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Parenting

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Original poster

Do you play with your 11 month old baby?

10 replies

chargedproton · 12/08/2019 20:51

I hardly play with mine and I feel so guilty.

I always feed him, make sure he’s clean, happy etc, sing to him and read a book or two but I never play with him because he’s happy playing independently and then I get in with chores.

Am I affecting his development or psychologically?

Should I play with him more?

I feel so bad but I just end up sitting in my phone etc.

I’m really affectionate to him and talk to him a lot but just don’t play with him.

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sleepismysuperpower1 · 12/08/2019 21:12

i used to just do small things like rolling a ball to them, filling a shoe box with small objects like play keys and showing how to put things inside and take them out, and played with the bath toys with them. also, since they are learning to walk, i would try and entice them to walk to me by holding an object out and slowly moving it away. the games dont take a lot of effort but the babies enjoy them!

PerfectPeony2 · 12/08/2019 21:17

DD wanted my full undivided attention at that age and still does at 13 months. So I had to play with her constantly. It’s great that he entertains himself and it’s nice that you can have a break to get things done.

If you have a look on Pinterest there are some good activities you could do together. Do you go out to any groups? Or just the local library/park for a picnic? Do you feel like you’ve had a chance to bond with him?

Chitarra · 12/08/2019 21:20

It’s great that he’s happy playing independently, but I think it is good for their development to play with you, so I’d try to start playing with him - even if it’s only for (say) 15 mins twice a day.

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JustLikeJasper · 12/08/2019 21:21

@chargedproton my 11 month old is exactly the same, not a cuddly baby at all but is the happiest baby I've ever come across he is more than happy playing with his toys and learning to crawl. I hold his hands and we walk about the house a fair bit just he is just as happy playing by himself as if i sit on the floor and play with him

Embracethechaos · 12/08/2019 21:23

This was not what I was expecting from the title... sounds like your doing great, singing and reading and doing chores which he can see you doing, good modeling. I've heard independent playing is great for delopement.

Most of us could all spend less time on our phones though. I have a 13 month old.

'Games' we play, chase, stacking rings together, before she got the hang of it. But to be honest if they're playing independtly, I wouldn't disturb, I get down on her level and play with her toys with her if she's otherwise just running about....

How about actively trying to sit and watch without being on your phone. When my baby was born I got audible and listen to audio books, that way and can be watching and partially engaged and be present I'd she seeks eye contact while also not being bored.

Original poster

chargedproton · 12/08/2019 21:49

He’s tries to play with me e.g I have a snuggle sofa in his play room so I sit on it with my legs up whilst he’s playing and I’m on my phone etc and he takes balls from his ball pit in puts them in between my legs and then takes the off and puts them back and so forth.

I just don’t actively sit down and play with his toys with him. He’s happy enough, he only cries when I leave the room and he crawls after me but otherwise he will play as long as I’m sat there.

But I feel like I should be playing with him?? But I will try to play with him every so often in the day I think.

OP posts:

Pipanchew2 · 12/08/2019 21:52

Maybe try putting distractions like your phone away when he’s awake then you’ll probably find you naturally play with him a bit more because you get bored...

Original poster

chargedproton · 12/08/2019 22:02

Yes that would help! I am usually checking work email or mumsnet.

I wish I wasn’t so addicted to checking these two!

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PerfectPeony2 · 12/08/2019 22:07

I think you should put your phone away for a while and just spend time with him, you’ll feel better for it.

I am pretty addicted to Instagram/ Mumsnet but I only look during naptime or after bed. I hate the idea of DD thinking of me as a phone zombie.

tappitytaptap · 13/08/2019 06:52

Mine is a little bit younger and I have a 3 year old as well. Will play a bit with his toys (likes passing them back and forth) but he is also happy to play on his own, or with his brother or crawl and cruise round all the furniture. I often talk to him about what he's playing with, and he'll come over to pull up on me/grin at me if I'm sat on the sofa. He likes me to sing nursery rhymes and I think play at this age often involves just talking to them about what they are doing and waving a few toys. If you have any days off during the week how about a baby class for something a little structured? We do music bugs which both my boys like. Playing independently is important too though. My 3 year old is really good at it, playing with trains and telling little stories, he has a fantastic imagination. I'd be driven mad (and never get anything done!) if he wouldn't play on his own. I get out a lot with DS2 (when DS1 at nursery) and both of them as well which keeps them nicely occupied. I do think DS2 at 10 months now appreciates a change of scenery at a park/woods/playdate/coffee shop/walk round the shops etc.

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