Am I being unreasonable with my own mother?

[TommyMummy]

My mother lives very far away and occasionally comes to visit. This would be her first visit since we started weaning my boy.
He had gastrointestinal problems which needed medical attention when he was 3months old, at 6months we were advised to take weaning slow and introduce foods one at a time as to not upset his tummy. I decided to make everything from scratch just to monitor what he was being fed so we could isolate anything that might have caused him tummy aches.

My mother was to mind him on her own while I went to work one day so I labelled all the food that he would need during the day, his snacks and meals.
When I came home I found out she had bought a pouch of baby Spag Bol and given it to him.

I have no problem with pouches of ready made baby food but considering he had never tried half of the ingredients in there I was worried that something might upset his tummy and we could end up back in hospital again.

Thankfully he's fine, he was extremely hard to put down to sleep that night and had a couple of funny looking poos but other than that he was ok. But I'm extremely upset and angry at my mother for not doing what I asked of her. She has now made it out that I'm ungrateful and don't appreciate her help.

I've tried to speak to her today to sort it out but she's stormed off and decided to get the bus to the airport to go home earlier.

Am I being unreasonable?

You're not being unreasonable. Your son has a medical condition, and you provided all the food he needed.

Of course yanbu.

You have medical advice to follow. You communicated this. She decided she knew better.

If a latent did that they could be accused of neglect.

I do not understand why some people cannot follow instructions especially when the reasons for the actions being taken are very clear. I might not have agreed but I followed all the instructions when I was looking after my granddaughter - if I broke the rules I confessed. It is the parents decision how things are managed. I insisted on using reins when out as I have a back problem and could find it difficult to run after my granddaughter but this was discussed. Mother/grandmother is clearly in the wrong - you are not unreasonable.

You mother is 100% wrong. You provided everything she needed to care for your baby, with very good reasons why. It's outrageous she gave your child food not approved by you given his stomach issues.

If it was made clear to your mum he was to be fed only what you left, then YANBU

I guess her argument was that he's now 8months old and should be able to eat things like what she gave him.

I haven't introduced him to meat, egg or cheese yet, all of which were in said pouch of food so could have very easily upset his tummy.

He's on a diet of mostly steamed vegetables, fruit and formulae milk. Which he's thriving on & is sufficient for the moment.

It's just upsetting that she went against what was asked of her, hasn't apologised & made out I'm being incompetent by not giving him what she thinks he should be having.

You weren't wrong or ungrateful, she's being silly. She thinks she knows better that the hospital who told you to take it slow.
Obviously she has trouble follwing simple directions. Don't contact her for now, let her stew.
As for pouches, does anyone else think they are gross? You can't see in them, I prefer to see into the glass jar and know it isn't moldy.

To be honest whether or not there is a medical reason no one looking after a child should to against parents wishes, it annoys me on Mumsnet there’s a train of thought along the lines of ‘they’re giving you free childcare so you can’t dictate the rules’ - you can when it’s your own child!

Your child’s medical reasons are another matter, absolutely nothing that you haven’t said should be given, what if she’d made him ill?! I’d be so angry if my Mum did that! You are not unreasonable!

YANBU she should respect your wishes.
I would not be happy if any of my family went against what I set out.