Older DC hurting younger, please help!

[Lelly0503]

I have two DC, DC1 is nearly 2, DC2 is 4 months.
DC1 will lash out and hurt DC2. It can be in reaction to me telling him No, tiredness, boredom, attention seeking. I never ever leave them alone together, but he can be so unpredictable I can be sat between the two of them and he’ll swipe at his face and scratch him. I don’t know how to react to it anymore. It can go days/weeks without it happening and then come out of nowhere. My current reaction is a very firm ‘NO. Do Not scratch him’ then he is put upstairs in his cot immediately for 2 minutes. I don’t know if this is the right approach. He’s still very young himself and I know he doesn’t realise he’s causing him pain but he is awake now he’s doing something wrong. Any advice would be much appreciated

Don’t isolate him in his cot. You do not want him to associate it with being punished.
He is also far too young to have any idea of associating hurting his brother with a consequence like that.

@wildorchidz this was my worry Initially because I didn’t want him to associate his safe bedtime space with punishment. But I am at my wits end now. If I shout, he laughs. If I leave the room, he just runs around. I understand he is only young himself but he has to realise it’s wrong to hurt. He has scratched so hard he has made DC2 bleed.

The best advice I was given is to calmly remove him from that situation to what you call his calm down spot. For us it was a rug in the kitchen. No attention just straight on their spot for 2minutes. If they are upset you need to wait until they have calmed down and explain that what they did was not nice and maybe a kiss or cuddle for baby. Lots of praise when they do give nice kisses or cuddles too.
Reward the good, ignore the bad.
I've got 4 and been through this with 2 of them, it's horrible especially the bitey one!
Now the older 2 are 8 and 6 and are not so easy to put on a spot 😄