Wwyd - 4yo deliberately breaking something

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

Recently, I redecorated DD 4.5 bedroom. It needed doing, but I made sure she had a lot of input. After, it looked really nice and she was thrilled with it.

She has had it about 10 days, and tonight was messing about at bedtime a bit, unable to get off to sleep. I had to go up a few times.

The last time, I found she had taken down a decoration that was on her windowsill and destroyed it. I feel fairly sure it was boredom/ thoughtlessness but feel really let down tbh.

How would you handle that?

Yes, I would also feel really disappointed about this. I guess you could follow a 'natural consequences' type of approach, that if she deliberately breaks things then she can't be trusted to have nice things in her room? So don't replace the thing she broke and explain why.

Do you think there's a reason why she was struggling to get to sleep? If this happens a lot, maybe try to find ways of helping her to settle, eg have a regular bedtime routine, make sure she's getting enough exercise in the day so she is properly tired, no screens for an hour before bedtime, let her play soothing music etc.

Hi, thanks.

Bedtime in general is not a problem - today we'd had a nice day out an hour from home with plenty of exercise etc and she had fallen asleep in the car on the way home. Of course she is long past napping so I think it just jiggered her normal routine. I am not worried about the bedtime really.

I know she is only 4 and it's stupid to get upset. This morning we calmly vacced up the bits left on her carpet and showed her the bigger pieces left in the bin. I said I was disappointed and she wouldn't be able to have another one now (she can't as it was made not bought and I don't have the materials for another).

We also said no iPad today and she cannot have a biscuit after her activity that she does.

She didn't really say anything but made a silly deflecting joke and a bit later had a minor toileting accident so I think she is sorry but doesn't know how to express it. I will leave it there for now.

3 punishments - i think that's a bit much tbh,

Did you give her a way out?

Mummy’s a bit disappointed you broke that as I’ve spent a lot of time and money making it especially for you. I’d like you to say sorry.

You’ve dealt with it entirely appropriately. It feels like you’re more upset because you made it. I understand why that would be but it’s not fair to put that disappointment on a four year old.

Cherry yes I think you are right. I tried not to 'put my emotions on her' as agree that is inappropriate.........BUT I also feel like, at almost reception age, she is old enough to start understanding someone taking time to do something nice for you.

Lois it was more like 'today we're not going to be doing so many nice things'. It wasn't angry just calm.

She did 'have a way out' I think because I said she had lots of other nice things in her room (new light, pictures) and would she now promise to take extra special care of them? She said yes.

Thanks, she is our oldest and it's good to talk this through - she can be careless sometimes but has never deliberately broken something before.