyPesto that's good to know. Your DD sounds lovely. I worry so much about DS. He was also a late walker, he didn't walk until 20 months.

I think we have the same child @kittlesticks DS is same age as yours and is also quite shy in new situations, getting overwhelmed when other kids seem to just dive into things. He didn't walk until 19mths so I started a toddler gym with him and he loved it, it really brought out his confidence. I've got his 2yr check with the health visitor soon and will ask about his this so I'll come back and update once I've spoken to them.

My little boy was a late walker, 18 months. He's always been very cautious, we laugh about it swimming, cautious. Playgrounds, cautious. Often won't go on the slide, unless we put him down it and then he loves it. Soft play, unsure until he gets into it but won't go down the slide on his own. Some kids just like to take more time sussing out the situation rather than diving in

@starfish2385 maybe we do! DS has had 2 year check early because I was due with DD so they let me get it out of the way. He spent the whole check sat on my knee and didn't want to play with the toys they had, but I think if he'd been there a bit longer he would have got down and played. Health visitor didn't really ask about his personality just went through the questionnaire and said he was totally fine which probably put my mind at rest for about a week.

Just bumping for the evening crowd

My sister was the same, she’s just a quiet and sensitive person, and a bit of a homebody even now she’s 18. I don’t think she’s missed out, she went abroad for a week with friends in the summer and is off to college to do an art foundation year soon.

My DD threw herself face first off the sofa today so I wouldn’t mind her being a little MORE cautious tbh